Around Here: Week 39

Etsy Shop

Yelling... at my kids too much.  So yesterday I wrote a little post about the change I am going to make. I am determined to not be a horrible, unhappy mother anymore. Advice welcome.

Grateful... for my mom visiting so I could get my big project wrapped up.  She also splurged and got me some Bath & Body Works candles and some Scentsy.  She also bought the boys their Halloween costumes, and they were elated and so thankful.

Opening... an Etsy shop!!! I have decided the best way to bring in some extra income while still caring for Carly is to make cards and sell them online.  I used to sell Stampin' Up! which I loved, and I still have that card making girl inside me. So I am setting her loose on my paper supply to see what we can come up with.  I am so excited!

Playing... Monopoly with Jack and planning special time (what we call it when they get to stay up past their normal bedtime) with each other brother individually as well.  It was so much fun!

Baking... pumpkin muffins to kick off fall!

Hosting... a playdate with the moms from my MOPS table.  The kids had so much fun and I really enjoyed getting to know the other women better.

Attending... book club last night.  Man those girls are a blast! I needed those laughs and that sense of camaraderie.  Like I'm not alone in this insane trip called Motherhood.

Reading... A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, Junie B. Jones, and I Liked My Life.  I am loving I Liked My Life!

Seeing... Home Again with my sister last weekend.  It's SO fun that she lives close enough to get together on occasion.

Watching... our yard bunny, Benjamin.  He's gotten really comfortable around us and doesn't run away immediately when we see him. It's super fun to let the kids get close.  Carly loves him.

Looking forward... to decorating for Halloween.

Drawing inspiration... from other mama's out there:

"If we're not enjoying life, nobody is. 

That's how much power we mom's have."
-Kristina Kuzmic

-Glennon Melton Doyle



I am NOT going to YELL at my kids ANYMORE.

Gretchen Rubin talks a lot about goals in her book Better Than Before (which I will be re-reading for pointers) and one of the things she talks about is when to start a new goal.  Sometimes a big life change is a good time (think: after a big move, a new job or a new baby); other times the best time to start is NOW.

And so today, on a random Thursday afternoon in September, I am going to make myself a resolution. I don't care that it's not a Monday, or a new month, or even a new week.  I feel like garbage right now (like I, for real, feel like a super shitty person) and I can't stand it for another second.

I am not going to wait until tomorrow morning, even, to start this new goal. I am starting it right now, while the kids are in school and the baby naps.

I am NOT going to YELL at my kids ANYMORE.

Yelling is not effective, they feel sad, I feel sad, and no one wins. We are all losing.  In addition to yelling, I am not going to swear at my kids (which I do while yelling at them.  Classy.) I am not going to say shut up (also super classy) and I am not going to put my hands on them.

Now I struggle a bit with no spankings or slapping, because I am not necessarily morally opposed to them, but I have been doing them for a while now (maybe the last three or four months) and I haven't found a change in behavior, plus I don't like how it makes me feel about myself as a mother that I am resorting to physical means of punishment when there are so many better ways to teach and consequence my children.

So there you have it.

I, Shelly Cunningham, am committing to calm parenting.  I will not yell, swear or put my hands on my kids again.

I have thought these thoughts many times in the past.  I have even blogged about peaceful parenting and wanting to make changes.  And there have been times I have actually made changes, but I always tend to slide back into yelling.

But no more.

This time I mean it.

And I promise to keep you updated.


PS- If you have any tips about how you successfully parent your crew without yelling, advice is welcome!!!


Carly May: 20 Months

  • Running
  • Shoes
  • Wyatt
  • Being outside
  • Tickling, hugging, snuggling & kissing
  • Face timing with Nanny
  • Animals (especially dogs & cats)
  • Climbing
  • Music (with dancing & lip syncing)
  • Feeding herself (and independence in general)
  • Thrill seeking
  • Babies
  • Nursing

  • Being in her high chair
  • Waiting
  • Being told no
  • Having the door shut
  • Being left out


Around Here: Week 38


Doing... so much laundry. Load after load after load on Wednesday and Thursday... but I didn't get around to folding it all, so I ended up with TEN loads in my bedroom. Blah! I am normally that obnoxious person who washes, folds & puts it away all in the same day. But since school started, I feel like life has been a whirlwind and I've been off my groove.

Reading... A Tree Grows in Brooklyn; Yes Please; and Junie B. Jones with the boys.  Yes Please is so, soo good and surprising, and A Tree Grows in Brooklyn has been such a sweet gift. I love it.  My boys think Junie B. is hilarious, so even though she's naughty, I love her. Ha!

Laboring... alongside the boys as they do homework every week.  Such a steep learning curve for them (and me!) as we adjust to this routine again.

Feeling... amazed about Carly getting her flu shot and not shedding a single tear.

Finding... my IUD on ultrasound.  My strings are a bit short and I was feeling panicked last month when I couldn't find mine. We finally got an appointment and found it is where it's supposed to be and all is well.  It was good confirmation for me that I am definitely done having babies.  The thought of being pregnant again accidentally (if my IUD was missing) had me terrified!!!

Selling... lots of baby and maternity items. As I have worked my way through the house (all storage areas & closets) per my 100 small things list, I've come across so many things we no longer use or need, so I've made good use of Facebook Market, selling things & bringing in a little bit of much needed money for our family.

Working... on the yard in preparation of winter-- tidying and weeding and organizing.  That bled into organizing the garage and sorting through the boys' toys.  I am feeling like life is much more under control now that all the bins & closets in my house aren't busting at the seams.

Pulling... in the reigns on my children.  Our fourth graders in particular have been sporting some disrespectful attitudes and trying to get away with stuff.  They spent most of this week grounded, and honestly, it's the best thing I've ever done. Ha! Okay, maybe not the best... but it was kind of exactly what we needed. Like a pause button for our family.  We have spent the afternoons finishing up homework, and playing outside together.  They've spent the mornings riding to school with Wyatt and me, and I think the extra time with myself (and Josh in the afternoons) has been really good for them.  I am hoping to carry on this family time idea, even after they're done being grounded.

Relieved... that Logan does not need a larger dose of his seizure medicine.  Communication got mixed up between his primary care doc and me, and the blood test we did was for the wrong medication.  Then I got a message saying Logan needed to increase his meds and I was freaking out. Thankfully I called his neurologist for a second opinion, and after the labs got faxed to the children's hospital, she noted that the test had been for the wrong epilepsy medication, and that she felt confident that Logan's dose is correct or we would see an increase in seizures.
I feel like we dodged a bullet and I'm so grateful. Increasing his meds when he first began the Oxcarbazepine was a nightmare and I wasn't looking forward to putting him through that again.
Because of this, I took the opportunity to read more of Seizures and Epilepsy in Children which I had started earlier this year. I am telling you, this book is like a giant hug for parents of children with seizures. There are so many positive statistics for children outgrowing epilepsy, and the book is a huge proponent of children having a childhood, regardless of their seizure status.

Shaking... my head at Carly and her antics.  She is very independent and has a super strong opinion on things.  When a door opens in this house, she thinks she should be allowed to go through it. Whether that means free reign in my craft room; the ability to run free outside; or getting into the little Legos in her brother's room.  Twice this week she took a 40 minute nap, deciding that was long enough.  I'm telling you, she's killing me softly.  She will yell at me until I pay attention, and is very specific about who she wants at certain times (Josh after work, Wyatt in the morning, and me at bedtime) and will yell our names repeatedly until we stop what we're doing and go to her.  It's most hilarious when she does it to the twins. She does not want the twins to push her in her baby stroller (a new gift from my mom, which she climbs into herself) she wants Wyatt to push her in her baby stroller, thankyouverymuch. Such a character, she is!

Giving... Carly her first pony tail.  It was pretty hilarious!

Cheering... that the Seahawks won the game Josh attended with my brother-in-law.  Blake got the tickets and gave Josh a seat in gratitude for Josh helping him move & set up house. It was totally unnecessary, but such a thoughtful gift for Josh's help.  I think he really enjoyed the day.

Impressed... by Wyatt's reading scores at school.  I knew he liked to read and seemed like a good reader, but those scores are insane. I can't wait to get his DIBELS scores next week.  I think all the reading he did (by himself and with us) over summer really increased his ability.

Crafting... (when Carly deigns it appropriate to take a nap) and feeling very anxious to share what I'm up to with you all. One more week!!! Eeeee!

Feeling... at times invisible.  I posted this about feeling run over by life currently, and shortly after that, my friend tagged me in this post, which I found so validating.  Go read it.  And know I'm sending you a virtual hug-- I see you! I know what you're doing and remembering and sacrificing.  Keep up the good work.  It will all be worth it.

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