bath babes

{bath time bubs}

{hugs}

 {i heart logan's smile}

{can you say identical twins?}

{jack & logan}

omg... seriously

I LOVE THIS KID!

my towheads

hope

So... Josh didn't get the job.
The one I talked about here.
The one we sort of put all our hopes & dreams into.
We found out yesterday morning. 

Surprisingly, we are doing okay with this letdown.

But I do wonder what it is that God has in store for us.

-

I was watching an Oprah on Women, Food & God
(that inspiring book I read recently about weight & overeating)
and something Oprah said rang true for me.   
(I had to rewind & play this three times to really "get" it.)  

"When you surrender, and stop resisting and stop trying to change that which you cannot change, but be in the moment, be fully open to the blessings that you have already received and those that are yet to come to you, and stand in that space of gratitude and honor and claim that for yourself, and look at where you are and how far you've come and what you've gotten and what you've accomplished and who you are. When you can claim that and see that, the literal vibration of your life will change."

I think that if I can accept where we are, right now, in this moment, then big changes can come.  If I can accept that I may have to work in the fall- it would be hard, but I could do it- and accept that what I want to happen may not happen when I want it to, then God can do big things in our lives.

I have trusted Him completely thus far, and it's been an {amazing} road.  I met & fell in love with my soul mate; We both received Bachelor Degrees; I had a healthy twin pregnancy & birth; We have two beautiful sons;  and through it all He has taken care of all the details: finances, our health, insurance...  I just have to take a deep breath, mourn the loss of this opportunity and know that He will take care of it. Take care of us.

 -

"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead."  Philippians 3:13b

a family bike ride...

For Josh's birthday he decided he wanted a bike and a trailer so we could bike ride with the kids.  His mom bought the bike, and my mom & grandma contributed for the trailer. Then we got helmets & brought my bike from my parents house to our house, and we're all set!  

So yesterday we went for our first family ride, and it was awesome. We rode from our house to the park nearby, and then along a nature trail, which was my favorite part.  I really enjoyed the feeling of being on a bike again. The wind and just the freedom... It was awesome!

Our cool biker boys!

Are they adorable, or what?

Jack's helmet has Thomas the Train Engine

&

Logan's helmet has Woody & Buzz from Toy Story

{Logan}

{Jack}

Cookies

Making cookies with mommy

Bringing the brown sugar from the pantry

Signing "Cookie"

Signing "Sugar"

The boys have been fighting more than usual lately, so Josh & I decided they were in need of a break.  So Josh took Jack over to his mom's to play, and Logan & I stayed home and made cookies.  Logan has become a real Mama's boy since school ended, and I am loving it. He always wants hugs & snuggles, and prefers me to anyone else.  He is happier now than I have seen him in a long time. 

He loves being my helper and wants to do everything "myself."  Opening doors, buckling seat belts, taking off his coat... the list goes on.  He loves Sukie, always wanting to pet her, know where she is and what she is doing.  It was really nice to spend some one-on-one time with him today.  I think tomorrow I will do the same thing with Jack.

friday morning

 This morning Josh & I decided to try out a different park for the boys.  They seem to be getting bored of their same old parks. But then when we got to the new, big, exciting park, they seemed just as disenchanted.  I think maybe it's just the age- wherever we are, and whatever we are doing, they want to be doing something else, or (more often) something that's a no-no.

{Jack trying out the tire swing}

{Waiting for Daddy to bring snack} 

 {kisses}

{adorable logan}

{brotherly love}

Even though the park visit was a bust, I got some cute pictures.
And it wore them out enough that I got an hour and half nap from them~ yay!

playdate

I met Annie & her son Thorin once at Winco back when I wore Logan on my back & had Jack in the cart. After Annie bagged her own groceries, she came and helped me pack mine.  We exchanged numbers and just got together on Wednesday for a playdate. Thorin is the same age as the boys (two weeks younger) and we had a fabulous time. I really like Annie, and we seemed to hit it off. 

She snapped these pics of the boys and e-mailed them to me. They were too cute not to share, even if they are a little small. (I tried to make them bigger, but they just got grainy.)

Happy Birthday Joshua Adam

On this day, 27 years ago...

You came into the world.

You came into the lives of your four older sisters,

and your two loving parents...

And were later joined by two more sisters,

and (finally!) a brother...

Ten years ago, you came into my life...

And these have been the best ten years of my life.

I am so thankful for the day you were born.

Today, I celebrate you, baby.

(And what a cute baby you were!)

Parenthood

Okay, so has anyone else (besides my beloved sister) been missing NBC's show Parenthood? I loved that show.  It reminded me that someday my boys will be grown ups, and that the struggles in the meantime will be funny then.

I was reading Good Housekeeping (Thank you, Julie for the subscription!) and there is an article in there about Emma Thompson & Maggie Gyllenhaal (who are apparently best friends).  In it, they talk about parenting, and working, and marriage, and basically life in general. And something in it struck me. Really got me thinking.

Emma (who is 51 and has a great perspective) said, "I don't want your readers to think they have to have it all.  I think that's a revolting concept. It's so false! Sometimes you'll have some things, and sometimes you'll have other things. And you do not need it all at once; it's not good for you." 

I believe she is quite right. And just knowing that I don't have to have it all; that  no one really does have it all, helps.  I have been feeling like if I have a clean house, and am being a good mommy, I'm not really spending enough time with Josh. Or if I am taking time for myself and spending time with friends, then I am not being the mom I want to be. I never feel that I have everything "just right."  Now I have freedom to just enjoy what I do have.  The other stuff will come.

 Yesterday we went to dinner at Josh's parents house. (Carl cooked ribs- yum!) We talked about the boys, the lack of sleep... just parenting, really. And I told Carl about the advice people had given me about the boys' sleep issues, and he told me that taking advice is hard because his priorities aren't my priorities, and other peoples' priorities aren't my priorities. Only I know what my priorities are. 

I really thought about it and, you know, he's right. Here I've been asking for advice about the boys' sleep issues, and I've been scouring the internet and my "It's A Boy- Complete Guide to Raising Sons" for "the answer", when really only Josh & I know what our boys need. We are their parents. We know who they are, what bothers them, what makes them happy.  I just need to learn to trust myself.  To trust us.

 So Josh and I did some brainstorming and decided to work on a more balanced diet (with less chocolate- hello caffeine!) and limit the boys' television viewing.  And after one day, what do you know? They slept through the night. (Well, Logan woke up twice around 10pm, but Josh was still up, so it was no big deal.)  I guess we do know what we're doing!  Hey, the binky/balloon thing turned out alright, didn't it?

 And if we don't know what we're doing, and every once in a while we screw it up and life gets tough, Josh's sister Laura reminded me of something that helps me feel a little better. She said, "Everyone I talk to say that it's the hardest thing they have ever done. EVER."  And she's right. Parenting is not for the weak. And doing parenting right, well, it's exhausting.  But Josh's mom said, "You love them. And that is enough."  She's right.  I do love them. And that is enough.

Just When...

Just when I am about to lose my mind from a lack of sleep; a lack of ability to follow a conversation or a thought; and a lack of patience in dealing with these boys, they go and remind me how blessed I am. That it's totally worth it. That they, too, are growing & changing, right alongside me.

Last night I was putting the boys to bed and we were in the rocking chair reading a book.  Jack kept hitting the book and I asked him not to do it.  He felt sad and wanted a hug, but I wanted to just keep reading, so I told him I'd hug him at the end.  Logan turned to me and said, "Hug Jack?" So I said okay.

Logan wrapped his tiny arms around his brothers shoulders, patted his back with his tiny, precious fingers, and then he kissed him. Three times. On the temple. 

It is so extraordinary to witness this kind of love.

And he didn't stop there.  Later when I was rocking him and singing "You Are My Sunshine", he sang along, like he always does, but ad libbed a little bit. (Parts in CAPS are what he sang.)

  "You are my SUNSHINE, my only SUNSHINE. You make me HAPPY, when skies are GRAY. You'll never know DEAR, how much I LOVE YOU, JACK. Please don't TAKE my SUNSHINE AWAY."

Again, I just can't explain how amazing it is to witness the  bond that these two little boys have. They really and truly love each other. And I am so privileged to see it everyday.

Mommy, boots!

The other morning I was getting the boys ready to go play in the front yard, and as I was getting Logan dressed, Jack came over and said, "Mommy, boots." I thought he was bringing his boots to me so I could put them on him, but when I looked down I saw that he had put them on himself! It was such a proud mommy moment! (Even if they were on the wrong feet!)