#4

What this post was going to say:

Instead it says this:

On Monday afternoon I caught a flight out of the village, headed for Anchorage where on Tuesday morning I would attend prenatal orientation, followed by my first prenatal appointment.  After a long day spent traveling, I fell into bed at 1:30am, anxious for the following morning.

I awoke Tuesday nervous for navigating the city and finding where I was going in the large Anchorage Providence complex.  I gave myself plenty of time and spent my first hour in a rundown of pregnancy in Alaska with nurse Anne.

After this hour, I finally got to meet with Lyn, my Certified Nurse Midwife, who was going to do an exam, as well as an internal ultrasound.  I was so excited to confirm that it was just one bambino in there.  But as I lay on the table and she inserted the wand, her face looked concerned.  Then worried. Then just sad.  

She couldn't find a heartbeat. And instead of measuring 10 weeks 1 day, the baby was measuring 9 weeks 1 day.  It wasn't looking good.  She sent me from her office to Advanced Sonograms of Alaska to confirm what she suspected.  

***

Turns out she was right.

My baby's heart was broken.

And now mine is too.

***

More to come...