When I made the decision to quit yelling, I happened upon a blog that I follow (that I love & that makes me laugh, but be forewarned about the swearing!) and saw that she had a banner at the top of her page (click that link and you'll see it along the top) about quitting yelling. So I clicked on it and was sent an email asking me questions about my yelling.
I yell when the kids are:
- wasting my time
- wasting my money (by being wasteful or careless)
- fighting with each other (hitting or being unkind with their words)
It's often when we are running late or heading out the door, or when the house is a mess & I feel out of control.
It is absolutely ridiculous how much just knowing WHEN I am likely to yell reduced my yelling behavior. Like recognizing it took away some of its power. Knowing when I yell was also helpful because now I have been able to make some changes to those times (mostly to our morning routine).
I have also been more purposeful with setting expectations (a trick I learned from Josh's awesome classroom management) and letting the kids know exactly what I am looking for before a situation presents itself.
Aside from Susie and Josh's inspiration, my friend Emily told me about SimplyOnPurpose's Instagram, and I am seriously in love. Everyday she is inspiring me (in simple ways) to be a better mom. She says our goals in parenting should be:
1) teaching
2) modeling happiness
3) being purposeful (through reflection & redirection)
4) looking for the good in our children
She recommends ignoring the junk behavior & instead praising the good behavior, something Josh swears works wonders in his classroom, and I am on board. It's hard to switch gears from looking for misbehavior to looking for good behavior, but I am convinced it will be worth the effort.
Any other advice on not yelling?
When do you most yell?
I'd love to hear from other mama's in the trenches!
We got this, girls!!!
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