"Lessons from a Zen Mommy" -PARENTS magazine

The author, Bethany Saltman, & her husband were once Zen Buddhists who lived in a monastery for a time before having children.  Reading that, I was totally turned off.  It seemed so "holier than thou", but I have been desperate since bringing Wyatt home to get some quality peaceful time with my boys.  I always feel so frazzled with them & by them.  Turns out, her advice was spot on.


Here's a summary:

1. Do what you're doing while your doing it

Stop multi-tasking.

This was super hard advice for me to consider.  I am the queen of multi-tasking, let me tell you.  But I've been trying it the last few days, and it makes such a difference in my state of mind.  She says that doing what you're doing while you're doing it will make you happier and I think she's right.

2. Leave no trace

Here she says that your home is a reflection of what's going on in your mind. I find this to be so true. She says that while you don't want to stress about having a spotless home (hello! You have small children!) you do want to have a place that doesn't add extra stress. She also suggests you start teaching your children from a young age how to help you with this. (ie "Before we play Candyland, let's clean up your puzzle.")

3. Take just the right amount

Which means, don't acquire so much stuff!

This was particularly good for me to read because up in Alaska our storage is going to be limited, not to mention the fact that shipping everything to ourselves up there in the middle of nowhere is going to be expensive. So I am going to have to learn to choose carefully. She also suggests teaching your child to go through their things to donate to Goodwill when it just gets to be too much.

4. Practice patience

Don't beat yourself up over things

She says to remember that the journey is the goal.  Our kids are always changing, so we are constant rookies and we will make mistakes.  She often gives her daughter a chance to "try again" when she does something wrong.  This reinforces doing things right, but doesn't make her daughter feel awful for goofing up.  

5. Develop rituals

She uses rituals as a way to communicate her goals to her daughter & help her daughter to make daily goals.  Rituals are huge with the twins, and I am looking forward to making even more when we are going it alone. 
 

6. Count your blessings

This is something that I was recently reminded of and it has a huge impact on my daily life.  If I am in a funk, stopping to look around at what I have to be grateful for can snap me right out of it.  Babyham Blessings is where I go to write my many blessings down.  It's wonderful to look back on them, and feels good to stop & reflect. 

7. Remember to breathe

The last few days this one has been big for me.  When I feel my emotions running rampant, and the boys are acting up, my natural tendency is to yell. Mean & loud.  And that is NOT the kind of mommy I want to be. Stopping to breathe in and then out has saved me from a lot of mommy guilt. 

I am so grateful this magazine showed up when it did. 

This article was a good reminder of some great parenting techniques.