I got Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford with the Amazon book money Josh got me for my birthday. I started it this month, and plan to read it as it was written, one chapter every month, for the rest of 2015. It will eventually take the place of my Happiness Project, which will wrap up in March. I am excited to work on being more in the moment with these boys of ours and to be a more intentional mama.
(Sidenote: in addition to working through Hands Free Mama, I am going to read Boys Should be Boys by Meg Meeker, and will re-read Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids)
I made myself a cheat sheet from the parts of the Hands Free Mama that I underlined this month.
Here's what it says:
*"Discomfort before growth" & "Hurt before healing" -- explore my own feelings as they come
*NO PHONE ZONES: School, Mealtime & Bedtime
*Facebook, Pinterest & Instagram: These limit my ability to truly live & love. Use sparingly.
*"Let them be little": Messes Happen. Hug, Don't Scold.
*It holds value even if it's not on my to-do list!!!
*Listen, look in their eyes, be present.
-To Helpers: with dinner, with lunch & with laundry
-To Activities: going outside, playing Play Doh and playing Uno
-To More: MORE hugs, MORE stories, MORE of my time
*** Remember to "linger" ***
I will admit, the no phone zones are hard to stick with. But I am determined. It is also hard to remember that social media does not enhance my life. But with every "yes" I utter to the boys, I get the ultimate satisfaction of seeing their faces light up. Priceless, I tell you.
My main goal before I start the next chapter, is to be the role model. To control my own reactions. I am also spending special time with the boys three times a week, working on connecting. Once a week, each brother will get two hours of one on one time with me during afternoon quiet time. So far, they are loving it!
I am working hard to do my best in this moment.
Letting go of the past, and not worrying for the future.
The boys make all the effort worth it.