Around Here: Week 7 2025

 {February 9-15th}

Carly's Snow Angel

Visiting... my sister and bringing Wyatt with me to hang with his cousins. I was so happy to be able to help my sister, watch her kids and see how her village is supporting her. 

Driving... home from Wenatchee a different way because of a horrible bus accident. I was nervous, and Wyatt didn't want me to drive, he wanted to stay at my mom's house, but we managed to get home and I was so proud!

Canceling... my sub job on Monday because Carly was sick. Poor baby.

Dreaming... about a bear and researching what bear dreams mean. Turns out they tend to represent strength, protection and difficulty. I wonder if I deamt about the bear because I want to protect my sister.

Reading... Black Woods, Blue Sky by Eowyn Ivey (same author as The Snow Child). (This may be a large part of why I dreamed about bears. Hah!) It's a slow start, unfortunately, but I'm going to see it through.

Watching... Love Is Blind. I just love that show!!! And spending way too much time on social media. I ended up going into both my Instagram and Facebook settings to set a one hour time limit on each, per day. 

Visiting... my sister again on Wednesday after I dropped Carly off at school (and scooped Jack, who was also having bad anxiety- he says that being with me is best for him when he feels this way. Of course I hate that he's suffering, but I will admit that I am grateful to be a comfort to him) and while there we went on a walk (brrrrr it was COLD!) and loved on baby Sweet P, and even ran to Costco together. It was so good to shop at Costco (so many good deals!) and, per my Costco rule (If you're there, buy the flowers), I bought myself flowers. 

Cleaning... and organizing my bedroom book cart. It looks so good and I am so pleased I did it!

Worrying... about the government messing with the Department of Education, as I already have two children on 504's, and will likely have two more by the time all our ADHD testing is complete. 

Fighting... with the boys about their grades.  They think that they having D's or occasionally F's is okay, but we are demanding A's, B's, and C's. Because of that, they are all grounded until they get their grades up to that standard. We also are requiring that there be no skipping. Parenting, man. It's a lot of work.

Grateful... that Logan has the best girlfriend. Elyssa is so sweet and thoughtful, and it makes me happy for him. For Valentine's Day she got him a bouquet of flowers filled with Matchbox cars, which he and Jack use to decorate their bedroom walls. It was so cute and creative!

Struggling... with politics and fear and anxiety. I hate that we have someone who was not voted into public office controlling so very much that will impact my family. Between expenses growing, health insurance (my kids are on medicaid) being up in the air, as well as the Department of Education & 504's... the stress is beyond what I can manage.

Refining... my yearly goals for 2025. I currently weigh 269 pounds, which is about 80 pounds more than my average/comfortable weight.  COVID + fibromyalgia back in 2020 lead to a rapid weight gain.  My goals include drinking water, no night eating, and moving my body. I want to make changes so that I can feel strong and maybe even lose weight, but most of all, I want to decrease the odds that I end up with dementia and my children end up having to care for me in that way when I'm old. 

Snowing... and making me feel so peaceful inside. It's gorgeous. We got so much snow on Friday that we had a snow day, much to our children's delight! (Josh and I were less thrilled because we had hoped that the kids would go to school and we would get some time at home together since Josh was home from work as his district turns Presidents Day into an extended winter break (five days off), but we ended up enjoying the day, even if the kids were home, too.)

Proud... of Jack for doing odd jobs around the neighborhood. Any time someone posts that they need help on our neighborhood Facebook page, I offer Jack's services up. He has moved furniture, done a dump run, hung Christmas lights and detailed cars. 

Loving... the way that our cats always come up to us excited, especially in the mornings. They love to lay on our clothes as we try to get dressed. So funny.

Getting... sick with a cough and my nose just not working. I always feel so bummed when I get sick, not that I am sick, but that I took my good health for granted beforehand. Haha!

Feeling... loved when Josh brought me some Valentine candy on Saturday, the day after Valentine's. We generally don't buy each other gifts for holidays, but he was so sweet, saying that it's still nice to be thought of. Even if it's just a little treat. 

Shopping... with Jack's girlfriend Cadence at Maurice's, which is where she works, on Saturday. We had so much fun, and she was so kind and encouraging. I ended up finding two pair of jeans as well as quite a few t-shirts and the cutest sweater that I can use for Valentine's Day, but also wear other times of the year. 

Being... spoiled by Cadence always! For Valentine's Day she got me the happiest yellow coffee mug that reminds me of sunshine. So thoughtful!

Reorganizing... my closet after getting new clothes with Cadence. I am now excited to get ready for the day everyday. 

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Art by Anders Zorn

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Sweet Wyatt & his daddy

Giving Life

My name is mom.

Today I feel like a dried fruit

withering in the sun.

Sometimes I am the sun.

Sometimes I am the water.

But always I am the giving. 

I ask the world, "When will you notice me?"

And the answer is, "When you no longer

wither in the sun."

Around Here: Week 6 2025

 {February 2-8th}

Thawing homemade turkey broth for soup

*on repeat*

Attending... Violet's birthday party with Carly at the gymnastics place. She, with her current gymnastic obsession, was delighted to attend. To roll on the mats, walk the balance beam, bounce on the trampoline and jump into the foam pit. 

Taking... Wyatt to his med check with his PCP and feeling both relieved and excited that the meds are working so well. 

Showing... up at Wyatt's school with Wyatt and Josh for his 504 meeting. I felt so thankful for Josh (who took a half day to attend) and so proud of Wyatt (who spoke very eloquently about his ADHD, how it impacts his learning, what accommodations he would find useful. Beyond all of that, though, I found myself weepy with gratitude at the teachers (all but one) who showed up for Wyatt along with his counselor to make sure we were meeting his needs and that he felt heard. His counselor said that he has never had that many teachers show up for a 504 meeting. It meant so much to me (and Josh and Wyatt) that they took time out of their own lives to be there for him. 

Canceling... my multiple Subscribe & Save orders with Amazon and finding other ways to get those items. I went directly to Harry's to get razors sent regularly for the men who live here. I went to Petco for cat and dog food. I looked on Ulta to see if I could get my face lotion there, and Costco for the cleaning supplies I had sent. It feels so good to be doing what I can. 

Following... multiple political accounts so I can stay in the know. My favorites are @sharonsaysso and @underthedesknews and @_stillwerise and a special shoutout to @kindminds_smarthearts for sharing a mix of ADHD & political things.

Learning... after a final meeting with his psychiatrist that Logan does indeed have ADHD, combined type. This means he has inattentive type (which is what Wyatt has), but he also has hyperactive type (which is more rare). We are waiting on an appointment with his neurologist to try any new medications (since he had that seizure on New Year's Eve, we don't want to risk anything) but he is open to trying ADHD meds, which I think will change his life. 

Discovering... via some research I was doing on ADHD that people with ADHD are more prone to epilepsy, which I find fascinating because we think Josh also has ADHD, and he too has epilepsy. It makes me wonder which comes first: the seizures? or the epilepsy?

Subbing... in my favorite kindergarten class and in a first grade class (on the 100th day of school! How fun!) and in third grade (which was a bit harder as they were a chatty class!) and finally in another kindergarten class for the half day on Friday. I found this week that subbing was really difficult. And I found myself longing for a classroom of my own. So I wallowed a bit, cried a few tears, complained to Josh and then mentally reset. Subbing has been hard. Why? How can I fix it? Or at least, how can I improve it? 

Deciding... that I need to have some better classroom management and an introduction on days I sub. First I am going to make sure that I take a moment to introduce myself and write my name on the board. This seems obvious, but I have been in a lot of these classes multiple times and have worked with many of these kids for four years. So I wasn't always doing an introduction. But I think that's a mistake because introducing myself (and my expectations!) will better set us up for success. Part of my introduction will include telling the students that I LOVE listening. I love when they listen, when they look at me, and when they follow directions. I will also introduce them to my favorite way of getting attention, which is using the clap system. I clap 5x CLAP {rest} CLAP {rest} CLAP CLAP CLAP, and then students are to clap back the same way, and put eyes on me. This saves my voice, and is loud enough to get their attention, even if they have headphones on while they're on their computers. 
In addition to introducing myself and my favorite attention-getter, I will go over the schedule, including ways and times they can earn things (like more recess, free time, choice time on their computers, or choosing who to work with during group work). And finally, I will show them that I have Gator Tracks (a reward system the school uses) as well as Skittles that I will pass out with wild abandon when I see kids doing what they're supposed to. 
Also during my introduction, I will take that opportunity to share about my kids, my pets and my hobbies, as a way of connecting with the students. They will also be given time to share with me about their families, pets and hobbies. Connection really is the key to student behavior and redirection, so making sure that we are learning about each other will really help.

Sharing... what brings me joy. With my feeling a little down this week, I think it's important to remember what can give me a little "pick me up". 

• Going outside
• Good light
• Sunrise/Sunset/Clouds
• Snuggles
• Backrubs
• Reading- to myself or others
• Hugging the dogs
• Petting the cats
• Listening to music
• Singing
• Talking with Josh
• Kayaking
• Swimming
• Spending time with friends
• Blogging
• Taking photographs
• Saying "yes" to the kids
• Being ready for the day {*feeling pretty*}
• Sorting/Organizing

Visiting... the orthodontist with Carly to get her bottom braces put on. It went pretty fast, but she was immediately in a lot of pain, and spent the afternoon that I was subbing in the class I was in with me. Thankfully it was fine that she was in there, and I was glad I could be there for her, but I felt terrible she was in so much pain. 

Entertained... by Carly putting her puppy-baby in my childhood play high chair and pulling her up to the table for dinner. Carly even requested real soup for the puppy, which I happily obliged. I know that before I know it she will be done with toys and imagination (just like her brothers before her) so I am cherishing every moment while I can.

Finishing... Josh's dental work with a final appointment that was blessedly super quick. I feel bad that this was such an ordeal- I think that was his fourth appointment for this stupid tooth- but I am so glad it's done. 

Loving... Logan's fresh haircut. He's needed one for a while, but he doesn't love the haircuts I give (which is totally fair- I have no training!) and last time he went to a place he wasn't pleased. But he worked up the courage to try another guy, and he did amazing. Logan (and Josh and I) are so pleased with how it turned out. Woohoo!

Logging... in for therapy and feeling (as I always am) so grateful for Dr. Hunter. She reminded me that even though I *think* I want to disengage when people in my house are disagreeing, that's not who I am, and being engaged is what makes our family so good. She said instead to consider how I want to exert my influence onto those who are disagreeing. She also reminds me of ways that men and women are different which helps me better understand where Josh is coming from in his parenting. (Our number one disagreement is in parenting. I think he's too harsh, and he thinks I'm too soft. This is probably good, as it forces us to meet in the middle, but it also requires a lot of hard conversations and negotiating, and I am tired.)  She also commended us having dinner together (nearly) every night. She said it's linked to lower teen pregnancy rates, less truancy, better academics and improved sense of belonging. Then, and I swear she really said this, she told me that I get therapy gold stars for doing such a good job, and reminded me that doing a good job does not always equal feeling good. And damn if that ain't the truth.

Reading... The House on Mango Street on audio, and The Colors of the Dark in my hand. The Colors of the Dark is a book lots of people are raving about, but it's pretty dark and sad, to be honest. So was The House on Mango Street. I need something bright after this!

Helping... my sister as she is struggling with anxiety. I hate so much that she has it- I would take it from her if I could- but at least I have also experienced it, so I can pull from my toolbox to help her get through it. Since I lived in Alaska and had the worst anxiety of my life, I have always turned to one book when I am struggling. That book is Hope and Help For Your Nerves by Claire Weekes. Roxanne and I call her "Grandma Claire" because the book is somewhat old fashioned, but the advice is spot on. If you struggle with anxiety, I highly recommend purchasing the book. 

Journaling... and trying to be more consistent. If nothing else, I am trying to make sure each big event in our lives is recorded, along with my accompanying feelings. Maybe by summer I'll be journaling daily. 

Meditating... on the saying that "How you do anything is how you do everything".  If I am moving slow and able to savor my food or the company of my loved ones, then maybe I am able to move slow and savor even the hard parts of life. 

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