Week 46 Around Here {2019}

Hosting... a herd of boys on Friday when the twins had their friends (who are also identical twins) over, in addition to their friend Hayden who lives in the neighborhood.  They all had a great time, shooting Nerf guns and jumping on the trampoline.  We ended the night watching Men In Black and I was pleasantly surprised with how well behaved they all were.

Spending... Saturday with the kids while Josh worked on his parent's house with his brother.  They got some lighting done in the attic and crawl space and just had some kid-free adult time, which he so deserves.  The kids and I played perler beads (thanks for the idea, Christi!) for much of the afternoon and then had movie night, enjoying pizza & cookies. 

Suffering... a migraine all day Sunday which was the WORST because Josh took the boys to the land to ride their four wheelers and instead of enjoying a day of rest with just my girl, I was suffering and sad the whole day.  I have had a migraine at least every other day since Halloween.  And I've even had mild migraines in between, but I've been able to control those without having to take my Sumatriptan, which takes the migraine away, but makes me feel miserable for at least two hours in between.  And I'm only supposed to take that stuff 9x a month, or I can get rebound headaches, which I do NOT want. So by Sunday, I was feeling really hopeless about these stupid migraines. 

Working out... for the first time in months, and feeling great about it.  With the number of migraines I've had in the last three weeks, I knew something had to give, so I have weaned myself off coffee (it can mess with my headaches) and decided I needed to get back to my workouts. I am walking for 20 minutes outside or doing my 5 Mega Miles walking video with Leslie Sansone.  They end up being between 15 & 20 minutes as well.  Working out is great because it helps with my stress level (hello two middle schoolers) and it helps me sleep better. Win/win.

Snuggling... up in my bed to read Thanksgiving stories with the kids on Monday while Josh was gone to watch the Seahawks game with my brother-in-law in Wenatchee.  It felt so good to have them all together, in cozy blankets, reading some of my favorite fall books about gratitude and coming together to celebrate.  I think reading picture books will be one of the things I'll miss most about having small children once they're grown.

Reading... Every Other Weekend, which is just the saddest book. I am not sure if I will finish it, or just put it down. It's about a girl in the midst of her parents divorce, traversing life between two houses, and is truly so sad.  I am also listening to Us Against You, the follow up to Bear Town, and enjoying it more as it continues. 

"He just knows that when something happens to your child

it doesn't make any difference whose fault it is,

because it never stops being your fault regardless.

Why weren't you there?

Why weren't you enough?"

*

"Being a mother can be like drying out the foundations of a house 

or mending a roof- it takes time, sweat, and money, and once it's done, 

everything looks exactly the same as it did before.  

It's not the sort of thing anyone gives you praise for."

-Us Against You

I finished Murder At The Brightwell and O Pioneers! earlier this week and enjoyed both.  I'm not sure what I will pick up next. What are you reading?

Getting... excited for my birthday (Monday the 18th) as I watch the boys make me homemade gifts like the "candle holder" Jack made me out of a strawberry soda can this weekend. They are such thoughtful, sweet boys (when they want to be- hah!) and I love to see that come out when they are gift giving.

Worrying... over Wyatt on Monday night as he was suffering a fever that topped out at 103.7 and started having ear pain as well.  His brothers hooked him up with a genius ear pain stopper, though, using my headband to wrap the heating pad around his ears to help with the discomfort, and I busted up laughing when I walked in the room to see what they had engineered.

Grateful... (beyond grateful) that Josh was able to stay home for the day Tuesday with Wyatt who was so sick with an ear infection and sore throat while I went to 8 parent/teacher conferences. (One at the elementary school and seven at the middle school) He said he had so much fun staying home and playing with Carly, reading her books and snuggling her.  It's crazy, and we talk about it all the time, but her being our last really changes some of the ways we parent her. Not in drastic ways, but just in the way we cherish every little stage.  We know that she won't always want to play "pups" with us; she won't always want to curl up in our lap with a cozy blanket and picture book.  We know that these days are fleeting and before we know it, she'll be a sixth grader, coming home with a forty pound backpack, and an attitude to match. ;)  So we gotta get while the getting's good.

Listening... to Laura Kelley's interview with Taylor Nichols on her Speak Life podcast. It's a long one (an hour and a half) but it's so, so good.  It's all about adoption and grief and how to better navigate those.  I have learned SO much from following Laura on Instagram (ie- not to say "They are so lucky to have you!" to adopted kids, and to just SHOW UP for people grieving in the best way I know how.  If that's dropping off a meal, great. If that's taking a kid for an hour, cool.  If that's cleaning their house, awesome.  Whatever you do, just do it. Just show up, and keep showing up.)  Laura's experience of losing her son Everett has reminded me that we are not guaranteed time on this earth (for ourselves, or our children) and it's a reminder we need sometimes, so that we don't take this sweet, hard, good, amazing life for granted.

Enjoying... a delicious hour and a half to myself on Thursday while Carly was at Grandma's and the boys were in school.  (The boys all had early release this week, so instead of an entire day to myself I only had that little bit of time.) I made the most of it, though, taking myself on a cold walk (it was 38 degrees & foggy) and then enjoying a bit of my favorite guilty pleasure- watching TLC's Unexpected. It was just what I needed, albeit not long enough, and I'm grateful for every bit of alone time I can manage these days.

Attending... three more conferences on Thursday afternoon at the middle school that were so taxing.  The boys are trying in most classes, but in these others, not so much.  Their behavior (for the most part) is really good, as are their grades, but they are still struggling with some things, and as a mom, there is only so much I can do.  The difference in middle school is that the responsibility falls squarely on their shoulders and my ability to help is somewhat limited.  This transition has been a tough one. 
That, coupled with the hormones, sass and backtalk left me completely gutted yesterday. 
All I can see is years of this (daily homework, never ending parental guidance, constant arguing) stretching out before me, and it's quite daunting...
Thank God for bedtime and the fresh start of tomorrow morning.

Looking forward... to celebrating my birthday this weekend with a special day with my sister and best friend.  I haven't gotten out of the house in a while, and am so excited to spend some time with some of my favorite people.

***

I want this to happen so badly!

Week 45 Around Here {2019}

Enjoying... a day to ourselves on Saturday when Josh took Logan to the land with him (Wyatt & Jack had slept over at Grandma's Friday night, so they were already there) by taking a walk in the sunshine and watching Pride & Prejudice while Carly played puppies.  I had a migraine to start the day off, so relaxing with her and watching a movie was nice while my medicine kicked in, and then our walk in the brisk fall sunshine was just what the doctor ordered.  We finished off the night with pizza & family movie night, which was also nice and the kids were happy to be home and cozy after a day spent playing outside & four wheeling.

   

Watching... Game of Thrones with Josh every chance we get, including date night (which is on Fridays, after the kids are in bed). We are about to start Season 6 and I am ridiculously invested in the characters.  I love Tyrion, loathe Stannis Baratheon & am so curious what's going to happen with Cersei.
I've also been watching Teen Mom 2 and Unexpected.  I got myself caught up on Thursday when my mother-in-law had Carly.  It was a lovely day to relax and unwind, writing in my journal, lounging on the bed with my kitties, while watching my favorite guilty pleasures.

Grateful... for grandma's who give our kids the much needed love & attention they require when we parents have just about had enough. ;)  Josh's mom had two of the kids this weekend for a sleepover and Carly later in the week; and my mom stopped by on her way out of town (headed back home) and took all four of them for a few hours (bless her!) so I could grocery shop sans children. (And then she paid for our groceries!)  I am just so thankful for moms who understand how hard and exhausting this stage of life is. They aren't judgmental, just there to support us and love our kids and have our backs in whatever ways we need (big & small). It means so much.  Love you two, Nanny & Grandma! Our kids are the luckiest.

Fighting... screens and screen-sneaking bad this week as the darkness has set in from Daylight Savings Time ending.  It seems like the only thing the kids want to do once it's dark out, and I am just not here for it.  What are some things you do in your houses to keep kids entertained during the winter months?  I'd love some suggestions.

Trying... to embrace the coziness of fall's arrival (the darkness, the colder temperatures) and loving the morning daylight we get now that everything's an hour earlier.  I myself love to cozy up with a good book and enjoy the quiet of a dark fall afternoon... my children on the other hand... Not so much. Hopefully things will improve with time.

Yelling... "No guns in the house!" all week as the boys have been playing Nerf Gun Wars since Sunday and I keep finding Nerf bullets everywhere.  I don't want Carly or myself to be shot as innocent bystanders, and they are CRAZY when they play, so the game must be played outside.  But other than that, their playing Nerf guns makes me so, so happy.  I love to hear them running around, chasing each other, making attack plans and bases, and using up every minute of sunlight after school to play outside.  If only the sunlight would last a little longer!!

Reading... Us Against You by Fredrik Backman (the sequel to Beartown) on audio while simultaneously trying to finish up O Pioneers by Willa Cather and start on this month's book club read- Murder at the Brightwell by Ashley Weaver.  I was in a bit of a reading slump at the beginning of this week, but things have picked up and I am back at it again, thankfully, because I have a big goal of TEN BOOKS for November! (fingers crossed!)

Attending... the boys' wrestling practice when it was "Parents Night" and getting to watch all three of them wrestle for the first time. It was exhilarating! I felt so proud of them, for how far they have come (they've never wrestled before this year) and how much they have learned.  The workout they get at practice is intense, and I am so proud of them for not giving up and for knowing their bodies are capable.

Loving... Carly's antique dress from my brother's girlfriend Bri.  She saw it and bought it for Carly for no reason other than she thought it would look darling on her.  And it does.  I love it so much.  It reminds me of Carly's german heritage, and of her namesakes- she is named both for Josh's parents (Carol & Carl), and for our ancestors on my paternal grandparent's side, many of whom were named Karl and came to America from Germany.

Feeling... so proud of the twins whose first quarter report cards came home this week and brought me nearly to tears.  Almost every teacher wrote that they were "a pleasure to have in class" or "polite, positive, and respectful".  This, to me, is everything.  As a mom, my goal is to raise kids who are good human beings.  Kind human beings.  The kind of people that other people want to be around.  Rarely do we get feedback that tells us we are doing something right.  These report cards were that feedback for me, and it meant the world to me.

Frustrated... that alongside those feelings of pride we are dealing with so much sibling fighting.  One of the boys literally broke a yard rake on his brother last weekend.  Sigh.  And the bickering.  I tell you, it's enough to drive a person mad.
So the boys are picking up extra chores and consequences like they're going out of style, and they have also picked up dinner dish duty as a consequence for poor grades in one class.  (It's super fascinating to me that both twins are struggling in the same subject, even though they are in different classes with different teachers at different times, it's the same curriculum.  Their brains really do work (and struggle) the same ways.)  When their grade in that class improves, mom will be back on dinner dish duty.

Meeting... with one of the twins' teachers this week to discuss their struggles in class and planning to meet with the others' next week during parent/teacher conferences to make sure we get on track for second quarter.  This meant I had to get all four kids and myself out the door by 7:20am for the meeting and let me tell you, it was no small feat. ha!  But we have a good idea of what our kiddo needs to be successful now and I think it will be smooth(er) sailing from here.

Hugging... my kids as often as possible after reading a few articles circulating about how important it is. I thought I was affectionate before, but now that I am consciously trying to hug them more often, I can see how many opportunities I let pass me by before.  This article sums up what I read about hugs & all their benefits.  It's funny, but I am surprised (duh!) at how much closer I feel to all of them from all this physical contact.  I guess I thought if we were close, I'd hug them more, but the opposite is also true.  The more I hug them, the more I feel like we're connected emotionally.  It's been pretty cool. 

Taking... Wyatt to his school STEM (Science/Technology/Engineering/Math) night on Thursday.  He was right in his element making sling shots, stacking apples, cups & blocks, making models and solving different puzzles.  I just love watching how his brain works, and am forever fascinated by how different he is from his mother. (hah!)

***

 I loved this quote when I found it

To read more of my thoughts about it

Check out my Instagram

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Week 44 Around Here {2019}

Celebrating... one year seizure free for Logan.  It's completely surreal to me that he hasn't had a seizure in twelve months after how many he had in 2018.  I remember thinking this day would never come.  I couldn't imagine him going a month without a seizure, let alone an entire year.  It took five medications to find the one that has worked for him long term, and the one he is on now took a leap of faith to put him on.  These are scary, serious medications.  Used for many different things with many different side effects.  We've been blessed and I don't take it for granted, these worry free days.  I know that at any point his body chemistry could change and throw us back into the ring, so for now, I just take it a day at a time, relishing the peace that comes with knowing they are currently controlled.  Grateful doesn't begin to describe it.

Grooving... in our morning routine.  It feels so good to finally feel like this is our new normal after weeks of scrambling every morning to get all three boys out the door.  I am absolutely loving that the twins leave a little before Wyatt and get home before him.  It's nice to have their departures and arrivals staggered.  It helps me to spread my attention amongst them.

Loving... our snuggly Saturday mornings, and just the weekends in general.  Friday nights Josh and I have date night after the kids go to bed (he makes pizza and we watch Game of Thrones- we are in Season Five); Saturday he generally takes the boys to the land to ride their four wheelers or hang with Grandma & Papa while I spend the day at home with Carly, and then Saturday night we have family movie night.  I make the kids' pizza and cookies and we watch a movie together.  This weekend we watched Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle, which I have to say, I thoroughly enjoy.  We've watched it a few times, and I love it.  Then Sunday all the kids have to pitch in and help clean house- bathrooms and vacuuming are their big jobs, plus any homework and extra chores they've earned from misbehavior throughout the week.  I love starting the week with a clean house, and I think it is an important skill set to know how to clean a house and to know you are part of a team in this family. (Plus, it makes them extra grateful for all the things Josh and I do around here that they don't have to do. Bonus!)

Carving... pumpkins with the kids and cracking up as Jack continually gagged from the smell and refused to dip his hands into his jack-o-lantern to empty it.  The other kids didn't seem to mind, but Jack just can't handle it. I remember feeling the same way when I was little.  The smell and the feel in my hands made my stomach feel so queasy.  So I helped him out and we got the job done. 
Doing stuff like that, carving pumpkins and other holiday traditions, are sometimes hard to make time for, but once we are doing them, I am always glad we did them because the kids are so into it, and so grateful. 

Painting... the upstairs kids bathroom, which means I have just one room left to paint!  I did it Monday when Josh's mom had Carly for the day, and I am so happy to have it completed.  I meant to do it a few weeks ago, and then Wyatt got sick, so it got moved to the back burner.  That bathroom has been dismantled for weeks now, so it's really nice to have it all painted and put back together!

Giving... haircuts to all the boys in my life- the twins, and Wyatt, as well as Josh and Samuel.  I don't enjoy the process, but I do love how fresh everyone looks when it's done!

Suffering... four migraines this week.  It sucks so much to have these.  And this week, along with the migraines came a lot of emotions.  I'm not even sure from what, but I kept bursting into tears randomly.  Not cool.  Hopefully next week gives me some headache respite.

Trick or treating... with my mom who came to town for the day, much to the delight of my children! She is also the one who sprung for the boys' costumes (thank you, Nanny!) the week before Halloween (thank you, Amazon!) because it wasn't in the budget and their mom had yet to take them shopping.  (We made it to the pumpkin patch much earlier this year, but costumes slipped my mind.  I just can't win at everything!)
Before the kids got home from school Thursday my mom and I were able to enjoy lunch together,  just the two of us, and it was so nice.  I was also able to show her what we've done to the house thus far and finish all my sentences and thoughts. That never happens! Hah!
During trick or treating the twinss were great brothers, making sure Carly got the right amount of candy and used her manners, and everyone LOVED Wyatt's amazing Lego costume.  Every time he put it on, I would crack up. It was just so real. We all loved it!  I felt surprised and honored that Jack & Logan still wanted to trick or treat with us and it didn't escape me that it might have been the last time.

 Sharing... on social media that Jack stayed up past his bedtime to work on his homework Tuesday (end of term) and was surprised at how strong people felt about our 7:00pm bedtime.  (I mentioned he was up at 8:45pm doing homework, which was well past his normal bedtime.)  Just to clarify two things- I know I don't have to, but I would like to- 1) I do NOT judge people whose kids have later bedtimes, and 2) this bedtime WORKS for us.  I know that a 7:00pm bedtime wouldn't work for many families, and I totally get that.  We are super lucky that Josh is a teacher, which means while he is gone early in the morning, before 7am, he is almost always home before 5pm in the evenings.  So we are able to have dinner between 5 & 6 and get the kids in bed very early.  I also know that some kids internal clocks would not go to sleep that early, but our kids do.  They are EARLY risers who have to be told to "stay in bed!" until 6:30am. No matter how late they go to bed, they almost always wake up between 6 and 6:30am.  This early bedtime ensures they are getting the rest they need despite their early rising.  Mostly, though, what I got from this interesting discussion on Facebook was a sense of awe for mothers who somehow tolerate their children for two to three hours longer than I have to.  You have my total admiration.  I'm not worthy.

Taking... my Unread Shelf from 131 to 120 by reading some and unhauling others.  It feels good to be heading in the right direction finally!

Reading... 17 books in October, which blew.my.mind! I read 6 audio and 11 physical books, taking my Total Read for 2019 to 80 currently.  This week I was listening to The Dutch House by Ann Patchett, which is read by Tom Hanks(!), and Everything Happens for a Reason by Kate Bowler.  I also read The Pull of the Moon by Elizabeth Berg and started O Pioneers! by Willa Cather.  I'm hoping to read 10 books in November, but I'm off to a slow start and I'm not sure I'll make it. We will see.

Hearing... the quote by Doris Lessing,

"Whatever you're meant to do, 

do it now. 

The conditions are always impossible."  

And taking it like a punch to the gut.  There are so many things that I am always waiting to do, waiting to start.  Exercising, losing the weight I put back on since last year, writing a novel... When really, truly, there is no time like the present. Now let's see what I do with that information.

Bundling up... every time we go outside.  The cold weather has set in, and boy does it have a kick!  We found and sorted our box of hats & gloves this week, and I hung up all my scarves.  I had the boys try on their boots and coats to see what fits and I am wondering how much longer until our first snow.  Here we go, winter!!

Ridiculously... grateful for some taco seasoning my bestie dropped off when she Boo'd our house this week (dropped off candy & goodies for the kids).  I usually buy the little packets, which can be up to $.75 each, and after having this discussion with me, she bought me the huge container for less than $5 at Costco.  If that's not real love, I don't know what is.

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{just breathe}

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