Little Moments & Big Updates

Tonight I am rushing to get a million things done, since I leave at the crack of dawn Wednesday morning for ANCHORAGE!!! That's right.  Wyatt and I will be flying out of PDX headed to ANC to see Josh, who will be in town for a doctors appointment.  When we got the disappointing news that we wouldn't be joining Josh until after Christmas break, we knew that also meant Josh would need to make a doctor appointment to set up a new physician in Anchorage. (He had originally planned on going while we were all there together before heading to Bethel & on to Marshall.)  So we started talking and he mentioned that I should come up to see him while he was there. I told him no, we couldn't afford it.  Then some people around us decided that we did indeed need to see each other and helped make it happen. (**thank you**)

 So he made his appointment and booked our flights & hotel, and we're off! I think I still can't believe it. And to be honest, I am really nervous about seeing him. Will he even still like me? (I feel like I'm back in high school!) I am excited to have a break from Logan & Jack, but am worried about how they will handle my absence. They have been quite clingy lately and I fear that they will think I'm never coming back. I told them I am taking a trip to Anchorage with Wyatt for four days to see Daddy. And they seem okay with it, but we'll see... (Thank you to Julie & my parents who will have the boys while I am away.) I am also excited for Josh to see Wyatt, who has grown so much since he saw him last.  I mentioned to Josh that I'm nervous to see him and he reassured me we'll have so much fun, eating out, watching movies & shopping for a few things for the new house.  He's right, I know. I'm just a dork.

"The woods" at Nanny's house

 Other than planning for my trip, I've been busy enjoying my children, who have turned into hilarious chatterboxes as of late. For about two weeks there, I was pretty sure I was going to lose my very mind- they were tantruming, not listening, smart mouthing and just being plain ornery. The last week, though, they have turned a corner, and I am really enjoying them. (That's not to say they aren't exhausting-- they are!-- but I am having fun with it.)

 Along with becoming quite the comedians, they are also really growing in their independence & listening, which is welcome change. I got rid of their double stroller this week. I haven't used it since I was about eight months pregnant, so I don't know why I kept holding onto it, except that it was like my security blanket. With that double stroller, I could contain them, keep them safe, be in charge. But they are teaching me everyday that I need to let go of control, allow them to grow up & trust that they are going to make the right choices.  I was happy to see it go, but still get a little panicky at the thought of never having them strapped in again!

They have also become quite the masters of cleaning up, which used to be such a battle that (honest mom moment here) I gave up. I never made them clean up their toys. I did it for them. Because it was easier. It was such a struggle, and I'd always end up yelling, so I just waited until they were in their boosters eating and I'd do it myself.  That was getting pretty ridiculous, though, and when Jack came home on the first day of school and all he had to report was that the teacher made them clean up before they could go to recess, I knew I had to change my ways. So I decided that I would set the timer for five minutes, and whatever toys they didn't have cleaned up by then would go in timeout, which for us, is on top of the fridge.  The first time, about 30 toys were up there. The next time was 10. Then 20 again. And this morning -for the first time ever- they cleaned the entire living room, and no toys went into timeout. It's been fun watching the dynamic, because Jack doesn't really care if the toys go on the fridge, but Logan does, so Logan was working double time this morning to make sure everything was away. This is something I will have to address at some point, as it's not fair to Logan, but for now, I am just happy it's not me!

 Now for some fun little moments. The things that make me laugh and keep me going when I'm sure I can't.  Yesterday Jack was rubbing his armpit to his elbow with his left hand, while his right hand was up in the air. "See this, mom?" he asked. "What is that?" I asked him. He told me it was his exercises. I asked what exercises were for and he said for getting bigger. I told him that the exercises he's been seeing mommy do (mostly crunches & planks for firming up my post-baby belly) are so mommy will get smaller. "No!" he laughed, "Exercises are for getting bigger! Like Samuel!" (His uncle who is roughly 8 feet tall... or something like that.) So cute!
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Going along with the "exercise" topic, I found a statistic in my Parents magazine that was startling. 

58% of recently pregnant women say they'd rather have morning sickness than visible stretch marks.

I can't believe this. I was sick. I was soo sick. Remember? And I can't imagine wishing that on myself only to save my bikini beach days.  My opinion on this, however, is skewed, as I got stretch marks and morning sickness. Double prizes!  Someday I may even post a picture of my belly with all those stretch marks... I'll have to mentally gear up to do that, though, as it.is.ugly.

The other day Jack asked who I was talking to in the car, and I told him I was talking to our neighbor Michaella.  He goes, "I call her "M". I said, "Why do you call her that?" And he tells me, "Cause I'm an A-B-C-er." I don't know what that means, but it was dang cute!

 The other day our song came on the radio. Remember in high school having a "song"? I still remember the day Josh chose ours. We were sitting in a movie theater, waiting for the movie to start, watching the commercials for popcorn & yummy treats, and it came on. And Josh told me, "I've been thinking that should be our song."  It was touching to me that he'd been thinking about it and picked one for us.  I still love it. And on the day it came on the radio, I teared up, thinking of him.  And Jack, oblivious to the meaning or my moist eyes said to me, "I like it, this one. I like it, mom."

The song? Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse.

Mason, Jack, Orion & Logan

I have a few favorite lines:

"Letting go of all I've held onto"

And also:

I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose, there's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world that can change my mind
There is nothing else

Josh & I sacrificed a lot to be together. And to stay together. Hearing that song reminds me of all we gave up for each other, but also how much we gained by choosing to live only for each other.

First bath with all three boys

Besides having good taste in music, the boys also know how to impress our house guests. Whenever people come over they ask if they would like to see our "HUGE SPIDERS!?!" And our guests, generally kind people, always say yes and let the boys lead them around the yard pointing out different scary spiders & webs delicately placed by the mailbox, front door & carport. 

They tell our guests that these spiders are "berg-sgusting" (translation: disgusting) and that mommy is scared of them, but they are brave.

Logan, Wyatt & Jack

Well, with that friends, I will bid you adieu.  I have to go and figure out how I am going tell Josh about Jack's newest pet request. Last week he asked me for a mouse, and I had to say no.  But he's now requested that we buy him a baby dinosaur to take to Alaska. Logan has plans to use said dinosaur to defend us from bad guys, and Jack's sure we can find one "about his size" to fit on the tiny plane to Marshall. He is also sure that Daddy will think this is a brilliant idea. So, since the twins have all the details figured out, I just have to find a way to break the news to Josh that our dino pet will need a place to stay, and airfare.I'm sure I'll figure something out!

PS- Wyatt's 4 month post (4 months!?!) will auto-post on Saturday (the 15th), so keep an eye out for it.