"Supposed to" Life

At my book club Tuesday night we were talking about how some people have a "supposed to" life  that they constantly compare with their actual life.  When we were talking about it, it was abstract.  We were talking about other people.  

Not me.

Then I woke up this morning, grouching at the kids again, barreling through school, wishing my kids would act this way or that, instead of the way they were acting... 

And I realized that I, too, have an imaginary "supposed to" life that included kids who always listen, patience that never ends and days that progress with nary a bump in the road.  

Constantly comparing my actual life to this unrealistic imaginary life is stealing the joy I could be garnering from my days.  And that makes me sad.  There is beauty in the mess.  I just know it.

So tomorrow I am going to try & push my "supposed to" life (the perfect fake one in my head) aside, and focus on finding the good in my real life.  Wish me luck.

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