Week 16 Around Here {2019}

{Where I'm at in life right now... so much mess, so much magic!}

Attending... Wyatt's awards assembly with Josh and Carly as he received a Roaring Reader award from his teacher.  He is such a good student and an amazing reader.  We were so proud of him in his big moment!

Single parenting...  last weekend while Josh went out of town with his brother to help my parents lay some flooring at their house.  I was so glad he could help them out, though, it was worth the effort!  Plus once I got the kids in bed, I got to watch whatever movies I wanted on Netflix.  Friday night I watched Private Life, which is about one couple's struggle with fertility treatment (so good!) and Saturday night I watched Her, which was sort of strange, but also made me think about what makes a relationship.  Very thought provoking.  Private Life reminded me, yet again, to be grateful for my fertility.  It's such a blessing to have these kids of ours.

Grocery shopping... with the whole crew on Saturday morning.  They were horrible before we left, angels at the store (seriously, so helpful and kind), and awful once we got home. I'm not sure why that's the way it was, but I guess I'll take it. Sigh.  I have heard a rumor that Grocery Pick Up is coming soon to our Walmart, and I am not exaggerating when I say that that would be LIFE CHANGING. (I know you moms get it!)  The stress of grocery shopping, the twins fighting with each other all afternoon, and then grounding them from movie night pushed me to make myself a drink once the kids were all in bed.  Some days raising them is just so, so hard.  Deep breath.
One day at a time.

Loving... how Jack always mindlessly plays with Carly's hair.  It's such an affectionate, older brother thing to do, and it warms my heart.

Dropping... Wyatt off for a playdate with his best friend from school.  They have been friends all year, always spending recess together, and writing each other notes about how they are so grateful for each other- it's the sweetest.

Tucking... the kids in and having a deep discussion about how to talk back to our "crazy" thoughts.  At night time, the boys often have worries (about intruders, break ins and bad things happening) so we had a big talk about reminding our "worried brains" of all the ways that we are safe in our home and in our lives.  I told them every time we "talk back", we are creating a new path for healthier thoughts.  In this way, these scary thoughts won't persist forever.

Snuggling... up with Wyatt as he struggled to sleep this weekend (as always) and I let him just climb in bed with me since Josh was gone.  We did get good news this week, though!  His MRI was approved by insurance, and should be scheduled soon.  Hopefully the MRI will hold some answers as to why he's waking up so much and why he's having headaches so often.

Crazy grateful... that Grandma Carol & Papa Carl took three of the four kids for the day on Sunday.  She had Carly, Wyatt and Jack while Logan and I got some one-on-one time.  The twins really needed a break from each other, and Logan needed some attention, so it was really perfect timing.  (Thank you!!!)

Catching... up on the blog over the weekend and feeling good!  I love when it's up to date and has all the pictures on it that I want to share.  It was especially fun to blog about spring break (we made so many new memories!) but I've also been sharing a lot about motherhood that's been on my heart and that feels good as well.

Adjusting... the twins' mouth spacers every evening after they had them put in Monday morning by our orthodontist Dr. Feller.  The adjustment causes a little pain each time, and the boys are struggling to eat (and talk), but it should get better with time.  The spacer should help spread out their smile, making more of their teeth visible, their smiles wider, and create less top crowding.

Cheering... at baseball games twice this week, with more coming up.  I was grateful on Tuesday when the twins and Wyatt's games were in the same location so I could pop between the two.  They are all doing so well and I am such a proud mama.  Jack's working on pitching and Logan is doing great hitting.  Wyatt can throw like nobody's business and hits every time he's up. Carly is a great little cheerleader, and as long as I have 172 snacks, she doesn't mind sitting down to watch the game. #momlife Ha!

Reading... Rising Strong, Reading People and Miracle Creek.  I totally geeked out when Angie Kim (who wrote Miracle Creek) commented on my Instagram post about getting her book from Book of the Month club. #booknerdsforlife
Reading People has sparked some interest in me about enneagrams.  I would like to do more reading about them. So if you have any insight, or a favorite book, website or person you follow who knows a lot about the enneagrams, please share!  I cannot decide what I am. My first guess would be a 6 or a 9... but I lack the confidence to know for sure at this point.
I finished listening to Something In the Water which was a great, edge of your seat listen, and moved on to The Incendiaries, which I am enjoying for all the religious talk.  One of the main characters left his church (for different reasons than me, but left nonetheless) and I identify with much of what he says about it. 

Dying... of cuteness when Carly got her glasses this week.  Oh my goodness, she looks so cute!!!  Not to mention, I think she can actually, finally see!!  Every time I see her, I melt a little bit inside.  She's just so precious.
She has done a really good job learning the rules (no touching the lenses; we only take our glasses off for sleep; etc.) and is adjusting super quick.  She's such a good girl.

Laughing... when I opened the boys' bathroom drawer to get the glasses cleaner and found a nerf gun and stocked case of Nerf bullets inside.  #boymom

Breathing in... all things spring.  The tulips, the daffodils, the cherry blossoms, the blue skies.  It is all making me so happy.  This morning as we left for school, Jack stepped out the front door before me and said, "Mom! Come out here! It smells like Rockaway!" (our favorite beach)
I stepped out behind him, and sure enough, it did.  We all just stood in the yard, running late for school, breathing in through our noses, inhaling as deep as we could to take in as much "Rockaway" as we could, before it disappeared.

Receiving... the boys' grades and being really proud of their growth this quarter.  Some grades could use some improvement, but those changes are already in progress, so they are well on their way.

Reading & underlining this (twice) in Rising Strong this week.

I maybe need this tattooed on my forearm:

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Week 15 Around Here {2019}

Loving... how God gives me hugs in the form of sunrises and sunsets.  This week it was the most spectacular sunrise that had our sky turning pink & purple and looking more like a watercolor and less like real life.  It was stunning, and took my breath away.

Squeezing... the last bit of fun out of Spring Break by renting Bumblebee for the kids for movie night and letting Wyatt have his friend over for pizza & cookies with us, and having my sister and her crew come over for the day Sunday.  The kids had fun together and I fell even more in love with my little niece.  She came over to me with her lovey blanket and cuddled in my lap on the couch and I seriously MELTED.  Oh how I love that little lady!

Preparing... for the week ahead by cleaning house with the kids Sunday evening and grocery shopping with Carly on Monday.

Struggling... to get back in the swing of things after Spring Break despite my preparation & good intentions.  We got out of our routine (read: had fun) over spring break and getting back on schedule (read: going to bed on time) was really hard all.week.long!  This struggle lead to some really rough mornings.  My tiredness coupled with the rain and some serious tween attitudes forced me to take some really deep breaths.  There were SO many fights to break up that one morning they found themselves grounded for the day because of their behavior.

Choosing... eye glasses for Carly who saw the eye doctor for the first time this week and is far sighted with a severe astigmatism, just like her three brothers before her.  Her prescription is not quite as strong as Logan's, which is a +5. something, but stronger than Jack's, falling at +3.5 Rx.  She looks ridiculously cute in her glasses.  I can't wait for them to get in with her lenses ready.
They had to dilate her eyes pretty severely so her pupils were huge for two whole days, and I joked that if she had asked for a unicorn I'd have gone out looking for one. Thankfully I had found a pair of tiny pink sunglasses on sale at Walmart earlier this week.  She put them to good use those two days.
Even though all three of our boys have bad vision, I don't think I had prepared myself for the idea that she would need glasses.  I was a bit in denial that we produce children with bad vision, I guess.  Luckily she's excited to match the brothers and I think she'll be adorable in them.
We also chose new glasses for Logan & Jack after their annual eye appointments this week.  I am so grateful for our awesome local eye doctor's office- the doctor and everyone on his staff is so great.  They fix the boys' glasses when they break, help us choose good glasses that tend to come with the best warrantees (because they know they will be seeing us soon with broken glasses in hand) and are so kind & engaged with my kids.

Reading... The Life You Longed For, which was slow to start, but then really good (& interesting- about Munchausen by proxy, so creepy!) and also Queenie, which I still haven't gotten totally into.  Meh.
I also listened to the rest of My Year of Rest and Relaxation, which was bizarre, but totally entertaining, and Lousiana's Way Home, which is a middle-grade read by Kate DiCamillo and is a sweet, short read.
Receiving my Book of the Month order, containing three books I can't wait to read!  This month I ordered Normal People by Sally Rooney, Miracle Creek by Angie Kim and Lost and Wanted by Nell Freudenberger.  If I can't get myself into Queenie, I may just jump into one of these next!

Thankful... that when Wyatt gets sick it doesn't produce in me the same anxiety that it used to.  We know so much more now, and we have the right mix of meds to keep him out of the hospital and off of oral steroids, both of which feel like miracles.  Every time he gets sick, I never cease to be grateful that the nebulizer does what it's supposed to (we use albuterol & budesonide in it 2x daily when he's sick) and it keeps us from having to be seen and keeps him from getting worse.  Hearing him cough doesn't send me off into a panic like it used to.  I never imagined that could happen.  What a blessing.

Smiling... about my new haircut.  It's been six months since I started Monat, and about eight months since most of my hair fell out, following a really stressful period of parenting Wyatt through a bout of bad asthma and Logan through a period of severe seizures that were uncontrolled by medication. I am taking some strong vitamins as well as biotin, plus using Monat shampoo (Black & Renew) and conditioner (Revitalize) everyday as well as their Replenish hair mask weekly, Rejuvenique hair oil twice a month, and Intense Repair Treatment & Rejuvabeads Split End Mender daily.  At first it felt like a lot, but my girl Haverlee assured me that in the end it would all be worth it. And thus far, she's been right.
I've been keeping it shorter since it started falling out, and this most recent haircut has me actually feeling like it's getting better.  I am so excited!  It's so true that you don't know what you got till it's gone.  I totally took my "good" hair for granted.  I actually envy Carly's messy bun. Hah!  But hopefully not for long.

Rolling... right into baseball season with practice every day of the week for either the twins or Wyatt's team.  It's crazy, but it's also kind of our favorite.  Plus it has meant Uncle Samuel is around more because he is helping Josh coach the twins' team, and that is everyone's favorite.  He makes us smile more and laugh harder.  Carly is especially in love with him.  He always says yes to reading a story or a playing a game with her, and it makes her so happy.  It's the most precious little relationship, watching her light up when he gets here.

Confirming... with our amazing orthodontist that Wyatt does need a spacer for his tiny little palate/nasal area.  It turns out he has a deviated septum, which makes it very hard to be a nose breather, which is what everyone should be.  If we can put a spacer in his mouth, spreading his palate a little wider, it will also give his nose a little more "room to breathe" (pun intended) and will allow him to breathe through his nose despite his deviated septum.

Impressed... by Carly's ability to draw things.  A few weeks ago she started drawing faces, and now her faces have legs and arms and sometimes hair.  Then earlier this week she drew a whale.  She's only three and I'm kind of blown away by her talent.

Momming... so hard this week.  You guys.  Sometimes I think that maybe we shouldn't be the ones who decide how many kids we have.  Like, when I had Carly, parenting the other three was relatively easy.  But now? Now that hormones are involved? Oh sweet baby Jesus, hold me.
I am parenting so hard that most days I can barely get into my pajamas at bedtime.  I forget things, I am constantly running late, I resolve to be patient, lose my temper, resolve to be patient again.  Lose my temper. Again. Sigh.
We are working with the kids on problem solving with our words instead of our bodies (there is seriously so.much.fighting with three brothers born within three years); teaching how to wash our bodies completely in the shower now that none of the boys are bathed by mom or dad; and how to choose the right friends to hang around. (Why is being "cool" so cool?)
They never stop moving, never sleep, never shut up.  (For reals. Is there even that much to talk about? There can't be. And yet.) They wake me up at least twice a night for nightmares, anxiety or imaginary ailments.  I am always so flipping tired.
But also, being with them, hearing their thoughts at bedtime as I tuck them in, rubbing their backs as I sing them a song from JJ Heller's lullaby album, it's like my church.  They are my devil and my redeemer.  They are my savior and what I need rescuing from.  Children's books read out loud in their beds, piled high with blankets & stuffed animals, followed by hugs, kisses and snuggles? That's my church.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.  But some weeks, I'll tell you, I am putting in the WORK. And this was one of those weeks.

And since... laughter is good medicine, here's something funny I read this week about mom sleep.  "It's like regular sleep, but without the sleep." 
It's funny cause it's true.
#dying

Heartwarmed... when I went to plug in the twins' cell phones and found they both had Carly's picture as their lock screens.  They may fight with each other, and drive me CRAZY, but they are amazing big brothers, and they love her like nothing in this world.  She's so lucky to have them.

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Next week, I am going to try to get on top of my self care.

• 1) Go to bed on time
• 2) Wake up before the kids
• 3) Working out in some fashion everyday
• 4) Take time to read 
• 5)  Journal something each night

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