We've decided that this fall we will be enrolling all three Cunningham boys in public school. This is a hard fought decision, made with much prayer and thought, and a huge pro/con list. But what it boils down to is they're ready for it. The bummer is, I'm not. I'm not ready to have three kids in school. I'm not ready for our days to be spent apart. But it's not about me. It's about them.
So I am going to take a deep breath and let go. I'm going to let go because Logan & Jack are ready for recess and friendship and cafeteria lunch. I'm going to let go because Wyatt is ready for choice time and calendar and following his kindergarten teachers' rules. I'm going to let go not because it's easiest for me, but because it's best for them.
This winter when Carly joined our family, homeschooling became very challenging. Nearly impossible. I found I had lost my zeal for teaching and my patience. Being a nice "teacher" made it very difficult to be a nice "mom". It zapped my energy and left me feeling empty. My desire in homeschooling was to make it a positive, loving, fulfilling learning environment, and if I'm being honest (which I strive to do here in this space) it wasn't anymore.
I (obviously) reserve the right to go back to homeschooling at any point, because it is something that worked for us and we had some great times together, but I am moving towards fall ever hopeful that the boys will grow and learn and be challenged, and that I can continue letting go, because that's what's best for them.
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congratulations on coming to a decision that feels right for your boys! I know exactly what you mean about being a good teacher vs. a good mom - I have those same feelings- as a former educator, it is baffling to me (to this day!) how I was able to happily, passionately work with 30 kids towards learning every day during the school year, and a week with my own kids attempting something similar just totally drains me and them!
ReplyDeleteI keep my focus on the natural kind of learning with them (outside, nature, bedtime/lap stories, silliness, free play!) that they don't get in school and leave all the rules and sitting in the desk to their amazing teachers...who are part of my village now! xxoxox best of luck Shelly! They will do amazing after the foundation you gave them!!
I love what Tabitha said, about teaching them what they don't learn in school. ❤️
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you for recognizing what they need, and taking the leap. I promise it (school) will become normal so fast!
As someone who also homeschooled, I also can relate. I homeschooler my 2nd son and youngest daughter for 8 years. Various decisions led us to put our daughter into a small private Christian high school when she entered 9th grade. I was going to continue to do her brother who was a high school junior. After less than a semester with just him, I lost my enthusiasm, he was a difficult student, not academically inclined. He had still been n school for band so wasn't completely out of the loop. He managed & did graduate. He did not go to college but has a good job, as well as a wife, and is doing well at his job. He often gets a small bonus for coming up with company money saving ideas. Like you said, you can always go back. Enjoy being a mom and enjoy just some mommy/daughter times!
ReplyDeleteI wish them a very positive school year! With the support of Mom and Dad I bet they will flourish
ReplyDeleteI wish them a very positive school year! With the support of Mom and Dad I bet they will flourish
ReplyDeleteWe have also made the decision to put our homeschooled kiddo in public school this fall. It just boiled down to it was what was best for all of us. I know he is well-prepared and I plan on being actively involved at the school. The school has been amazingly accommodating and supportive too, so it has really helped.
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ReplyDeleteThank you for opening up (and being so honest) about such a personal decision. I have always homeschooled my daughter (going into 3rd grade), but I leave public school as an option at any time. You never know what the future will bring and if it will continue to be the right choice for the child, for the parent, and for the whole family. So many people feel it has to be all or nothing (like if you homeschool, you must homeschool forever)!
ReplyDeleteYour boys will do great!