Baby Girl

When I found out I was pregnant (again... for the fifth time in my life, third time since having Wyatt) I believed it immediately.  However, when I found it was a girl, there was a bit of disbelief.  Wyatt struggled with believing a baby was really in there the whole time, and watching him slowly come to acceptance was beyond precious.  

 He drew this picture of "the baby in your belly" when we were about a week into school this year. 

The twins never struggled with the thought of another baby. They were ecstatic.  Like me, they wanted a girl, but like me, all they really wanted was a healthy baby.  They still ask me, probably once a week, if I think this baby is going to die.  It makes me sad that they know that's a possibility, but I was so worried about miscarrying again, that I felt it necessary to prepare them for that. 

Josh immediately accepted that it was a girl and announced it the next morning at work.  When he sent me a text message with this picture of the sign he posted in the office at school, I cried like a baby.  I just love him so much and I am so excited that he's excited. 

 It took a few weeks for me to venture into the girls section of the store.  I had convinced myself (after seven years of raising boys) that I didn't really like all that precious pink anyway.  

I lied to myself.

I love it.

Then I found this outfit... With apples? Seriously? 

I had to have it. 

I mean, her dad's a teacher!

Along with accepting that she is a girl (I'm so excited now I can hardly stand it!) I've been growing in size, and it's bringing me such joy.  After losing two pregnancies, hitting the six month mark today feels, well, surreal.  

24 weeks was a huge milestone in my twin pregnancy, so it's always stuck out in my mind as really important and celebration worthy.  This baby, at 24 weeks, has a 50/50 chance outside the womb.  I guess it's sort of "glass half full", but it makes me excited that she could potentially survive.  Every week I get past this is just another week of growth for her.  And that is awesome.

Seeing that our three boys look just like Josh makes me wonder if our little girl will look just like me.  So at my sister's urging, I searched through my mom's photo albums and found some favorites of me when I was little.

My cousin Kimmy and I were born eleven days apart (ten and a half, if you ask her) and were raised as twins, sharing birthdays, outfits and more sleepovers than you could count.  

On the table there, you can see my favorite pillow.  I still have it, although it is not nearly as plush and the material is now see-through.

As most of you know, all my boys have June birthdays, so it's strange for me to be planning a winter baby.  My due date is January 31, 2016.  I will not go that long, though, as she will come into the world via my third c-section.

Meeting my baby sister, Roxanne, for the first time

I am fully aware that I could try, again, for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).  But after my failed VBAC with Wyatt, I have zero interest in going through that again.  So I will schedule my c-section at 39 weeks.  

My dad, Roxanne and me

The silver lining to having a third c-section is that I get to plan the baby's birthday.  Which means I can make sure her daddy is there to celebrate it with us.  So Josh will fly home over the weekend, and we will welcome baby girl to our family early on the 25th or 26th if all goes as planned.

Aside from people asking my due date, a lot have also asked why we won't be joining Josh in rural Alaska once the baby is born.  There are several reasons for this.  

One is that the baby will need so many check ups and shots those first few months, that going out to the middle of nowhere, and having to fly (two planes each way) to Anchorage for appointments would be totally obnoxious, not to mention expensive.  

Another reason is that we probably wouldn't fly back to Marshall until the baby was at least 6 weeks old and I had been released to travel, and by that point, we would just get there and start settling in, and it would be time (May) to turn around and come back "home" to Washington for summer.  Not to mention that flying a family of six to bush Alaska costs a small fortune.

I was only four years old. Picking her up. Yikes! Sorry mom!

For those reasons, we are going to finish out the school year here.  Josh will be home for a while when the baby is born, and will visit again (hopefully) sometime mid-spring.  And in May our family will finally be reunited for good.

It seems everyone is asking (still) if we have a name for her yet.  We don't.  Josh and I agreed that talking about names over the phone, via text or even via FaceTime is hard.  I've finally started calling her "her" and referring to her as "your little sister" to the boys.  I guess it's a step in the right direction!