Around Here: Week 33 {2018}

Reading... In Shock by Rana Awdish.  It's about a doctor who herself had a traumatic first birth and recovery (to say the least) and it changed how she viewed her patients from there forward.  It's a fascinating read.  I'm almost done.  I started The Perfect Couple by Elin Hilderbrand, which my mom gave me (a signed copy!!!) when I was there, and I can't wait to finish In Shock so I can dive fully into that one. I am also listening to No One Cares About Crazy People on audio.

Buying... a lovely stack of books from Powell's while we were in Portland.  My parents kept the kids so Josh could take me and we perused the shelves. I was so happy to get my hands on the first two books in the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series, and I have the third one on order.  I also got The Witches of New York by Ami Mckay simply because I love her book The Birth House so much.  And then I got These Granite Islands based on a recommendation from goodreads and Perfect Match by Jodi Picolt because it sounded so intriguing.

Celebrating... 14 days seizure free for Logan.  He hasn't gone two weeks without a seizure since early spring.  It was a lovely respite for my mama heart.

Enjoying... girls night with my friend Shana when she came over Thursday after my kids were in bed.  I love that girl and she just gets my heart.  She has all girls, a singleton, then twins, so we're like living opposite lives. It's so funny!  We ate cheesecake and stayed up way too late. My neighbor even texted me and asked if everything was okay cause the lights were on so late at night. Haha!

Suffering... with all the wildfire smoke.  Our air quality has been terrible here in Washington State and we've been having to keep Wyatt inside to keep his poor lungs healthy.  At first I was still letting him play outside a little bit, but his peak flow numbers were dropping like crazy even in the limited amount of time I was allowing, so we kept him in for two entire days and saw a huge improvement, so he's got to stay in until the air clears.  Sorry, buddy!

Growing... our garden like crazy!  We've got lots of cucumber and tomatoes!  The peppers seem to have died, and we harvested the corn, so they are done, and we're waiting for the sunflower to bloom and for the pumpkins to get going, but the cucs and tomatoes are going gangbusters!  And our sweet watermelons, too!  So cute!!!

Doing... load after load of laundry, grocery shopping, bill paying, phone-call making, mess-organizing and even washing and vacuuming my car.  I don't know what got into me, but I went with it and did all.the.chores this week.  It felt so nice!

Crying... for no reason at all Tuesday night at bedtime. I don't know if I was overtired or just emotional, or what, but it was ridiculous. Luckily my husband is used to my sensitivity and just hugged me while I wept. As we talked a little I realized that I had been kind of holding my breath about something going wrong with Logan or Wyatt because it has been so long since either of them has been sick.  Honestly, I was just so grateful to have had the break.  And the good, hard cry did help me sleep really good that night!

Loving... all the baseball that's been happening around here.  Josh took Logan to get a bigger left handed mitt since he outgrew his old one, and it's reignited a love for the game in all three boys.  They are out there everyday with Josh throwing and catching and pitching and hitting and it makes me smile so big.  They love it.  They all come back in telling me stories of amazing hits and awesome catches. It's so cute. One afternoon Josh wasn't here and I caught Wyatt sitting on the porch with his ball and glove, just wishing daddy was home to play ball. So sweet!

Opening... fun mail from my blog-friend Ashley! I won her giveaway from her "Five Favorites" post and it was such a sweet package to open.  There was a new-to-me book, adorable cup, reusable straws, fancy napkins and yummy strawberry-lemonade goat soap included.  And bless her heart (!) she also included Box Tops for my kids' school since she homeschools. She is officially my boys' favorite person now. hah!

Repeating... "This Moment" to myself over and over as a way of staying in the NOW.  Truly, we really only have "this moment" and that's it.  Reminding myself of that throughout the day is helping me say "yes" to my kids (Yes to putting coins in the fun machine at the library; Yes to trying a new park; Yes to playing a game); "yes" to myself (Yes to pulling over and taking a picture of the sunset; Yes to a bubblebath; Yes to taking extra time to sing lullabies to Carly at bedtime); and "yes" to experiences (Yes to trying snorkeling at the river with my kids; Yes to the big slide at the pool before summer ends; Yes to trying new foods).  It also helps me not feel overwhelmed/scared about the future.  "This moment" is the only one I have to survive.  That's pretty manageable.

Witnessing... yet another of Logan's seizures as he broke his seizure-free streak Friday morning.  Jack came into my room just after 8:00am to tell me Logan was having a seizure in their room.  I followed Jack into their room and found Logan kneeling on the floor, having a seizure.  I helped him sit on the edge of the bed and he continued seizing for another five minutes.  It was his longest seizure to date, and was absolutely terrifying to witness.  Not because of his body- his body was actually quite still- but because of how vacant he was from his body.  During the seizure he just continually looked to the right, nodded his head up and down, looked as if he were chewing something and was breathing heavily, almost panting.  Over and over, the cycle continued.  I kept asking if it was done, if he could answer me, and he couldn't.  Finally, at just shy of the six minute mark, it stopped and he rubbed his head and laid back, closing his eyes, talking some gibberish and sighing.
There is no need to call 911 or take him to the doctor unless his seizure is longer than 15 minutes.  So we just kept an eye on him here at the house.  He tried to take a nap, but soon he got an intolerable headache.  It got so bad, in fact, that he vomited.  I felt so bad for him.
Of course now my concern is what to do about school.  A six minute seizure is serious. It's scary.  I don't know if he needs an aid with him full time, I don't know if we should inform all the fifth graders that he has epilepsy and what the symptoms look like so that if he's having one they can inform an adult (an idea that he HATES and says he will never agree to)... So far, he has always had an aura and been able to tell someone when he has a seizure coming on. But his embarrassment has kept him (in the past) from telling anyone at school that a seizure is coming. He has just sat at his desk and waited for it to pass.  That was fine when his seizures lasted thirty seconds.  That's not fine when they are nearing the ten minute mark.  He HAS to tell someone, and I'm just not sure I can trust that he will.  He's ten.  His pride and embarrassment factor are pretty high currently.
I will be talking to the nurse (who's amazing) Monday afternoon.  I am sure she will have some advice. In the meantime, Logan and I are talking over different ideas and I am praying for clarity on what the right thing is.  The best part is that he has his neurology appointment the first week of September. So we just have to get something temporary set up at school for the first week, then we can pick the neurologists' brain about any further questions we have.

Catching... up with my sister when she came to visit with her crew Friday afternoon.  We've both been stuck inside with our kiddos most of the week due to poor air quality from the wildfires, so we were more than happy to throw them together for a few hours and have the chance to hang out.  The kids were overjoyed to be together, playing Legos and watching movies, and Roxanne and I never run out of things to talk about.  We went through all of Carly's clothes, which was super fun, and sorted through the size 3 stuff that has been handed down to her (thanks Raeann, JoAnne & Jolene!) in preparation for fall.  It helped get me excited for fall the same way shopping for books did. (Cold weather doesn't have to be sad... Imagine Carly in a sweater dress, and me on the couch with a good book!)

Feeling... proud of my boys.  When one brother expressed feeling upset about the thought of going to sleep alone while the other two stayed up for "special night" with mom, the two who were going to stay up asked if the other brother could join them so they could all be together and he wouldn't have to go to bed in their room alone.  When I said yes, they all gave each other (and me) a giant family hug and tears stung my eyes. Sometimes, it feels really nice to know you must be doing something right.



Around Here: Week 32 {2018}

Reading... An American Marriage and In Shock.  An American Marriage is slow, but good; and In Shock is so good. I am totally interested and inspired by this doctor's true story of what happened to her during her first pregnancy.   I finished Goodbye, Vitamin, which was really good, but too short (!) this week as well.

Visiting... a new park with Carly and the boys (that we drove to) and she calls it the "car-park" since we drove to it instead of walking.  She loved the sand box and swing that were there, and the boys had a lot of fun, too.  I'm hoping to visit a few more new parks before summer ends after seeing how much fun they had.

Eating... homemade pizza with Uncle Samuel, Grandma Carol & Papa Carl Saturday night.  It was such a fun night, watching Diary of a Wimpy Kid with the kids, chowing down on pizza & ice cream.  Josh makes the best pizza and we kind of can't wait for his parents and brother to move here for good!

Sorting... through all the kids' clothes for fall- whew! What a chore!  But it made shopping for school clothes so much easier later this week.  So I'm glad I did it!  (Even if making the twins try on everything in their closet made me want to stab my eyes out with a spork!)

Road tripping... to Vancouver to see family one last time before school starts.

Surprising... my little brother for his 29th birthday.  His girlfriend and my mom threw the sweetest party with all his old friends.  It was super fun.  I just adore his girlfriend (as do my kiddos!) and it was fun to celebrate him. I hope when my boys grow up, they have someone who loves them as much as Bri loves Dallas.

Celebrating... our 15 year anniversary by leaving all the kids with my parents overnight.  We went to Long Beach and spent the night in the sweetest cottage, enjoying every kid-free moment.  We talked, uninterrupted, for the whole drive there, and I never once had to climb in the backseat to break up a fight. Hah!  It was the first time I had left Carly with anyone other than Josh overnight, and I was a little nervous about how she and my mom would sleep, but my mom said she did great!  Josh and I got pizza and a Redbox, enjoying the evening in our cottage, and the next day, when we got back to Vancouver, we saw The Equalizer 2 and went out to dinner at Red Lobster (my favorite!) before heading back to the kids.  It was so, so lovely to get away and celebrate each other.  I am so thankful for Josh and our marriage.  He is my rock and my very best friend.

Getting... a haircut that has me feeling fresh & flirty after letting it go way too long without one.  My hair is always bad for the first few years after a baby, and I am definitely in that space right now.  It's growing back in, but is still pretty thin.  This new cut has it feeling much better!

Buying... fun lotions, sprays & body washes at Bath & Body Works at the mall while shopping for school clothes with my mom and the boys.  Josh's mom took Carly so mom and I could focus on the boys while shopping (which was so awesome!) and we managed to get everything they need for the school year.  Shoes, socks, pants & shirts. Done and done. Phew!  I am so grateful for my mom and dad's help.

Loving... the twins eating Panda Express at the mall with chopsticks!  They're so brave- not just for trying chopsticks- but for trying anything.  Nothing intimidates them.  I wish I could be brave like them.

Sleeping... with Carly between Josh and I while staying at my parent's house. She won't sleep in the playpen there (she just cries pitifully when we put her in there, and I can't stand it) so we let her sleep with us, which is 20% really sweet and 80% really uncomfortable.  You moms who co-sleep with your babies have my total bow-down respect.  I don't know how you do it!  The whole time we are there, I am counting down the nights until I am going to get home and have my bed to myself again!  We joke that she likes us to sleep like the letter H.  Josh and I are the poles of the H and she is the middle.  Her feet are in my back and her head is in Josh's back. It's impossible!

Hanging... with my sweet friend Brittany and her crew Friday morning.  Together we have six boys and it was so fun to have them all together.  She is the sweetest mama, with the best heart.  She is totally real, down to earth and completely inspiring to me.  I love you, B!

Crying... about parenting when things got hard one night this week.  The kids are testing out lying and it's hard to not take it personal, like I'm a failure as a parent when they look me in the eyes and lie.  Josh assured me that it's not personal, it's a phase, and that we just have to let them know it's not acceptable.  I cried a little more, for good measure (unbeknownst to said naughty child) and then tried to let it go.  Gosh, parenting is not for the weak of heart!

Swimming... at the Washougal River, where I grew up swimming.  I absolutely love swimming there myself, and I love taking my kids there even more than that.  It was, hands down, my favorite part of our vacation.  All four of our kids loved it there.  The twins swam and snorkled and rode the rapids.  Wyatt jumped off the rocks and caught crawdads.  Carly swam and played and loved every minute of it.  My heart was so happy there.

Visiting... my grandparents for the day in Rockaway Beach.  It was so nice to see them.  We went out to lunch, did a little shopping at Flamingo Jim's, did a puzzle with Grandma and got ice cream.  Our visits never feel long enough, but I am so grateful we live close enough to visit once in a while.