Baseball is Over

The boys had their last game on Tuesday this week.  When their Thursday game was canceled due to weather, Jack sat alone in their bedroom crying while Josh was bathing Wyatt and I was making dinner with Logan. I was so grateful when he told me he'd been crying.  I hugged him some more (causing him to cry again) and assured him that this is just the beginning of his being on a team and experiencing all the fun that sports have to offer.

Jack at bat

Wyatt was quite the trooper all season

Logan at bat

Logan playing catcher

Me & my baseball bestie Bristol being silly!

Is she not the most precious thing ever?!?

Logan's not so sure he wants to play baseball again (lots of waiting in baseball... hard on a seven year old with little patience) so we may try out soccer for him.  Jack wants to play all.the.sports.  Hockey, football, basketball... You name it, he's willing to try it.  So in the spring we will take a look at our options and I'll let them choose another sport to try.  Meanwhile, I'm so grateful that baseball was such a great experience for them.  

Two More Days...

Josh leaves on Sunday, and tonight I am finding myself to be preemptively sad.  I love having him here so much.  I love falling asleep next to him, sharing our boys with him, doing life with him.  He makes everything better and my days easier.  

I am hopeful that next week, as I adjust to him being gone again, I am able to find little things to smile about.

Our Little Girl

{Myra, my grandma Pansy, Alida}

While we were at the beach visiting my dad's parents, I got to look back at pictures from my grandparents' childhoods and this one of my grandma and her two older sisters has got to be one of my favorites.  Looking at it again when I got home, I realized that their parents had three girls in a row, just like I had three boys in a row.  And their fourth? It was a boy.  

 My fourth? It's a girl.  

I pretty much still can't believe it.  Although I have bought a few girl things at this point, and am referring to her as "she"... I am still in disbeleif!  The twins are really excited to have a little sister and are anxious to help out when she's born.  Even Wyatt has warmed to the idea of a sister and wants to get her the series of Knuffle Bunny books (about a little girl named Trixie) so we can read them to her.

During our drive to the beach, Josh and I discussed baby names (and shared a whole lot of vetoes) and narrowed it down to a list of six.  We spent the next day thinking about those names to see what we thought was best.

Baby Girl Cunningham, we decided, will be named Carly May.  

Carly is a name we have both loved for ages and is on either side of our families in some form or another.  Josh's parents are Carol & Carl, and when I was looking at genealogy with my grandma I saw a whole lot of German Karl's in the descendants line.  I love a name with meaning, so it makes me happy to give our girl a name that is both adorable, and meaningful.

Her middle name, May, is also meaningful to us.  May is when our first lost baby would have been due.  May is also when I found out I was expecting this sweet baby girl of ours.  And for the last four years, May has been the time when we could finally go home & see our loved ones.  Our favorite month of the year, for sure.

So there you have it,

she finally has a name!

***

The Pumpkin Patch

Tuesday morning, despite some really thick fog, we took the boys to the pumpkin patch.  

Last time we went to the pumpkin patch, they looked like this:

{Fall 2011: Logan (3), Wyatt (4 mo.) & Jack (3) with Mommy}

 Wyatt obviously doesn't remember that trip to the pumpkin patch and was more than happy to have a go at it this year since we're in town!

I think their favorite was the hay pyramid which they climbed and jumped off of about twelve times!

We had a great time, petting & feeding the animals, riding the hay ride & picking some little pumpkins for the boys to bring home.  

And for fun, just to be festive, I wore my Halloween costume to the pumpkin patch.  The twins in particular thought my shirt was hilarious.  Jack thinks I should put a pink bow on her so people will know she's a girl.

Speaking of Baby Girl, I thought I'd share with you our baby name short list:

Ramona

Molly

Bailey

Carly

Kate

Hadley

***

It Feels Right to be With One Another

I have always thought that Josh was the best thing I ever did in my life.  Choosing him, choosing this life, it's just always felt right, from the very beginning.  The last few days together after being apart for three months has confirmed to me that he is absolutely the best thing I ever did in my life.

Being together reminds me how he makes menial tasks fun, makes me laugh, and always makes my happiness a priority.  He looks out for me, takes care of me, and goes out of his way to make my life easier.  Loading the car, brushing the kids' teeth or rubbing my back-- it doesn't matter what the task is, if he knows it will relieve my burden, he'll happily do it.  

I am so grateful to have such a selfless and loving partner.  To have a co parent who is "all in" through the good and the bad.  To have a soul mate that knows my every thought & loves me regardless.  To have a best friend who knows just when to tell a joke and lighten the mood.

Having him here again is going to make having him gone so hard, but I wouldn't trade it for the world.  Because it just feels right to be together.

{quote by Lang Leav}

***

26 Weeks

I am six and a half months pregnant.  

Baby Girl Cunningham is alive & kicking... literally.  

Josh got to feel her kick faintly yesterday and today she gave him a good strong one.  We are both so happy that he is home for the week, and his arrival has me in a contemplative mood.  Today on our drive home from the beach (more on that later this week) we were listening to my favorite album, JJ Heller's I Dream of You, when I Know You Will came on.

"You don't need to let the rain clouds 

underneath your skin

Love sings louder than the darkness

Let the light shine in

...I know you will"

And as I listened the lyrics, little Babyham dancing under my skin, I couldn't help but think how she's my rainbow baby.  And I felt incredibly grateful that God blessed me with a hopeful heart.  Because after two back to back miscarriages, it would have been really easy to throw in the towel, accept our family as it was, and not put myself out there again.

I'm so grateful we did try again.  The risk will absolutely be worth the reward.

***

In other news, we have narrowed down the baby name list to six possibilities. 

(!!!) 

Our Reunion

Saturday Morning:

Our youngest came in at 4:05am, requesting that I lay with him.  I quickly got him settled, praying he'd fall back asleep and not wake his brothers before climbing back into bed myself, luxuriating in the warmth of my bed against the chill of the air in my room.

At 4:30am my alarm went off and I was all systems go.  I jumped in the shower, going as fast as I could, then moved on to doing my hair & make up before getting dressed & putting on my jewelry.  Before I knew it, it was time to leave the house so I could make it the airport in time.  I shut the front door as quietly as I could, hoping the kids would all sleep until I returned and not wake Grandma.

5:15am on a Saturday morning, traffic was a non-issue and I made it to the 205 bridge in no time.  As I headed into Portland, my phone rang.  I answered and much to my surprise, it was Josh.  "Are you here?" I asked him, breathlessly.  

"Yes.  Our pilot said we got here early, so I'm already off the plane and heading to get my luggage.  Wanna just pick me up at arrivals?"

So I continued driving, turning onto the long, tree lined road that heads to the Portland International Airport.  As I passed the giant PDX sign, I thought to myself, "Josh is here. I could be hugging him right now!" I was still in disbelief that all his flights aligned and he was arriving just as we hoped he would, on time (early even!) and would be here for over a week.

I teared up, making the tail lights in front of me wash out in front of my eyes.  As I slowly followed the signs to Arrivals for Alaska Airlines, I saw him.  Walking slowly in his Columbia fleece, back pack on his back, luggage rolling behind him down the sidewalk, there he was.  I immediately pulled over, doing a terrible parking job, threw the car into Park and flew out of the car.  

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him.  Then I wrapped my arms around his middle and sobbed into his fleece jacket.  "I missed you so much," I breathed into his chest.  He just stood there, letting me hug him, letting me take him in.  His smell, his smile, his touch.  Ten weeks is too long to go without these things.  Ten weeks is too long to go without love.

~

River with my mom & sister

Dead mans float... Pretty convincing!

My nephew Fishy swimming like a fish!

It's strange to me when the last of something comes and you don't know it's the last.  I remember feeling that way (really intensely) when I no longer picked up & carried the twins.  A few months later when a picture of me with four-year-old Logan on my hip surfaced, I was overjoyed.  I had captured the last of his being-carried days after all.  

Well, going back through our summer photos to get caught up from our whirlwind of adventures, I came to the realization that this trip to the river was our last for the summer.  That last one is always so bittersweet.  There are leaves floating in the water, the trees are looking more yellow than green, and the kids are even slower to come out of the water as if they know somehow that these days are numbered.

I think I am especially sad that the boys got to be SUCH good swimmers this summer, and with fall setting in, I know they'll have less opportunities to practice. 

Endings are hard for me.  But hard endings also mean that good things have happened. And that's kind of awesome.

Daddy is Home

 Daddy is here.  He arrived this morning at 5:30am after twelve hours of traveling, plane to plane, and despite our collective exhaustion, we're thrilled.  Jack said after lunch today, "I just still can't believe you're here!"  

He's here for nine days and we are determined to make the most of it.

 Everything we do together as a family has a bit of magic in it.  Bike rides, walks to the park, even donuts for breakfast are more special when daddy's here.

*

I snuck out to pick him up while the boys were still asleep.  The first to wake up upon our arrival home was Logan.  He snuck downstairs where we sat visiting on the couch and settled himself like a cat on our laps, snug in the middle of us.  He was so happy to see Daddy.

 The second to wake up was Jack.  We were just heading upstairs to hang out in our room with Logan when Jack appeared at the top of the stairs.  He gave Josh the longest hug, arms draped over his shoulders, Santa bear gripped in one sleepy hand.  He seemed, relieved almost, that Josh had made it.

 The last to wake up was Wyatt, who joined us downstairs after we had commenced the eating of the donuts.  He was super shy & sleepy, but within an hour had warmed up so much that he asked if "just daddy could take them on our ride to the park."  I'm apparently old news now that daddy is here.  And that's just fine by me!

 A few minutes into being surrounded by all three kids Josh said to me, "I just missed them so much.  I'm so happy to be here."  It melted my heart and made me fall in love with him all over again.  I just love that man so much.

We've had a busy first day, with bike rides, a cousin's football game and our own baseball practice, but it's been so lovely.  Getting the kids out the door with another adult is amazing.  Having someone else to take Wyatt to the bathroom is amazing.  Riding shotgun while he taxis us around town is amazing.

And holding his hand after three long months apart? 

Amazing.

***

Riding Bikes

One thing my boys all love to do is ride bikes.  Wyatt's been riding this teeny tiny bike all summer, and it was the perfect bike to learn on because he could completely control it. But the time had come for him to move up, and when my mom offered to take him to get a new one, I couldn't turn her down.  He was so absolutely tickled to have a new Lightening McQueen bike.  Since moving up, he's taken a lot of crashes, but every time he jumps back up, shouting, "I'm okaaay!" and hops back on. I'm so proud of him.

It's crazy to think that at his age, the twins were already riding without training wheels.  They have always been so active and athletic.  Logan's most recent favorite is "off roading" in the trees behind our neighborhood park.  I think it makes him feel like a bona fide big kid.

I enjoy taking them bike riding, and I love that it's something they love to do together (and with minimal fighting!).  We could only ride for a few weeks on either end of winter in Alaska, so it's something we are feeling extra lucky to do since we're here in Washington this year.

***