Parenthood

Okay, so has anyone else (besides my beloved sister) been missing NBC's show Parenthood? I loved that show.  It reminded me that someday my boys will be grown ups, and that the struggles in the meantime will be funny then.

I was reading Good Housekeeping (Thank you, Julie for the subscription!) and there is an article in there about Emma Thompson & Maggie Gyllenhaal (who are apparently best friends).  In it, they talk about parenting, and working, and marriage, and basically life in general. And something in it struck me. Really got me thinking.

Emma (who is 51 and has a great perspective) said, "I don't want your readers to think they have to have it all.  I think that's a revolting concept. It's so false! Sometimes you'll have some things, and sometimes you'll have other things. And you do not need it all at once; it's not good for you." 

I believe she is quite right. And just knowing that I don't have to have it all; that  no one really does have it all, helps.  I have been feeling like if I have a clean house, and am being a good mommy, I'm not really spending enough time with Josh. Or if I am taking time for myself and spending time with friends, then I am not being the mom I want to be. I never feel that I have everything "just right."  Now I have freedom to just enjoy what I do have.  The other stuff will come.

 Yesterday we went to dinner at Josh's parents house. (Carl cooked ribs- yum!) We talked about the boys, the lack of sleep... just parenting, really. And I told Carl about the advice people had given me about the boys' sleep issues, and he told me that taking advice is hard because his priorities aren't my priorities, and other peoples' priorities aren't my priorities. Only I know what my priorities are. 

I really thought about it and, you know, he's right. Here I've been asking for advice about the boys' sleep issues, and I've been scouring the internet and my "It's A Boy- Complete Guide to Raising Sons" for "the answer", when really only Josh & I know what our boys need. We are their parents. We know who they are, what bothers them, what makes them happy.  I just need to learn to trust myself.  To trust us.

 So Josh and I did some brainstorming and decided to work on a more balanced diet (with less chocolate- hello caffeine!) and limit the boys' television viewing.  And after one day, what do you know? They slept through the night. (Well, Logan woke up twice around 10pm, but Josh was still up, so it was no big deal.)  I guess we do know what we're doing!  Hey, the binky/balloon thing turned out alright, didn't it?

 And if we don't know what we're doing, and every once in a while we screw it up and life gets tough, Josh's sister Laura reminded me of something that helps me feel a little better. She said, "Everyone I talk to say that it's the hardest thing they have ever done. EVER."  And she's right. Parenting is not for the weak. And doing parenting right, well, it's exhausting.  But Josh's mom said, "You love them. And that is enough."  She's right.  I do love them. And that is enough.