Around Here: Week 29 2022

 {July 17-23rd}

"Blessed are the noticers.
The ones who see the story in its fullness
Blessed are the attend-ers.

The witness-bearers.

The story-holders.

The ones who tiptoe to the edge right alongside us,

knowing that the very act will break their heart in

pieces too.

Blessed are those who are amazed by a life lived

in its fragility, its brevity, its beauty.

Blessed are the ones who stand close enough to say:
"BEHOLD."

BEHOLD

This is their love.

This is their dumb hobby.

These are the people they loved through every

hilarious failure.

These are their bad habits and favorite songs.

This is the marvel I get to know.

Behold. This is not a problem to be solved. This is a

person to be loved.

And how lucky are we?

These people.

These loves.

These precious, precious, precious days.

Thanks be to God."

-Kate C. Bowler

My Uncle Steve, my Grandpa Jerry & my Grandma Pansy

Loving... the poem above by Kate C. Bowler.  I love that it recognizes the noticers (Carly reminds me to be a noticer. She's so good at it) and it reminds me how lucky we all are to love our people. To love their strengths and their weaknesses.  To love their quirks and their eccentricities. 

Discovering... why I react the way I do when Josh or my other loved ones are moody. I read WAY too much into it. Josh and I have had a few interactions (I wouldn't call them fights... but there is definitely tension) where I approach him asking what's wrong or telling him some story I made up in my mind about why he's moody, grumpy or short and often he is 100% fine. I am just reading his quietness or his muted demeanor as "upset" when in fact, he's just quiet. Or tired. But not mad at me, or frustrated with me, or being rude. 
So I am working to not take any of the attitudes in my house personally.  Which is hard work, but also good and important work because if I don't work on it, I am going to be whipped around on an emotional roller coaster all.day.every.day because there are six of us here!

Letting... the kids do way too many screens all week and committing to do better next week.  It's always easier in the moment to give in to the kids when they are asking to do more screens, but long term, they are grumpier to get off and I feel like a terrible mom. So I've gotta make some changes.

Seeing... the eye doctor (see what I did there? haha!) to check my vision and get some new reading glasses.  The doctor said my eyes are healthy (yay!) and the assistant even asked if I'd had lasik because people my age usually don't have vision this good.  So I am definitely not taking it for granted.  I got the cutest pair of reading glasses (they just magnify what I'm reading a bit to give my eyes a break since I read so dang much)- I can't wait to show them to you. 

My only complaint about my vision lately (other than some headaches when I read too much in poor light) is that my night vision is horrible. But I guess that's pretty common with fibromyalgia, so I just avoid night driving if I can. 

Swimming... in the pool every afternoon and feeling blown away by the progress Carly has made in the last two weeks.  She can swim underwater without holding her nose, and can go sooo far.  She is especially good at swimming on her back, and is an amazing floater. Her being good in the water gives me such peace of mind. 

Hosting... my sister and feeling bad that it was a very stressful visit thanks to my kids (and she's the one with a baby and toddler! Go figure!)- the twins fought (violently) in the pool and had to be separated to go cool off and Carly had stayed up too late the night before and was the whiniest mess I have ever seen.  It was like she was a different child! Eventually she curled up on the couch with a blanket, and fell asleep! I can't remember the last time she took a nap when she wasn't sick!

Suffering... some really anxious days (feeling overwhelmed, having lots of health anxiety and physical symptoms like heart palpitations and weightless arms) and feeling absolutely bereft when my counseling appointment got canceled unexpectedly. 
I called Doctor on Demand (who I have used for nearly 2 years now) to find out why, and it turns out that my card on file was old.  But they didn't reach out. Just canceled my appointments twice in a row! I was so angry. I needed that appointment. 
But Josh was already in the pool with the kids, so I took that hour that I would have spent talking to my counselor writing in my journal. I just kind of word-vomited everything that was bothering me. It wasn't exactly the same, but it did help. 

Attending... book club this month and seeing a handful of my girls there.  A few couldn't make it. It's always good to talk to them and touch base with other mama's facing the same things I am. 

Driving... to Logan at the skate park, fixing up his injury, and sending him off to skate more. He wasn't ready to go home. 
So I decided that I am going to make him a little first aid kit to carry in his backpack (along with water and his skate tool) so that if he gets an injury, he can clean himself up and put on a bandaid. 

Treating... Wyatt and Carly to a sleepover with mom downstairs.  We stayed up late watching a movie and then fell asleep tucked in near each other on the sectional sofa in the living room. It was so cozy and fun. I'm glad I did it. 

Watching... season after season of Alone on Hulu.  It's wildly entertaining, reminds me of our time in Alaska, and is appropriate for the kids to pop in on.  In fact, they often plop down with me and watch an episode or two. It's been fun to chat about what supplies we would bring if we went, and how we think we would do in similar circumstance. 

Throwing... out old swimsuits of Carly's that have begun deteriorating from chlorine and sun-drying on the fence.  Thankfully my sister helped me place an order online for one new suit from Old Navy and my mom ordered two others from Hanna Andersson.  I can't wait for them to arrive. They're all so cute! 

Loving... summer.  I don't think I could EVER get sick of summer.  I love being hot. I love sitting in the sun. I love being in the pool.  I love the feel of the warm pavement on the back patio and the way I feel my muscles melt in the warmth in the air. 

Ecstatic... that my hydrangeas are in bloom.  We have two plants, and one is still not producing, but this other one is going nuts! It makes me so happy! The colors go from the lightest blue to a nearly deep purple. So gorgeous.

Feeling... lots of sad feelings about my grandpa's progressing Alzheimer's.  He still knows who I am, and is able to talk some, but you can tell it takes so much effort and it's hard to see.  It's also hard to see and hear how hard it is for grandma to care for him full time with no help. I wish I could fix it. 

Going... to Silverwood with the fam.  Wyatt and Carly earned free tickets from their reading program at school.  Josh also got a free ticket for being a teacher whose classroom participates. So we only had to pay for me and the twins. 
The twins went off on their own for much of the day, but also checked in periodically, and we all got ice cream and went on our favorite ride (The Log Ride) together as it's tradition. Carly and Wyatt enjoyed some cotton candy (I love cotton candy too!) and rode some rides, Carly more than Wyatt.  Overall, it was a great day, perfect weather and lots of fun memories made. 
We were on a budget this year, so we packed lunches, which saved us a ton, and brought just two backpacks with waters for everyone inside. I'm glad we did because it would have been easy to get dehydrated if we hadn't all had waters. 

Helping... Carly cut off the pieces of her skin that are hardened from her constant picking. I worry so much about her picking, as I know it's a nervous habit, but I don't really know what to do about it. I try to make her aware of it, so she can change her behavior, but it's such a satisfying addiction, it's been hard to curb! (Any advice is absolutely welcome! She picks not only her nails and cuticles, but also the actual skin on her fingers. Particularly when she's sitting still or going to sleep.) 

Admiring... Carly's creation that she made from what we call the "sticky blocks". She found them in Wyatt's closet one evening and when she woke up the next day she went to work. She made a little house for her kitties complete with a patio awning, a food & water dish, a climbing play structure, a basketball hoop and even "parents" (bigger cats) watching the kids play while eating "chips" made from the triangle pieces. Her imagination will forever be my favorite. 

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