In loving memory of Carl S. Cunningham 05-04-1953 ~ 05-07-2023 |
"I love you daddy. Happy Teacher Appreciation Week!" |
The viewing was special. It was good to see Carl at rest, not in pain. It was hard to see Josh's siblings and know they had lost someone so important to them. It was heartbreaking to see Josh's mom. Carl was her everything. And now he's gone. It's surreal.
Josh was the speaker at the funeral and I have never been so proud of him in my life. The speech he gave was beautiful. I'm going to share it here so that my kids have it to look back on someday.
"I’m going to start this off with a short story. For those of you who don’t know, I love baseball, playing when I was a kid, coaching, and catching a Mariners game from time to time. It all started when I was about eight years old. One afternoon my dad came home with a paper bag filled with 8-10 baseballs. We spent the afternoon playing catch and him hitting grounders and pop flys in our side yard.
Carl was a busy man, he had a large family, so he spent a lot of time working to provide for us. Weekends were full of projects around the house. Dad was an avid gardener. Growing up he had a large section of the yard reserved for the garden, he also grew many fruit trees. Dad was always tinkering on something, he came from a generation that fixed what was broken and I learned a lot by just watching.
Dad loved cars, motorcycles, airplanes, pretty much anything that moved. As a pilot of small aircraft I once went flying with him. You heard that correct once. I can’t remember how old I was, but somewhere in the 5-7 range. I don’t remember taking off or landing, but I do remember trying to roll the window down. In his later years dad really got into motorcycles. He went on many adventures with his good friend Greg. He and my mom also spent many miles on the road together. We loved to hear their stories when they returned.
Dad never loved the idea of working for someone else, so he tried out a few ideas to start up his own business. One of my favorites was he was going to build kit cars and sell them, while this never got a lot of traction and we only completed one car, the amount of time I spent with him was invaluable. The late nights, crammed into our garage figuring out wiring, fuel lines, and all the other things that are required to build a car from the ground up were worth it, when I saw the huge smile when we fired it up for the first time. Now I don’t want to paint a picture that it was all great…Working on cars with my dad was a lot of looking for tools, and coming back with it only to find out he used another tool or something else to complete the task. Samuel can attest to that! Trying to hold the flashlight for him was sometimes a near death experience! I always wanted to see what he was doing which normally put the light in the wrong place, he would yell "You don’t need to see!”
When Dad retired and moved back to Moses Lake he got to build his dream shop, and promptly fill it with shit. He also started to build his forever home with my mom. Building a house is expensive, time consuming, and aggravating. The project dragged on, and stalled out when dad had his stroke. It took help from so many people and with hard work and dedication, he and mom moved in last November. As some of you may know, my dad was a bit of a perfectionist. He liked things done in a certain way and didn’t have any qualms letting you know. After he moved in to the house we asked him what he thought. He said something to the effect that it's fine. Probably not what we wanted to hear, but what we expected. Dad was true to himself and I love him so much for being so.
You’ve heard the saying that behind a strong man is an even stronger woman. I’ve seen that play out a little different. My parents stood side by side for 50 years. Through their amazing lives of ups and downs they made an amazing life together and we were privileged enough to get to be a part of it.
I’m going to end this eulogy with a short lesson. A word that I’ve heard come up a lot during this time of sadness is regret. I have reflected a lot about this word and what it means and even tried to spin it into a positive. It’s easy to think about all the things you wish you could have done or said to your loved one, but as I sat and wrote this I thought of the thousands of memories of my dad and it completely outweighs the few changes I would make. I love my dad and I know that he loved me. So when it comes down to it I don’t regret anything. Find the joy, find the memories, find the laughter, and finally find the love.
Ok, really just one more thing…I love when a story comes full circle. I had the opportunity to coach my twins baseball team with my dad and brother. While I loved just about every second of it, I think they begrudgingly came along because it was important to me. While I can’t remember how many games we won or lost, if I am being honest with myself it was likely more losses. I will remember the happy memories made with three generations of ball players. I am so happy that I was able to share my love of baseball with my dad, brother, and sons."
What a beautiful tribute to your father-in-law! Hope you're doing well. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI love the football jersey for the funeral. My father passed this past October and his love of beer went beyond anything except his family so all the pallbearers wore beer t shirts.
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