whats on my mind + sledding + recent inspiration

This week we had some gorgeous days.

Two afternoons in a row, we had 28 degrees & sunshine.

 So naturally, we went sledding!

 The big boys can do it completely independently, which is awesome!

 And this time even Wyatt got in on the fun!

 He would hike up the hill in the sunshine and his brothers, dad or I would take his sled.

Then down he'd go, squealing.

 He went once with Jack, too.

 It was such a great way to spend a few afternoons.

 It felt so great to be out in the sunlight.

---

 The past two days for me have been really good days. And I'm so grateful.  Everyday I woke up this week facing my anxiety head on.  Thursday I "met" (we speak on the phone) with my counselor, and he is just amazing.

 He helped me this week looking at my dreams in a new light. I tend to wake up from bad dreams and it starts my days off on the wrong foot.  Now instead of thinking my bad dreams are fortune telling, I am trying to see what my dreams are showing me about what scares me.  What am I worrying about?  

Then my job is to address the concern, and let it go.

In the last two weeks I have dreamed:

That I had cancer

That Josh died

That I was in an airport that was going to get bombed

That I was pregnant with triplets

Pretty intense.

 In addition to changing my perspective of my dreams, I am also focusing very much on gratitude.  Every morning I am writing down three things I'm grateful for, and every evening I am writing down one happy memory of the day.  

My doctor has me on a Vitamin D treatment course to increase my levels which were low when she tested my blood back in January.  I am anxious to see if that will make a difference.

 Happy music, plenty of sleep & exercise are also helping.

 As is getting outside, talking with friends, and staying in the moment with my kids.

 Reading to the three of them at naptime is a new favorite past time.  The boys love to snuggle with me on the couch in my bedroom. Then the twins do silent reading while I rock Wyatt to sleep for his nap.

School is also going swimmingly.  We are four weeks into  our routine, and the boys' reading is amazing!  We are on Lesson 67 of our 100 Lesson book, and everyday they're sounding out new words.

Wyatt has adjusted to playing independently while we work, and we are all enjoying our morning routine of cartoons, followed by school, followed by lunch.

 During nap time I am trying to spend focused time with the twins, expanding on what we learned during school and just bonding together.

Afternoons are spent playing, doing crafts or getting out if the weather allows.

Personally I am doing a lot of organizing to celebrate the new year-- sorting through drawers, clothes and the like.  I am hoping to do more of it as I continue to feel better. 

 Right now just getting through the day with laundry going, dishes done and children fed feels like a small miracle. So I'm being gentle with myself.  But it's exciting to think that the better/happier I feel, the more energy I have.  And the more energy I have, the more I can get done.

 I finished A Week in Winter by Maeve Binchy.  It wasn't a fabulous book.  It was alright.  I am super excited to start the next few in my pile.  

Namely:

Me Before You by JoJo Moyes

Happier at Home by Gretchen Rubin

Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn

 I also have a huge stack of magazines I'm hoping to get to.  And I'd like to work next week on some correspondence with my poor, neglected pen pals!

 In this season of motherhood, I am finding that I have to be very particular about where I spend my bits of free time.  For me the priority right now is pleasure reading and blogging. Which means house cleaning and the like are on hold.

Thankfully my husband is completely understanding about this, and doesn't mind if I blog instead of scrubbing toilets. I think we both know that this time will soon pass and we'll not be so bogged down in parenting and sleeplessness.

 Wyatt's been sleeping through the night like a champ, but that Logan of mine. He's up and in my room two or three times a night. I've tried bribing, threatening... anything & everything. Nothing seems to work. So now my approach is to spend plenty of time with him during his waking hours, talking about everything on his mind so he feels loved and cared for, and doesn't feel the need to seek me out in the midnight hour.

So far it's not changing things, but I have a good feeling that it will soon.

---

 Josh is off Monday, so I have asked him to please plan an activity with the boys so I can have a few hours to clean the house. Doing it without him around is just a nuisance, so I want to take advantage of his time at home and start the week with a clean slate, so to speak!

I can't wait to have sparkling toilets and toothpaste-free sinks!

Even if it does only last one day!

---

 Other than the mundane dealings of my own life as a stay-at-home mom homeschooling while struggling with anxiety, I have been continually thinking of this article since I read it.  It is heartbreaking and accurate and makes me wish I could snap my fingers and change some of those shocking statistics.

Nunam Iqua is another village in the Lower Yukon School District (LYSD) and one of 75 villages in rural Alaska that has no police force.  Marshall is one of those villages, so many of the facts presented in the article are true where we live as well.

---

 I am being inspired by these posts:

This one about "lingering"

This one about "real life" as a mom of littles

This one about the passage of time

This one about living simply, even in your closet

And this one about what life looks like as a stay-at-home-mumma

---

 Well, it's Saturday night,

so that means I have three little boys in jammies waiting for family movie night to start.

And I wouldn't miss it for the world.

So I will bid you adieu my sweet blog reading friends.

And I will wish for you a happy, restful weekend.

*

One final thought:

"Life shrinks or expands

in proportion to one's courage."

-Anais Nin