end of summer update

I am still not well.  I haven't been well, really, since before my wisdom teeth removal three weeks ago.  I am super bummed about this, as my time here is so precious.  

I have, luckily, managed to have some fun despite not feeling great.

We leave Vancouver this Saturday for Montana, which means I have three days left to get everything stored, shipped and packed. Eek!  Luckily my mom, sister and sister-in-law have been amazing about helping with the kids, so we are getting it all done quickly.  

Yesterday I got a haircut, ran a million errands, and shipped $387 worth of boxes to our house in Marshall.  Today Josh is running errands while I clean and wrap things up at the house.

I feel like everyday I am saying goodbye. Goodbye to roads, to restaurants, to friends, to family.  It's exhausting.  I am tired. Dead tired. Running on empty, but not wanting to stop for fear of wasting my last days here.

{He's perfected "the pout"}

I had hoped to blog about all of summer before leaving here, but I just don't think that's going to happen.  I guess it will give me something fun to do once I get to Alaska August 13th.

I am also super looking forward to homeschooling the twins' for kindergarten this fall.  Josh and I spent some time at Learning Palace, filling in the spaces in my curriculum. I am nervous, but the good kind.

I am hoping to do two new challenges once we hit Marshall:

One is a No Yelling Challenge (it's something I do that I hate myself for)

and the other is One Fun Thing A Day (I read about this in a magazine & loved it!)

I am considering when to start potty training Wyatt, which will happen at some point this school year. The idea of no diapers is very (very!) exciting after five years!

{This is what packing looks like... yikes!}

My mantra for the next few days is:

"Let whatever you do today be enough."

As I lay  my head down on my pillow at night, thinking over all the mistakes I made, patience I should have had, and things I should have accomplished, I am going to repeat that to myself until sleep comes.

Here's hoping it works!

the goodbyes

Today I am sad.

The goodbyes have begun, and I don't feel ready.

Yesterday we took off for the coast, where my grandparents live, to visit one last time. 

I can't believe I only made it out to see them twice all summer. 

The time goes too fast, and there is far, far too much to do.  

It's also a bummer that I was vicodin-detoxing (from my wisdom tooth extraction) this weekend, so I don't know that I was the best company.  

Plus all the impending goodbyes (this is our last week in Washington) are weighing heavy on my mind.

My grandparents are wonderful people. Salt of the earth.  Hard workers who appreciate what they have and share all they can.  They love me, my husband and our children with all their hearts, and would do anything for the five of us.  

As I hugged and kissed them goodbye in their gravel driveway in the sunshine, I told them I would miss them so much, and I couldn't keep the tears from falling.  That's the only crappy part of our choice to live in Alaska. The goodbyes.

I love where we live. I enjoy the isolation.
I enjoy the routine, and the ability to do our own thing.
But the goodbyes.
Man, they just about kill me.

Grandma asked me when we talked on the phone last if I was dreading being in Marshall.  Her friend had wanted to know. I said no. No. I'm not dreading being in Alaska. I love arriving. Arriving here, arriving there.  That's fun.

It's the leaving.  I hate leaving.

And I hate the goodbyes.

Oregon Zoo