Alaska Airlines

Josh bought his plane tickets today after recieving our approval letter for an Alaska Airlines Visa Card.  We were excited to be approved because now every time we fly to or from Alaska we will be building miles towards free or reduced price fares. 

He will depart Sunday August 7th for Anchorage, spend a week there doing training and getting supplies for the village, and then on Saturday August 13th he will leave Anchorage, headed for Bethel.  In Bethel he will have a few hours of layover and then take the half hour flight to Marshall.

It's starting to get real.  I am beginning to imagine life here without him.  Dinner without Daddy, bath time without Daddy, bedtime without Daddy... I cry randomly. Just feel the feeling and let myself move on. It's hard, but it's the best way to work through my emotions. 

When I first got pregnant with Wyatt, I was so surprised, I didn't know what God had in mind.  Now I think that he is giving me Wyatt to keep me busy & distracted so that our time apart flies by.  At least that is what I am praying.

I came across a quote the other day that I am clinging to:

"Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn't know you had,

and dealing with fears you didn't know exited."

-L. Wooten

This is what everyone tells me- that I will find within myself the strength to be both mother & father to our boys while Josh is gone.  I am also working to keep in mind that being a stay-at-home mom is something I yearned for when I was working, and at this point in our lives, for that dream of mine to come true, it means Josh living & working somewhere else for a bit.

There is another inspirational quote I came across that I am sure God put in my path. 

This one I love:

"Find a way to say yes to things. Say yes to invitations to meet new friends, say yes to learn something new.  Yes is how you get your first job, and your next job, and your spouse, and even your kids.  Even if it's a bit edgy, a bit out of your comfort zone, saying yes means that you will do something new, meet someone new, and make a difference.  Yes lets you stand out in the crowd."

-Eric Schmidt

It makes what we're doing feel brave. Courageous. Inspirational.

When what I really feel is unsure. Anxious. Terrified.

Knowing that in this economy we have no choice helps me a bit.  We have (or will soon) three children to raise.  A family to support. And dreams to aspire to.  Amazing teachers we know here in Washington state who have years of experience are getting laid off. There is no way that Josh (with a mere year of subbing under his belt) was going to find work here.  This is our adventure. It's what was meant to be.

Knowing that Josh would do anything to support my dreams also helps.  He has always been supportive of my wanting to be home raising our children.  In February when we were faced with some tough decision making, he took a risk, knowing that even if money was tight I would be happy, I would be where I felt I belonged.  And he took that leap with me.

I recently saw Margaret,  Josh's former boss, when I went to visit him with the boys during a sub job.  I have known Margaret since I was in elementary school and she was my principal.  Upon laying eyes on me, she bowed down to me, saying, "I bow down to you. You must really love him."  I was cracking up, but it made me feel good about what we are doing.  Josh is willing to go anywhere in order to earn a living and support his family, and I am willing to follow him (to the ends of the earth, literally) so that he may fulfill his dream of having a classroom of his own.  It's a beautiful thing.

I am also looking forward to bringing it back to basics.  My life in Marshall will consist of cooking, cleaning (house & laundry) and childcare.  I won't have any errands to run. I won't have any parties to attend.  I will have nothing but uninterrupted time with my family.  And while I think it will take a long time to adjust to that, to the simplicity of my new life, I think my family will benefit. Specifically the kids.  The only thing I am dreading no matter what positive spin I put on it, is the fact that there will be no dishwasher in my house in Marshall. {frowny face}