I can't decide what to do.
Let me back up...
Yesterday I was on a bike ride with Josh & the boys.
Normally Josh takes the lead.
Somehow it ended up that I was in the lead.
And it made me incredibly uncomfortable.
Was I going too slow?
Too fast?
Do I speed through that yellow light?
Or stop?
Should I turn here?
Or at the next one?
While these thoughts raced through my mind, it got me thinking about my life...
Do I quit my job?
Do I keep working?
Do I make this choice?
Or wait and make that one?
Do I take a leap of faith or keep my head on straight for my childrens' sake?
Not only do I not want take the lead on our family bike rides,
I don't want to take the lead in my own life.
I want someone else whom I can follow.
I want someone else to take the lead, to make the choices, and to take the blame if all goes awry.
So I wait.
We wait.
For answers. For a job. For a decision.
I love your honesty!
ReplyDeleteWhen Blake was in the USMC I learned that no matter where we were, we were the happiest together. Even if made absolutely no sense to anyone else for me to spend my savings on a plane ticket (5 times), quit my job early and stay in a hotel for a month, and get out of the military while I was 8 months pregnant (financially and insurance-wise this was probably not the "responsible" decision). But you know what? All those things made me HAPPY. And when you're happy, everything else falls in line.
Shelly I want you to follow your heart. Don't worry about a plan, the bills, or anything except your happiness. (I know it's easier said than done, but trust me, when you do it, and you know it's right, it feels amazing.)