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4.09.2022

Around Here: Week 10 2022

 {March 6-12th}





ABOUT NATURE:
(p.1) Nature is amazing. Nature is wonderful. Nature is a place for kids
(p.2) to grow up. Nature is a good place for kids to have adventures.
 







This is her safety advice:
"Chair"- Don't stand on chairs
"Buddy"- Always stay with your buddy
"Look both ways"- When crossing the street

(p.1) Lions roar to scare predators
(p.2) When cats put their tail up that means they're happy



Losing... my mind the night before my first sub job.  I was so nervous, there aren't even words.  Having not worked outside the home in over a decade made me very scared to put myself out there again. 
After sitting at the kitchen table while Josh and Samuel (his brother) were visiting and playing pool, tears sliding silently down my cheeks, I went upstairs to let myself cry a little harder and my mom called.  While talking to her, I realized that my big feels were not actually about working, subbing or the new technology I needed to learn on the job, but were actually about the fact that I am no longer strictly a stay-at-home mom.  
It feels like I have been laid off or fired from a job I really, really loved and was good at.  I wasn't ready to move on or retire.  I loved being a mama to littles.  I loved having babies and toddlers.  But those sweet little ones have grown, and now there are no Cunningham's underfoot.  I am left feeling, honestly, a little bereft. 

Facing... my first day of work and feeling the love and support of all my people.  Josh made copies of coloring sheets for my sub bag; my book club girls all texted me saying how lucky those kids were to have me as their sub that day and assured me that I would do great; and my sweet friend Christi (who teaches at my kids' school where I am subbing) popped in that morning to help me hook up the technology (smart board) I was so intimidated by. I was so grateful I could have cried. 

Celebrating... that I DID IT!!! I was so tired at the end of that first day, but it was a successful day, and I loved it. I love getting to know students and I love teaching.  That said, obviously I prefer being home full time, but I think getting out of the house (and earning a little bit of money) will be really good for me. I will say though that parenting after a day of working (specifically teaching) is v. v. difficult! I don't know how many times I told Josh and my friend Christi (both teachers) that I don't know how they do this everyday. They are heroes. 

Grateful... that the weather is warm enough and dry enough that Carly doesn't have to wear her snow pants to school everyday any more.  That was exhausting. Hah!
Also grateful that Josh makes our bed everyday.  There is just something about walking into our room with the bed already made that puts a smile on my face. 

Admiring... a tiny pansy Carly found in the front yard and picked to put in a vase. I love how she sees the beauty all around us. 
I also found myself admiring lots of her writing this week.  She wrote a non-fiction paper about lions (see above) all by herself, and while we were playing outside this week she wrote a little paper about nature. I just can't even.  She's so fun.  And the safety ideas she brought home from school killed me. She is so smart. 

Laughing... at Jack imitating me as a "parent" on some videos I shared on Facebook and Instagram.  Gosh that kid is FUNNY! He and his brothers make me crazy, but they also bring me so much joy, and so much laughter. 
Also laughing as Carly and I took Piper on her first walk.  We were about four houses from our driveway and I said aloud, "Well, this is terrible." And Carly responded, "Did you think it would be great?" Ha!!! That girl's sarcasm is unreal.  It's from her dad and brothers. 

Reading... Sleep, My Child, Forever by John Coston, which is a devastating true story, but horribly written; and listening to Invisible Women by Caroline Perez, which is so discouraging to listen to. 
Thankfully I was also reading Anne of Windy Poplars, which was so much fun.  It may be my favorite Anne of Green Gables book yet. 
On the way home from the park, Carly wanted to check out our Little Free Library, so I let her choose two books to bring home.  She loves that so much! 

Feeling... so bad for Logan when he suddenly got a migraine out of nowhere (which is usually how they happen) and he vomited over and over.  Finally he fell asleep and I was so relieved for him. 

Eating... all the farm fresh eggs as my mother-in-law's chickens started laying more after a winter lull.  

Watching... Wyatt build his current Kiwi Crate project, which was a portable lap desk he can use at bedtime if he wants to color or draw instead of reading. 

Driving... Logan to the skate park any time he has a spare moment and the weather cooperates.  He has been skating for a year now, and he's so good at it. It seems like every week or two he's mastering another trick.  It reminds me so much of my little brother. 

Challenging... myself with Wordle (it truly lives up to the hype!) and Qwordle.  Super fun, brain stretching games! 

Treating... myself Saturday morning to a really yummy breakfast and some quiet time.  I went through a gauntlet of emotions this week, and going back to work (even only for one day) was a lot.  So I honored that with a quiet start to the weekend. 

Loving... family movie night this week as it felt like we all needed a little time together, relaxing.  I cooked pizza for everyone and made brownies that we ate with ice cream while watching The Sandlot.  That movie is such a classic, so nostalgic for Josh and I, plus the kids love it. Overall, it was a top night. 

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Around Here: Week 9 2022

 {February 27-March 5th}





















Signing... the boys up for baseball.  They are all so excited for the season, and honestly so are me and Josh. 

Buying... myself tulips at Safeway and feeling so happy for that vision of spring on my dining room table.  Winter will end.  Sunshine is on its way! Mamas, buy the flowers! You deserve it, and you will not regret it! 

Framing... my favorite picture of Phoenix, who was my student back in 2005.  He was a kid who had my heart, and sadly he passed away in July 2020.  I think of him all the time and wish I could go back and save him. But he reminds me to live each day. 

Spending... some time this week coloring, trying to reach a point of feeling zen.  I have been very (very) anxious about becoming a substitute teacher.  My paperwork finally came through and as of next week I can start subbing! While this is exciting (the money will sure be nice) it is also kind of scary! I haven't worked outside the home in over a decade!

Sighing... at how messy Carly's room always is. That girl! She has a great imagination, and can play for hours, but oh the mess!! 

Praying... for Josh's dad as he had a procedure done.  We were so grateful he came out of it great and is home doing well. 

Reading... the HONY story about Venus. Gosh, I kept clicking back and clicking back to see if more of her story was posted on Instagram.  What an inspiring woman! 
I am also listening to Wish You Were Here by Jodi Picoult.  It is such a good listen. I gave it four stars, but I will tell you that it threw me for a loop!!! Such crazy good writing. 

Dressing... Carly up as a "mad scientist" for "Oh The Places You Can Go" day at school; and as a jaguar on Animal Day.  What I love about Carly is that "more is more" for her, so she doubled up on different jaguar prints, which cracked me up. 

Grateful... that drop off has improved for Carly.  It seems to go back and forth from great to terrible, but I am cautiously optimistic about it being better right now.  She does best if Wyatt is there, it's still hard if he is home sick and she has to walk in on her own, but if he's there, she is good.  
Morning snuggles and not having to rush helps, as does happy music on the drive to school.  So we're slowly figuring it out. 

Cooking... salmon patties for dinner with canned salmon Josh got at Costco, and feeling thrilled that everyone in the family liked them.  They devoured them!! So that will be going on the meal rotation for sure!

Loving... that Jack and his best bud Ainsley come home a few times a week to work out in the shed.  We have a punching bag and a weight bench and they put it to good use. Love those silly boys. 

Accidentally... yelling at Josh to turn off the TV when I thought he was Jack on the couch.  Haha! This is the problem with my twins growing up so fast, they are suddenly man-size and my image of them in my mind hasn't caught up. Poor Josh. 

Capturing... all of Carly's most recent creations.  Her writing, the "hypnotizer" she made, her set up of Molly & Addy on the kitchen table, and recording her beat boxing.  This girl is constantly making us laugh and remember to find joy in the little things. 

Enjoying... a day with my parents in town.  We ordered pizza for dinner and played Cards Against Maturity (ohhhh the laughter!) and just really enjoyed each other. Carly's connection especially with my mom is so sweet, and I enjoyed playing pool with my dad. I even won! I always love most when my parents read to my kids.  So I always capture those moments. 

Feeling... so loved and seen by my sister.  She sent a care package with my mom and dad when they came to visit and it meant so much to me.  She found a mug that said, "See the good" with a rainbow on it! I mean, how perfect is that?!?  I have used it every single day to remind myself to look for the positive. Because seeing the negative is just too easy! She also included the sweetest note, cheering me on, and a beautiful lip gloss that I love! 
Thank you Roxanne. I am so lucky to have you! 


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Funny:


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Around Here: Week 8 2022

 {February 20-26th}



Carly did my hair. 
Side Pony. Classic.




















Team Studer Mom







Enjoying... no school Monday and feeling grateful that Josh is such an involved dad.  He and Wyatt played Forza (a car racing game) together and it was so cute. Their laughter and time together made my heart really happy. 

Laughing... as Carly did my hair for the first time. It felt so good to have her brush my hair and I died when I saw the sassy side pony she gave me with her shiny scrunchie. 

Reacting... to my migraine prevention shot (Ajovy) with the biggest, red, swollen, itchy hive ever! Thankfully it only lasted three days, and it's a common side effect, so nothing to worry about. Just annoying!

Chatting... with my girlfriends Kari & Kori on Facetime and loving the time we spend. We talk about everything from the deepest issues (religion, marriage, parenting) to the stupidest ones (how caffeine affects us, what books we're reading) and I always leave those convos smiling and feeling so grateful for them. Love you girls!!

Buying... new basketball shoes for Wyatt and socks for me with money from my parents. (Thanks so much for your support!) 

Attending... Wyatt's basketball game with Carly and freaking out when he got a three pointer! The way he pulled his fist down in celebration was just the cutest. I love him so much!!

Researching... a little more about fibromyalgia, but taking it slow because I don't want to get overwhelmed. The main takeaway for me has been to take a magnesium supplement, which is supposed to help both my muscles and my anxiety.  
If you have fibromyalgia, I would love to know your top three tips for managing it in the comments. Just for a little background- I am taking Duloxetine (for depression, anxiety and fibro) and Gabapentin (to help with RLS, sleep and pain). 

Talking... to my counselor this week and mainly hearing from her that I need to remember to ask "What is mine?" because I have a big heart and I have a tendency to borrow trouble and spiral when I can't fix things. 

Dealing... with snow and cold again (I am pretty over it), but I was happy when Jack got a consequence to shovel the neighbor's driveway and he did such a great job of it. 

Taking... Piper to the vet for her last Parvo shot and feeling excited she only has one more week until she can go out in the world and not risk getting sick. Hooray! The vet said she is small for her size and will be a small adult german shepherd.  I've never heard such good news. Hah! Grady is so darn big, we will be delighted if she's a little girl. 

Reading... Obsessed (oh my gosh so good!It's a biography of a girl who struggled with OCD) and reading Escape from Chernobyl out loud with the boys (also so good!).  

Watching... Love is Blind on Netflix (super trashy, so addicting!) and Dr. Amen who I found on Instagram, and who does these fascinating brain scans on brains that have been exposed to weed, alcohol, meth, or who have traumatic brain injuries or Alzheimer's.  They are absolutely engrossing. 

Sharing... that I've been struggling with how dark and hard and scary life is right now, and getting so much loving feedback from all my friends. My takeaway is that life is a roller coaster, but I have a village behind me, cheering me on, and feeling very much the same way.  We're all in this together, friends. 

Experiencing... horrible anxiety on Saturday and dealing with it by getting busy.  I decided to make the fleece tie blanket my mom bought for me and it was the perfect project.  My favorite anxiety book is Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Claire Weekes and one of my main takeaways from that book is the idea of "occupation"- when your anxiety is taking over your mind, get your hands and body busy doing work.  I find it almost always helps. 

Obsessing... as always, over how Carly plays. Currently she has a little school house set up in the living room, and I just love her little teacher/student set ups and all the projects they do.  Her love of play inspired me to try a really simple activity with her this weekend that I got from Mothercould. I put food color drops into a muffin tray, and covered them with baking soda.  Then I gave Carly a medicine dropper and some vinegar, and she had the best time making the food color show up and fizz.  When she got bored and walked away, each of the boys took a turn making the muffin tins fiz and color.  Such a fun, simple activity!


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Real Talk: Purity Culture

My girl @heytiffanyroe 
is always bringing the truth




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Dr. Amen's Instagram



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