Sometimes being brave means trudging through.
Sometimes being brave means keeping on.
Sometimes being brave means faking it.
And sometimes being brave means admitting you need help.
My anxiety/panic attacks have reached the point that I am not able to quell them myself or even with my "as needed" medication. So two days ago I decided to be brave. I started a daily medication to help tackle the anxiety that has been debilitating (off and on) since I got here in August.
I hated to do it. To take the medication. I felt weak somehow. Like I was giving up. But the more I think about it, the more I think that taking medication for my illness is brave. Doing the right thing for myself, my husband, my family is brave.
Doing something I am afraid of (taking the pills) is brave.
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So you might not hear from me consistently for the next few weeks as I try to get myself back to normal. I am going to try to at least post my Daily Gratitudes though in honor of Thanksgiving.
{Oh, and I wanted to update that *fingers crossed* our heat and hot water should be back today. It's been an entire week. So I really, really, really hope so!!!}
Today's Daily Gratitude:
so proud of you and happy for you too. I have been thinking about you a lot lately and sending positive thoughts your way. I actually said to Brandon this week, "I'm worried about my friend Shelly" and he said, "the one in Alaska?" because I talk about you being a friend so often that my husband even 'knows' you! xxxoxo Sending Love.
ReplyDeleteI love those photos! Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you as you get on the regiment of daily medication. Post when you can/want - but don't feel obligation. We'll all still be here. :-)
As someone who is on medication for depression/anxiety, I am so glad you have decided to do this. Had I not read that you did, I was going to strongly suggest that you should. I have seen two of my kids,now young adults, struggle with anxiety/OCD also. Your family needs you to be the best you can be and taking the meds will help you do that. You are doing well in a tough situation but one can sometimes only be strong for so long. I have heard it said more than once that if you had diabetes, you would not hesitate to take medication. You should not have to feel that you are giving in by taking medication. Praying that you will find relief in the next days and weeks.
ReplyDeleteYour self-awareness is commendable. So many others might let this type of situation slide into something much worse before realizing that they needed additional support.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a positive step for you. You know, I have to say, if I lived in your situation, and dealt with the isolation that you do every day, I am sure my mental health would suffer. I think anyone's would. So, I hope you know deep down how perfectly normal it is that you're having some troubles with living up there, away from the lifestyle, scenery, and loved ones that you're accustomed to. Anyway, hang in there! I hope this next step for you does the trick. You're an amazing woman.
(Love the blog!)
Self-care is so important. There in nothing shameful about taking the pills daily. I really hope this helps. Hope to see you back here often soon if the break is what you need.
ReplyDeleteShelly, I was so happy to read this. I do not think of this in any way as "succumbing to medication." You're doing what you need to in order to live your best life, and be happy and healthy in all aspects. I find it commendable and am relieved that you're trying. Because you weren't quite taking the "as needed" anxiety medications as much as you really could have been, I hope this solution offers more of a middle ground.
ReplyDeleteChanging thought processes, exercise, diet, breathing, knowing your triggers were first steps, and those didn't work continuously so it's time to go to the next step. If anyone had any other type of ailment, they'd go down the list of steps until they found relief. Please never think of yourself as "caving" or in any other negative way. You treat people how to treat you, and in this case you need to be gentle with yourself. You have such a broad readership on the blog, and you might inspire someone else to own their anxiety problem, or maybe help someone to know their not alone in their suffering. I'm very proud of you and am praying this will combat the anxiety. All I want is for you to be happy, carefree, sunshine Shelly. I love you.