In Anchorage with my love

 I just got back from the trip of a lifetime.  To see my sweetheart after ten long weeks apart was awesome. Wyatt was a fantastic traveler, thank God, and people were all very friendly & helpful, which was great.  When we arrived in Anchorage, I followed the signs to baggage pick up where we were supposed to meet.  Just as I was making a beeline for the elevator, out of the corner of my eye I saw Josh flying up the escalator, two steps at a time, towards me.  My first thought was that he looked like a man. Like a grown up man. Familiar, but a stranger at the same time.

 We embraced, and as we did, I breathed him in.  Oh, he smelled sooo good. I just sobbed. Buried my face in his soft black fleece & bawled.  I had forgotten how good it felt to be in his arms. I had forgotten how safe he makes me feel, and how much he naturally does for me to make my life easier. (Like opening doors for me, carrying the heavier loads & jumping in with the baby without my having to ask.)

 We held hands as we went to get my luggage and walked out to the car. The weather was clear, but COLD! (36 degrees, to be exact.) Then in the car we exchanged traveling stories & headed to the hotel to get settled. 

It felt so good to see his face.  I had gotten used to only hearing his voice. I probably stared at him for 90% of the trip, just taking him in!  And he did the same with Wyatt. Oh, how he loves that boy. (But that's for another post...)

 We did some sight seeing. Mostly what we could squeeze in between the items on our to-do list.  We got Josh's doctor appointment & prescriptions taken care of. We bought & shipped some things to our new home in Marshall. We got my Alaska ID. We ordered plane tickets for Josh's arrival at PDX in December as well as our family tickets for our departure from PDX in January.

 Josh thoroughly enjoyed eating out after months in a village with no restaurants, and I enjoyed the time without our energetic little chatter boxes.  We watched cable TV, surfed the internet and talked endlessly about our current lives apart and what's to come in our lives together.

On the plane flying in, as soon as I could see the snow capped mountains of Alaska, I started to realize that I am actually going to move here. That I am going to uproot my family and make this change.  And as much as it scares me to make this move, to accept this change, I am also enthralled.  I can't wait to be with Josh, to have dinner together each night, and to finally get this show on the road.

 I cried a little while I was there, in Anchorage. I cried for my mom, whom I will miss, and for the boys, because this change will be so drastic for them.  But being with Josh renewed my belief in our ability to make good decisions.  We are all the boys need to be happy & healthy.  We made this choice for our family. So that Josh can provide for us, and I can be home where I need to be.  

Buying our plane tickets & figuring out the logistics of family travel together was also good for us. It makes this all very real, and also makes me feel like we can do it.

 Now that I'm home, it feels like the trip went way too fast, and I have wondered if it was a good thing or not. I miss him now. I miss him so much.  Whereas before my trip, I had gotten used to his absence.  

Then I think of how it felt to hold his hand, to have him kiss me, to watch him hold our baby boy, and I know the trip was a very good thing.  Even if it makes the hurting sting a little worse now.  I am so grateful we had those few days, just us & the baby, to reconnect, laugh together & make some memories.

Now the countdown is on. Less than ten weeks and we'll be together as a family, celebrating the holidays. Then just after the new year we'll be flying our boys out to Marshall to start our new life together. I can't wait.