5.22.2011

37 Weeks--

I was 37 weeks- to the day- when I  went into labor with the boys.  I labored at home for about six hours and then decided to head to the hospital. 

Here I am getting an IV with Josh' support from my awesome nurse Dani.

My entire pregnancy I didn't really understand when people would say I looked "so big"... Then I saw the picture below and understood what they meant.  I really was HUGE!

That morning, before we left for the hospital, I had Josh take one last picture of my belly... (June 6, 2008)

Today marks 37 weeks in my pregnancy with Wyatt.  So this morning I had Josh snap another picture, for comparison's sake. (May 22, 2011)

The stretch marks are sad for me. :(
But I am very pleased to have made it to this point.
Wyatt can make his debut whenever he sees fit!

5.21.2011

Nostalgia

 Last night as I was cutting up pineapple & cantelope, and rinsing strawberry after strawberry in preparation for Logan & Jack's third birthday today, I listened to this song, and, as usual, it made me cry. 

  These boys-- they are just such a precious gift.  

 Finding myself near the anniversary of their birth reminds me of this even more than usual.

 I remember being pregnant, laying in bed, just praying, begging, that I would stay pregnant long enough and they would survive. 
Then, before I knew it, they were here, and I had the awesome responsibility of keeping them alive.  And I've done it.
For three years I have fed, held, comforted and rocked these amazing boys. 
How lucky am I?

 And now there are only three weeks left until we welcome a third son into our family. 
I have only a handful of days left being just Logan & Jack's mommmy. 
My, how time flies...

5.18.2011

36 Weeks... A Comparison

{with Wyatt}

 
{with Logan & Jack}

Just Today

Today as I was driving the boys home from my mom's house
with all the windows rolled down,
a thought flew into my mind-
Just enjoy today.
Whatever is happening right now.
The future, as they say, will take care of itself.

So for today I am going to enjoy having Daddy's help at the park.

 

I am going to enjoy the boys' serious focus & determination. 
(Uphill pedaling is more difficult than it looks!)


I am going to enjoy the boys' last few days on their little trikes -
some new BIG BOY bikes are headed their way this weekend for their birthday.

I am going to enjoy the thrill of triumphs both big & small. 
For Jack it was scaling this climbing toy at the park.
For me it was mopping the floor!

 

I am going to enjoy how much Jack looks like Josh from the back.

I am going to enjoy sun-filled outside visits with my mom in her backyard, surrounded by the most delicious smelling lilacs.


I am going to enjoy the sights of spring-
my boys in the back of the Pilot with their windows rolled down, chubby fingers swaying in the breeze;
the sun filtering through my curtains in the kitchen;
and the carefree clouds I see dotting the clear blue skies outside my door.


I am going to enjoy my yard, with its Japanese maple in full bloom, beautiful leaves shading the grass & toys below.


I am going to enjoy flowers blooming where once there were none.


Especially pansies because they always have & always will remind me of my Grandma Pansy, and that makes my heart happy.

 

I am going to enjoy hearing the baby's heartbeat the last few times at my prenatal appointments.  I am going to enjoy Wyatt's raucous movements in my belly, as I know that all too soon he will be in my arms instead of under my heart.  I am going to enjoy feeling adorably pregnant, belly button poking out, and the anticipation of what our third son is going to look like when I am finally able to lay eyes on him.

Just today.
I am going to enjoy just today.


5.16.2011

Little Moments & some rambling...

 There are a million things on my to do list right now. One of which is to take a nap.  (The others? Clean the bathroom, sweep, vacuum, read my birthing book, journal, finish writing addresses in my new address book, make a baby name necklace for a friend...) But I am putting all of that on hold because I would rather spend time blogging and sharing with you the adorable conversations I've been having with my (almost) three year olds lately.  (Well, those, along with a few other nuggets that've been on my mind.)

  {Jack}
First, though, can I just say- he is totally edible in this picture?  Like, shiny little angel face, beautiful blue eyes, silky blond haired perfection, right? 
 -
Yesterday in the car I had my window down because I am pregnant, hormonal and hot at random times.  It was raining a little, so when the boys asked if they could have their windows down, we told them no, even though mine was open.
Jack told me that I should close my window.
I said, "No, thank you."
Then he tuned to look out his own window and mumbled,
"She's being obnoxious."
 -
 Last week I asked the boys to put their water bottles back in the refrigerator so they would be cold.  Instead of putting his in the convenient location on the door of the fridge, Logan was trying to put his in the butter bin with the little door. The door fell off and Logan just ran into the living room to play, leaving Jack with the mess.  Jack says, "Mom, Logan broke the fridge." Then he turns to his brother and says, "Quit being such a spaz master, Logan." 
-
Today Jack has been stuck on the story of how Dallas' car was stolen by a naughty man.  (This happened a few years ago, but my mom said Dallas was talking to the boys about it yesterday. They must have asked why he didn't have a car.)  He kept asking me if we could please go chase the bad guy who took Dallas' car.  He said he wanted to kick that man into the street!  Then he said that man would tie Logan to the tow truck and Logan had to be careful.  I told Jack we don't know where the bad guy is and that the police are looking for him so we don't have to.  This kids' imagination is just off the wall!
-
Fast forward to running errands with him alone this morning (my sister took Logan for a few hours so I could shop with just one little "helper" instead of two) and we stop to use the bathroom.  I am wearing one of my many maternity dresses as I am at that point in my pregnancy where the belly is so big, my maternity pants just fall down constantly.  So I went to the bathroom after him and he's standing there looking at me, struggling to find words.  Finally he goes, "Mom! You're not wearing any pants! You can't not wear pants!"
I tried to explain that it's a dress and it's fine because no one can see my panties, but by the look on his face, I could tell he thought I was full of it.
-

{Logan}
Yesterday Logan asked Josh how his day was, and Josh (having been up with them quite a bit in the night, and having morning wake-up duty) replied sarcastically, "Faaan-tastic."
Then on the way to the car we could hear Logan repeating it to himself, "Faaan-tastic," so adorably.
 -
{ALASKA ON MY MIND}
We discovered this week that Josh has a friend up in Alaska.  One of the girls who graduated with him from the teaching program at WSU spent the last school year teaching in Alakanuk, which is part of the Lower Yukon School District, the same school district that Josh has been hired on to teach in.  
This is exciting for a lot of reasons. One is that he and Jana were good friends at WSU. The other is that next year Jana will also be teaching a 5/6 grade split for the 2011-2012 school year.  And the two will see each other during any in-service or training days, which is super cool.  But what I love the most is that she has a blog! www.janaalaska.blogspot.com.  (Check it out to get an idea of just what Josh and I are getting ourselves into!)  And on top of that, she gave me her e-mail address so I can ask her any questions I have about life up North and what it's like.
-
In addition to reading her blog, I checked out a stack of Alaska books from the library.  I am finding it helpful to read about the history of Alaska and get hints or tips from the experts about what to expect during this adventure.
-
On a less enthusiastic note, there are some things that have just been making me sad about Alaska lately.  The main one is the baby.  Little Wyatt will only know his daddy a few short weeks before going months without contact.  Josh is such an amazing father & husband, I can only imagine how desperately I am going to miss his love, support & help while I am trying to adjust to parenting three wee ones.  Not to mention how much Josh is going to miss out on in terms of Wyatt's development during the five months we're apart.
-
Every time I hear a car  that sounds like Josh's "honda racer" (as he calls it) I tear up, knowing that I will continue to hope it's him coming home, even months after he's left.  Even Jack said in the parking lot today, "I can hear daddy. He's coming."  I told him, no, that daddy was at work and that was someone else's car...
This could be rough.
-
While on my mini-date with Jack we decided to get some donuts & apple juice, just the two of us.  We stopped by Seize the Bagel.  There, at the little cafe, was a group of grandmas & grandpas all drinking coffee, sharing bites of delicious donuts & talking about technology and their inability to use it effectively.  Listening to them laugh and talk about their children & grandchildren literally had me tearing up. They reminded me of my grandparents (Pansy & Jerry, who live at the coast) and their friends and I realized in that moment that I am going to miss my grandparents so much.
-
This is not the first (or even the second) time I have found myself in a restaurant crying about leaving things in Vancouver for Alaska.  A few weeks ago Josh and I were on a date at Red Robin and mid-way through my chicken basket I found myself crying, imagining just how much I am going to miss my mom. 
Then this last Thursday when mom & I were having dinner at Burgerville before heading to Fabric Depot to choose fabric for my oh-so-adorable baby quilt, hospital gown & hooter hider, I found myself crying about esclators, elevators & trains, and how those were things the boys weren't going to have access to once we moved and how much I think they will miss them. (Ridiculous, I know... What can I say? I'm pregnant!)
-
There are positive things about moving to Alaska (a lot, really) that I think of, but I will save those for another post. 

5.15.2011

Fortunes

Tonight after an evening spent at Legacy's Emergency Room with Jack, whose temperature reached 103.5 degrees & was diagnosed with an ear infection, Josh picked up some Panda Express for dinner.

Along with our orange chicken we got two fortune cookies.
The fortunes inside seemed quite appropriate:

"You will never need to worry about a steady income."
(for Josh)

"Modify your thinking to handle new situations."
(for me)


5.13.2011

Life, the boys & nesting

I feel like I have been a blog slacker lately.  I hate that.  But most days I find myself napping when the boys nap, or scarfing my lunch on the couch while watching reruns of Jon & Kate Plus 8.  {I miss them.}
I think I have also been blog slacking because I am just such a jumble of emotions.  Between the pregnancy hormones, the idea of having three children (!!!), and the awareness of days passing & leading us to Josh's inevitable departure- I'm a wreck!
I have high highs- imagining what Wyatt must look like, remembering how sweet it is to have a newborn, wondering what it'll be like to have a singleton; and I have low lows- where Josh holding my hand leads to total meltdown because I think of the days when he won't be here to hold it, hysterical sobbing as I imagine Logan & Jack asking where daddy is and why we can't see him... You get the picture.
So I've kind of been avoiding sorting through my feelings because they are just so erratic.  Instead of blogging, I've just been hanging out with the family.

{Jack}
He was worn out today. We spent the morning looking at pre-schools for the fall, and the afternoon at the school where Josh spent this week subbing.  They enjoyed both the pre-schools & the elementary school. They even brought their backpacks like big kids.  And desperately wanted to ride the school buses this afternoon!

{Logan}
Here Logan is putting on his sunglasses. He will wear them forever. It always impresses me.

The last few days have been so sunny out. We have been taking full advantage, riding bikes & scooters outside, going to the park & just enjoying every cloud free moment!


Along with hanging out with my kids, I've been nesting like mad.  This is Wyatt's "spot" in our bedroom.  My friend Brittany loaned me this adorable bassinet.

My friend Juli made the WYATT banner- I love it!

My nesting has mostly manifested itself in load after load of laundry. 


Swaddlers, washcloths, towels, changing pads, receiving blankets, sheets, burp rags, and all of his clothes.

 

And after the laundry was the folding, sorting & organizing.  It was so fun to see all the little baby clothes, especially the ones that were Logan & Jack's.  Such sweet memories!
~
I am thankful for this little baby to keep me distracted from what is coming up.  Change is hard for me, and I think that's why God keeps putting it in my path.  Someday I will embrace change... and until then I am taking one day at a time!

Raatz Family Baby Shower

Last weekend my mom and sister threw me a baby shower for little Wyatt. It was so much fun, the food was fantastic, and visiting with all my friends & family was a blast.  We didn't take any pictures of me opening presents, but let me assure you, I was thoroughly spoiled by all my loved ones!
We did, however, try & get a picture of me with each & every guest. There are some we missed, so I apologize, but here are the ones we did get!

Fellow blogger and twin mom, Juli, was at the party. She has fraternal twin boys, Mason & Orion, who are six months younger than Logan & Jack.  My mom watches her boys twice a week.  While we were visiting she mentioned how nice it was to actually finish a conversation with me.  We're pretty sure that's never happened before since we usually have four rambunctious boys between the two of us!

My friend Katie was there along with her little one, Addie, whose a year and a half.  Mostly Katie is bummed that I am leaving her for life up North-- Sorry Katie!


{My friend Virginia & I}

{Me & my friend Peggy}

 
{Me & my friend Theresa}

{My Grandma Pansy & I}

 
{Me, my sister Roxanne & our oldest cousin Kris}

 
{Just my Grandpa & Me}

 
{Me & my cousin Alix}

{The Raatz Girls}

 
{Mom & I}

{Me & Aunt Barbara}

{Me, Cousin-in-law Ang, & Cousin Kris}



And the momma...
35 weeks


5.09.2011

Confessions of a Second Pregnancy

I only manage to remember to take my prenatal vitamin four or five times a week.
I do not go to bed early enough, or get enough sleep to support the baby growing in my belly.
I do not drink even half as much water as I did during my first pregnancy.
I have at least one caffeinated soda everyday.
I clean the litter box.
I take Tylenol regularly.
I have used bleach & cleaned the bathroom.
I paint my finger & toenails regularly.
~
I was much more vigilant about my health, 
what I put in my body, 
and what chemicals I was around 
when I was pregnant the first time. 
Now, I am just trying to make it to the finish line!
{4 weeks, 6 days to go}

5.08.2011

Tribute

To the beautiful boys who made me a mother...
 I love you more than words can express.
The delight & joy you bring to me is immeasurable.


{LOGAN}
 You are my sweetheart.

My thinker.

My excitable,

energetic,


 beautiful first born.
And I love you.


{JACK}

You are my adventurous,

 hardworking,

focused,

goofy little boy.
And I love you.


 You boys made this girls' dream of being a mommy come true.
 The icing on that cake?

I get to be a mommy to twins!
Which, while exhausting, is a privilege I am so grateful for.



{WYATT}
Though I was suprised to find you were joining our family,
that doesn't mean you weren't part of the plan all along.
God knew we needed another little Cunningham boy.

{35 weeks}
And in five short weeks,
you will be here, in my arms.
I can't wait to meet you,
sweet little one.


HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!