Nope, not the kids...
Me.
I'm whiny.
And I guess since I am just two days shy of 40 weeks pregnant,
suffering from a sinus infection,
not sleeping,
with an aching back,
and a set of three-year-olds to chase around-
I'm entitled.
I woke up at 3:30am this morning,
and never really fell back asleep.
Logan was up at 5:30am
and Jack was up at 6:30am.
I am super hungry all the time, but can't truly eat enough to feel full because Wyatt is taking up the space my stomach used to occupy. I can't bend over because coming back up is always iffy, and I think falling down at this point would be a bad idea. Getting off the couch or out of bed to pee is growing tiresome and more difficult as each day passes. And I am so emotional. I could cry or fly into a violent rage at any given moment.
Last night it was more of a crying kind of night. I lay in bed (by myself, since Josh has taken to sleeping on the couch thanks to my "epic" snoring) trying to shut my mind off, but I couldn't stop thinking that in less than two months, I am going to be falling asleep in that big bed alone every night. And I am not going to get to touch, hug or smell my husband for weeks and weeks on end. I am going to have to find within me the strength to raise our three young sons by myself when that is never what we planned. This is not what we intended.
I am attempting to strike a balance between enjoying our time together and preparing myself mentally for what is to come. Some days it is more difficult than others.
Today is more of a rage day. I told Jack if he spilled my water bottle (they love to drink out of it and leave chunks of whatever they are eating behind) I would have to put him outside. Not sure where that came from. And if I have to hear any more bumping music from the thugs in this ever-living neighborhood, I am going to lose my very mind.
So there you have it.
"Rational Shelly" (insert sarcastic tone here) feeling a bit sorry for herself on this gray Friday afternoon.
I am going to try & drown my sorrows in some ice cream.
Perhaps it will help.
Oh sweetheart, Wyatt will be here soon, that is why all of your emotions are all over the place. I will pray for a safe, speedy, painless delivery.
ReplyDeleteAs for when Josh leaves to Alaska. Get three of his already warn shirts, shirts that have his smell, place them in those resealable bags and store them, this way you and the boys can smell him when he is gone and reseal it in the morning, this way Wyatt will get use to his scent as well.
I would do the same for Josh to take with him. By the time the scents are gone you will all be together again.
Love to you all
Oh Shelly, I loved this post! Not in the way I love that your whiney but it gave me a good little laugh. You are SO entitled to have a whiney day! Throw yourself a pity party if you want to! It helps! Sometimes I say things to the girls and have no idea where I thought of it or why I said it. Pure frustration and analness. Somedays I could care less about the chunks in my water bottle or the crumbs on my floor when I let them eat in the living room and other days it could drive me bonkers. Just take each day as it comes and wake up in the morning and demand that it will be a good day! Some days will be better then others but you are strong and you can do it! Everyone has their crazy days! 1 child or 3. Just know that you will have 3 beautiful busy little boys to help the time pass. Some days might get discouraging but just know for each struggle that comes will lead you to something bigger and better! You were chosen to be the mother and wife you are. Keep doing the great job you are Shelly! I hope you enjoyed that ice cream!
ReplyDeleteAt this point of pregnancy, if you get through the day and both your children are still alive, you get a medal:)
ReplyDelete