*my life*

Change. A few of you out there know me well enough to know how I feel about change.
I. don't. like. it.
Case in point: I chose to get pregnant back in 2007, was successful, then spent six weeks crying because I was pregnant. I was afraid {and rightfully so} that it would change our relationship. It did. But we've managed to let it improve our relationship, not take away from it.
But I digress.
Change is here.

{Jack & Logan- ready to go to Nanny's}
Monday I headed back to work & Josh began his full time student internship/student teaching. This means I am on my own in the mornings with the boys. I woke up at 6 (most mornings) this week to get myself ready, get the house ready, prep our lunches, set out what we needed for dinner, do laundry and eventually wake, feed & dress the boys. And then yesterday and today I had to then load the boys (by myself!) and drive them to my mom's house. Ugh.

{Logan}
Tonight Josh asked me if I would rather have him home in the mornings (How it was from September through December) or the evenings (How it is now.) And I had to tell him that honestly, I preferred his help in the mornings. I have a hard time getting to bed on time at night, falling asleep without panic attacks, and sleeping through the night (thanks to my light sleeping and the boys), so waking up on time in the morning is hard. That, and I am used to having my evenings to myself. I have had that for FOUR years! So having him home, while helpful, has been (and will be) an adjustment.

The boys, however, love it! Daddy plays with them, reads to them and gives them fun, splashy baths.

I know I will love it, too, once I get used to it. This first week has just been a trial run, really. Only one more day to go, and then the weekend!

I just want to be home with the boys, with no agenda, no schedule & NO ALARM CLOCK! That is what I'll be dreaming of tonight!
-
I know that it will be worth all the 6am wake ups when one day Josh has a job that allows me to stay home with our beautiful children, but this morning when that alarm went off, I was not thinking of the future payoff. I was thinking about the 397 things I had to do & how warm and tempting staying in bed sounded!
:)