WSU Graduate

{Joshua Adam Cunningham}
Bachelor of Arts
in Education

{Class of 2010}
That's Josh holding the Education sign!

Well, we made it. This day had been a long time coming, and I can't believe it's already here and gone. The day of graduation was so surreal. I kept flashing back to Josh's Clark graduation (for his two year associates degree). It was the first time I had left the boys (they were only 12 days old) and I was a wreck. I was so proud of him (he had been working full time, going to school, been hit by a drunk driver and suffered a consequent seizure; all without giving up!), but I was lost and floundering myself in my new found mommy-hood.

This year I felt nothing but confidence. I feel confident in our marriage, in our ability to weather life's storms, in our parenting of the boys and of our future.

I thought I would cry my eyes out, but when they called his name, all I could do was throw my hands in the air and scream. I screamed and screamed until they were already reading the next name- I couldn't help myself. I was hoarse. I am just so proud of him!

{My grandparents with Josh}
We were so thankful they were able to make it.

{My mom & Josh}
Actually, we had quite the turnout. You won't believe it. There were 26 people there (most of whom we fit into ONE row!) to support Josh. He said as soon as his name was read he knew where we were thanks to the screaming. I think we are all just so crazy proud of him.

After graduation we had an open house at his sister's house. (Thanks again for hosting, Julie!) I had the chance to thank everyone for their support throughout the last two years, and really spent the day reflecting on how far we've come. It feels so good to be where we are now.

The {soon-to-be} teacher, already crazy!

{My sweet Bogey boy}
It is insane how fast time flies. The boys were three weeks old when Josh started the program. They were feeding every three hours, weighed about five pounds and seven pounds, and were precious beyond belief.
Now they are nearly two, talking (all the time!) and running around so independent. When I see how much they have changed in two years, it makes sense how different I feel. A lot can change in two years. And for me, my self esteem is better, I feel more capable and I feel more trusting that everything happens for a reason.

I have grown more thankful for family in the last two years than I ever thought possible. The people there on Saturday celebrating my husband's success are the ones who got me through the darkest of days, who fed my children in my absence, and who lent me their shoulders as I cried.
None more than my best friend, my sister.

{Jack being sweet with Ferris}
Above all, Josh and I are so proud to be college educated parents. Because our hope is that our education will be an inspiration to our children to also become educated people.

crib update

The boys are still climbing out of their cribs. Logan was out of his crib Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning when we went in to get them up. Friday my mother-in-law had to sit with them to get them to stay in their cribs & fall asleep for naps. Then Friday night it took me 54 minutes to get them to sleep. Saturday I was in there for 20 minutes for nap time and only 34 minutes for bed time. Then today for naps was about 20 minutes again, and for bed time it was an hour and five minutes. Jack fell asleep after 35 minutes, but Logan was my holdout. He kept standing up. Whenever I would see his eyes close for an extended period of time, he would then try to stand up, to stay awake.
I was SO grouchy by the time he fell asleep. It sucks because it's working- they don't climb out and they fall asleep eventually- but it is eating up my free time. Instead of being "off duty" at 7:00, it's more like 8:00. And it's making me miserable! I need more time, not less!
We discussed taking off the sides of their cribs, and letting them do the whole toddler bed thing, but I feel bad doing that to my mother-in-law. So I am hoping to make it the next five weeks with cribs intact. Then I'll be home for the summer and we can face that challenge.
It's just always something, isn't it?

my.life.is.over.

{Logan}
Yes, folks, you see that right. My little ones have (at 23 months) figured out how to crawl out of their playpens (as pictured here) at Nanny's house, and their cribs at home.
This means in order for them to sleep in their cribs or playpens at nap or bed time, someone must sit and monitor any & all climbing behavior.
Last night I sat in the rocker in their room for 54 minutes, and tonight I was in there for 34 minutes. Quite an improvement! Here's hoping they are good boys and quick learners, cause Mommy is tired of saying, "NO CLIMBING" in her mean mommy voice!

nanny's cutie pies

Jack playing basketball (hoops) in his favorite hat and frog boots.

Logan getting the mail with Aunt Roxanne (Sosanne)

So cute!

They are just getting so big!

{Jack}
I love that face!

{Logan}
"Go crazy!"

They always have so much fun at Nanny's!

My Mother's Day

{Logan, Mommy & Jack}
My second Mother's Day was awesome. I still feel so amazed that I am a mom. I can't believe God has blessed me this way, with these boys, with this life. I just love them so much! And I am lucky enough to be parenting beside my best friend. I woke up Sunday to pancakes & bacon cooking, a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a card that Josh picked out and the boys colored inside, and finally a digital picture frame. Josh loaded a hundred pictures of the boys over the last two years onto it. It is so much fun!

After our big family breakfast, we took the boys to the park. They played for over an hour; going up and down the slides, jumping in the bark dust, and swinging on the swings. When we got home, they ate lunch and were worn out- they slept for over two hours!

When they woke up they got to go to the park again at Grandma's house with their cousin Gustav. More slides, more swinging and more jumping in bark dust!

And finally we headed home, fed the boys dinner and Josh started baths. Meanwhile, I headed with my mom and sister to see the movie Babies in Portland. It follows four babies from four different countries for their first year. The babies are from Africa, Mongolia, Japan and America. It was really good. And nice to spend some time with my favorite ladies.

While I was gone, I missed the boys, though. They are the best thing that ever happened to me. And I love every moment I get to spend with them.

{Logan Henry}
This boy, he is my light. He brings me such joy. He missed me at bedtime last night and this morning he kept saying, "Hi Momma! Hi Momma!" over and over again. Then he hugged me and with his tiny arms as tight around my neck as possible. I love this kid!

{Jack Sawyer}

This boy is my sunshine. He brings me such happiness. When I left for work today he blew me kisses and said "I love you!" And when I asked for a kiss, he made the Muah! sound and kissed me square on my lips. This kid melts.my.heart!

Is he cute or what?

He's my Logan Bogans

Happy Mothers Day

{August 6, 1989: The day our family was complete}
{Dalton holding Dallas, my mom, me & Roxanne}

To my mom,
who is the best mother I know.
She taught me everything I know about parenting
and is responsible for raising me into the woman & mother I am today.
I love you.
~Shelly

all.by.myself

It's funny to me that as the boys get older they constantly tell me they want to do it "myself". They don't want help getting into or out of their high chairs; they don't want help climbing into the car; they don't want help putting on lotion. Everything needs to be done "myself."
90% of the time, I love this. (Only when I am in a hurry and them doing it themselves equals a huge mess do I loathe this stage.)

It's ironic because I am going through the same stage in my parenting of them. I find it amusing that we are going through the "do-it-myself" phase together. Going to the park? "I do it myself!" Going to the doctor? "I do it myself!" Going grocery shopping? "I do it myself!" And just like the kids, I am so proud of "myself" when I do it "myself!"Some of the activities that I have taken on solo require special planning, but that just adds to the sense of accomplishment when I am done. None of the above listed outings are done the way a mom of singletons would do it, but I am learning to adjust, make due and be flexible.
For instance, when I went to urgency care (Logan had pink eye, which Jack has since contracted- gotta love twins!), I loaded the boys up in the double stroller, stocked the diaper bag chock full of toys, sippy cups, snacks, bubbas and binkies to avoid screaming toddlers in the waiting room. And when I was called back to see the doctor, I followed the nurse with that huge Cadillac of a thing, pausing at the weight scale, unbuckling and pulling Jack out to weigh him, putting him back in the stroller and doing it yet again with Logan. Rule Numero Uno? They must stay in the stroller. To unleash the two of them with only one parent in the room would be chaos. The doctor was patient as I pulled each boy out, buckling his brother back in, and the boys were surprisingly good during their turn.
As I left the doctors office, in classic Northwest style, it was POURING. DOWN. RAIN. I rushed to put the boys in the car first. Once they were in, I had to unload the stroller- my purse, their coats, the diaper bag... Then I still had to fold up the stroller and stow it in the trunk. By the time I had the car all loaded, I was drenched. And yet, that sense of accomplishment from "doing it myself" overrode the fact that it was an hour past dinnertime, the boys were cranky, and I looked like I had fallen into a lake.
Ahh... I was soaking it in.

I have also had my first solo venture to the park. And it was a soaring success. The boys were happy, cooperative, and the model of perfect-park behavior. I was proud. Not only of the boys, but of my ability to let go just enough. Going to the park with the two of them alone is daunting for a variety of reasons. The first two, of course, are safety related. Naturally the boys go in two opposing directions at the park, so I can't possibly be there to catch them should they fall. And it also means that my eyes can't be on them at the same time, which brings about stranger danger fears. And the last reason it's tough is that they may be doing something adorable, or accomplishing some feat, and no one may be witnessing it. I may be with Jack going down the slide, while Logan is jumping off the steps all.by.himself. That's where the letting go kicks in. And I did it!
So as the boys attempt to spread their wings and do more by themselves, I promise to cheer them on, because I know how good it feels to do it "myself."

feeling doubly blessed

{mommy & Jack}
I was looking back through my pictures and came across these. They are some of my favorite pics. The boys were still so little, and so scrumptious in their tiny Osh Kosh overalls!

{double feeding}
When I quit breastfeeding and started formula feeding, I used those Boppy's within an inch of their lives! Every three hours during the day I would set myself up on the couch or floor with two bottles, two boppy's, two burp rags & two babies. (Here I am at my mom's... I never left home without the Boppy's!)

{mommy's perspective}
My mom took this picture (well, all of these actually) for me. She said she thought it would be nice to have it from my perspective. Feeding them like this didn't always work perfectly. They didn't always finish at the same time, and sometimes they would scoot down, away from the Boppy, but it was the best way I could find to keep them on roughly the same schedule and feed them at the same time by myself.

{Mommy with Jack & Logan-in my lap-)
When they were about half way through their bottles, I would stop to burp. Logan was notorious for throwing up every.single.ounce. of his bottle if he had a burp. So we always stopped mid-feeding to prevent this.

{Mommy & her bubs}
When I look at this picture (me with two teeny, tiny babes) I wonder, "How did I do it?" I now understand why people always asked me this. Looking back, I don't really remember. I guess I just did it because I had to do it. I did the best I could with the resources I had at the time, and we seem to have come out of it alright!

{my sweethearts}
I remember carrying them like this was somewhat nerve wracking. For a long time they lacked the neck control necessary for me to carry both of them. But necessity caused me to carry both of them together quite often. With time it got easier, and now they have the neck control, but I am lacking the bicep strength! (I do carry them both, more than I should, but I just love them so much! Plus it's a good workout. They are roughly sixty pounds all together!)

{holding hands}
We used to love when the boys would touch each other, or hold hands. When they were a little older they started looking at one another, and that was exciting,too. It's amazing to think that now they are able to talk to each other.
The other day Jack was sitting on the floor, playing with the food from his "kitchen" and Logan walked over to him. "Jack. Up. Push," he said matter-of-factly. He then walked into the kitchen, sat in the baby doll stroller and waited. Jack promptly got up, walked over to Logan and pushed him around and around in the stroller.
They also tell each other no, to share, or if they want to trade. They are surprisingly good at trading toys and sharing. They often will say (with no adult intervention) they want to trade, and the other brother will oblige. This makes me so proud.
-
Looking back at what it used to take every day to keep the boys happy and healthy, I am proud of how far we have come. I am thankful that our journey has been so joy-filled and wonderful. I realize more and more just how blessed I am.
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Tonight as I read them "All By Myself" by Mercer Mayer (a Cunningham household favorite) in the rocking chair I got two years ago when I was 33 weeks pregnant with them, their blonde hair shiny and still damp from their bath, their skin glistening from Johnson & Johnson pink lotion, their green binkies being sucked (suck-suck, suck-suck) and their chubby fingers rubbing their favorite soft spots on their bubs, I take a real deep breath (perhaps the first one of the day) and realize that this is just what I have been waiting for. This is what I have been dreaming of my whole life. I have two beautiful, healthy children who beg all night long as we get ready for bed to read a book in "mommy yap!?!" (lap)
And after stories, it gets even better (if that's possible) as they say, "Mommy hug?" I scoop them up (the boy, his binky, his two bubbas (I think they think they need twins, too), and their blanket) and I sing to them "You are my sunshine." Only now, I don't sing it solo. No, those sweet, cherubic cheeks start humming along, mostly belting out the word "Sunshine" at random intervals- working hard to sing around the binkies that, at this point, must be left in. I rock them back and forth in my arms as if they were brand new babies, their big chubby hands sometimes wrapped around my neck, sometimes loving their bubbas, and I thank God for them. I pray for their safety and health through the night, and I lower them, one by one, into their beds, telling them to "go night-night", "Mommy loves you".
Oh yes.
Mommy loves you.

twenty-three months

{four days old}

{one month old}

{two months old}

{three months old}

{four months old}

{five months old}

{six months old}

{seven months old}

{eight months old}

{nine months old}

{ten months old}

{eleven months old}

{one year old}

{thirteen months old}

{fourteen months old}

{fifteen months old}

{sixeteen months old}

{seventeen months old}

{eighteen months old}

{nineteen months old}

{twenty months old}

{twenty-one months old}

{twenty-two months old}

{twenty-three months old}
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What a journey!