The Sun Will Rise

I've been needing a little inspiration to help me feel hopeful about the future.  Inspiration for me comes in two sources generally-- good quotes & good music.  This week it's been my current favorite album, a collection of lullabies, by JJ Heller.

This song reminds me that dawn follows darkness.  Right now I am in a good place-- I am feeling so grateful for Josh and for our boys... but when it comes to our future, I am at a loss.  Are we going to have another baby?  What will those details look like?  Is it worth the risk?   What do I want for our family?  What does God want for our family?  

The simple answer is, "I don't know."  And the more complicated answer is one that mixes in all the details of where we live, what health care looks like, and fears & concerns I have after suffering two miscarriages (one alone in Anchorage & one here in the village).  

There is no easy answer.

Some days I feel like diving into trying for another baby, regardless of the circumstances.  Other days I am paralyzed with fear at the thought of discovering another broken heart in my uterus.  If you think of us in the coming days, weeks & months, will you lift up a prayer on our behalf?  Right now I'm just praying for God's will because I don't know the right thing.  So I'm praying He makes His will clear to me.

Meanwhile, I am listening daily to this song and loving the peace it gives me about the future.

When the lights turn down, and the whole world dreams
And it's your turn now, close your eyes and sleep.
Sometimes it feels like forever, when it's dark outside...
Baby the sun will rise.  
Baby the sun will rise, however long the night.

If you lose your way, and your heart is torn.
May my love seem loud, louder than a thunderstorm.
Sometimes it feels like forever, when it's dark outside...
Baby the sun will rise.
Baby the sun will rise, however long the night. 

And when you feel afraid, and you see shadows on the wall
Wherever there is love, there is no fear at all.
Baby the sun will rise.
Baby the sun will rise, however long the night.
Sometimes it feels like forever, when it's dark outside...
Baby the sun will rise.
Baby the sun will rise, however long the night.

JJ Heller
{I Dream of You album}

(Youtube video of The Sun Will Rise)

Skip to 6:40 on the video