You & Me

Love is absolutely real.  I know love is real because I have felt it every day for the last twelve years with this man by my side.  Today is our wedding anniversary.  In twelve years we've seen each other through some hard times-- car accidents,  illness,  poverty,  college courses that kicked our butts, the birth of our twins and our singleton, (the raising of said twins and singleton!!!), living apart for six months and then (finally!) living together in rural Alaska, which provided challenges all its own.

We have laughed and cried together, been overjoyed and frustrated together.  But through it all, good and bad, stressful and hilarious, we've been just that: together.

We are a week away from things changing.  A week away from doing things apart.  2,500 miles apart.  I am dreading it. I've done it before, so I know I can raise these three boys without him, but oh how my heart aches for those guys to miss their daddy.  Not to mention myself.  I haven't worn makeup in four days because I just keep crying.

Imagining saying goodbye at the airport. Imagining him getting home to our house in Alaska and us not being there.  Imagining him falling asleep alone in our bed instead of next to me.

In twelve years of marriage Josh has shown me countless ways he loves me.  But my favorites are the simple ones-- folding the laundry for me, primary colored love messages left in the shower with Wyatt's foam alphabet, and most of all, letting me sleep in.  I'm so thankful he speaks my love language. ;)

Beyond his sweet gestures, he lets me be me.  He lets me cry when I need to for no reason.  He lets me tell him where to hang things, change my mind, and make him do it again.  He assuages my parenting guilt when I've had a hard day being a mom, and he knows how to make me smile.  Because of all this, I will miss him.  I will miss him desperately when he leaves.

Here's to enjoying the light while it's still here.

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