September

Normally I am a "savor the summer" kind of girl, so it's strange for me to have been looking forward to fall this year.  When August was over, I felt a collective breath being released.  A lightening of my emotional load.  Josh left a month ago yesterday.  August is done. He's gone, and with September here, I can say (if housing is complete on time) that I will see him next month.  That sounds so soon, right? "Oh, my husband? Yeah, I'll see him next month." (Like, no big deal...)

{First Day of Preschool}

 I have participated in "Back to School" every September since I was five years old.  Starting with Mrs. Boyle in kindergarten at Marrion Elementary, all the way through sixth grade where I got my period & my first kiss. (From a boy also named Josh, but not the same one I kiss now.) 

{Logan}

 Then I started Junior High at Wy'East, where I joined Concert Choir & tried being friends with the "alternative" kids, even though everyone who has ever met me in my life knows my blood runs preppy.  

{Jack}

By High School, which started in 10th grade back then, I knew pretty well who I was.  I attended Mountain View, went to youth group, had a good group of girlfriends and soon got my first car- a 1970 red Volvo station wagon.

{Jack told me "I very, very like school."}

 Then it was off to Clark College, here in town, for my general AA degree.  Got engaged, graduated & married all by the time I was 20.

{Logan said, "My favorite part was playing!"}

 Washington State University (the Vancouver campus) was the university of choice for me, and it was there I majored in psychology & minored in human development.  It was also there that I met Lynnette, Kristy, Melissa & Amber- all of whom had no children then.
Fall of 2005 brought my last semester there, and I will say it was bittersweet.  I have always loved being a student, loved buying school supplies, and (nerdily enough) loved studying.  I love the feeling of a completed project and the organization of a good outline.  

{Mommy & her big boys!}

 Within a month of completing my degree, I had been hired on by the Vancouver School District to work as a staff assistant in one of their elementary school behavior disorder classrooms.  There I met a boy who captured my heart.  A student who was more resilient than any adult I know, and who I still find myself thinking about, five years later.  I wonder how he is, if his home life has improved, and if he's getting from education what he needs to be a successful young man.  I pray he is.  And I'm thinking of him this school year.

{Headed to their class in the Sunshine room!}

 Two years into my gig at the Vancouver School District, I found myself pregnant, with twins, and then on maternity leave.  When I went back to work after Logan & Jack were born, it was to a different position, one in the Life Skills classroom with special needs students.  It broke my heart (as those of you who've followed me forever know) to leave my boys, but I really did love my students.  Three years of leaving my boys to go to work each fall, after a summer home with them, made me cry when I flipped the calendar months in my kitchen.  I would hyperventilate a little bit as each week in August snuck past.

{Watching the other students settle in}

This year, it's different.  This year, I am home.  This year, my husband got to have his first day of school, as a teacher.  This year, my sons got to have their first day of school, as students. And this year, I got to have my first day of school, as a parent, as a mother (a stay-at-home-mother!) and as a wife. Not as a student or an employee.  And after 23 years of starting school in September- I feel free!  I am so blessed to be able to spend my moments with my children.  All my moments.  I no longer feel torn the way I used to.  I no longer wake up with a lump in my throat.  I no longer envy the women around me who were able to stay home with their babies.

{The boys got right to work}

I am so grateful to my husband for choosing to teach in Alaska. Yes, it was to follow his dream, but it was also so that I could follow mine.  And his willingness to sacrifice for our family means the world to me.

 

{When it was time they kissed me with a smile & said good-bye.}

So cheers to everyone who has gone "Back to School" this year.  

And cheers to Josh for making it so I don't have to.