Oregon Zoo

Yesterday we decided to head to the Oregon Zoo for one last family trip.
Logan was pretty excited.

He was roaring & talking all morning about the animals he wanted to see.

He said he wanted to see the zebras, the giraffes, the elephants & the monkeys.

The boys were super excited to be going to the zoo "together as a family."
They were excited to show Wyatt all their favorite animals.

Josh has been taking them by himself the last few months since I was pregnant & then had baby Wyatt to care for.  I was so happy to be with them again, and Josh said it was so nice to go with another adult. That extra set of eyes really took the pressure off him.

They were super cute at every exhibit.


We decided to take advantage of the nice day & this being our last trip to the zoo and visit the dinosaur exhibit.  The boys were a little timid, but warmed up.

This was their favorite dinosaur by far.
He spit on us, which the boys found hilarious.

 This is my favorite picture.

Jack was pretty scared of most of the dinosaurs.  He was scared to get too close.

I can't say I blame him.

They were pretty loud & looked quite real.


They both dislike how loud the train is, 
but love it nonetheless.

 And it was Wyatt's first train ride.

He was a perfect angel, sleeping the whole time.



{Wyatt, Mommy & Logan}

Logan waiting for our return trip to start...

Jack waiting for our return trip to start...

So cool in mom's shades

 Mommy's bundle

As we left the zoo the boys wanted to watch the train go by one last time.

We had a great time together, eating lunch in the cafe, riding the train & visiting the dinosaurs.
It's a day of memories I know Josh, the boys & I will cherish.

6 weeks

Wyatt is six weeks old today.
I can hardly believe how fast time is going.

He's starting to have more awake time, which is fun.
And last night he smiled at me for the first time.
He just laid in my arms, locked his eyes on mine, and grinned.

 His hair is still pretty dark, but in the sun it looks sort of auburn.
His eyes seem like they are going to stay blue.
And his skin is just perfection.

He is much loved by both his parents & his brothers.
Jack is super good with him,
covering him in blankets to be cozy,
and giving him his binky when he needs it.

Logan is not always as good
with Wyatt, but he does love him.

Even if his love is a little more rough.

His favorite is to sing Sunshine at bed time
and hold Wyatt.  It's so heartwarming.

And finally, here is Wyatt's famous pouty lip.
It just makes me want to kiss him.
He's such a buddy.


Coop Park

The other morning I took all three boys to the park so Josh could record himself reading the boys' favorite books.  We plan to watch one each night while he is gone.

The boys were super good.
Their new favorite thing at the park is to find sticks to play with.
It's like going on a treasure hunt.
I love it.




To be honest, going to the park with the three of them by myself lately has been full of emotions. I am both proud of myself for being able to do it, and bitter that soon I will have no choice but to do it myself. 
This last time was particularly bad because Jack's bike chain popped off and for the life of me, I couldn't get the damn thing back on. I was nearly in tears over a stupid bike chain.  But it was because I know these are the type of things I am going to have to be able to take care of myself pretty soon, and it scares the hell out of me.

I am not able. 
I am not ready.
I am not Josh.

How can I fill his shoes? How can I be what they need me to be? How can I do this?
I called Josh nearly in hysterics over this dumb bike.  Eventually I just threw it back in the car and told Jack Daddy would fix it when we got home.  But I couldn't help feeling like a failure. And like I am nowhere near capable of doing this by myself.

Lord help us all.  
This is going to be one long, tear filled road.

Camping with Nanny

Logan & Nanny

Logan, Nanny & Jack

Logan, Nanny & Jack

Making wonderful memories each year~