We've decided that this fall we will be enrolling all three Cunningham boys in public school. This is a hard fought decision, made with much prayer and thought, and a huge pro/con list. But what it boils down to is they're ready for it. The bummer is, I'm not. I'm not ready to have three kids in school. I'm not ready for our days to be spent apart. But it's not about me. It's about them.
So I am going to take a deep breath and let go. I'm going to let go because Logan & Jack are ready for recess and friendship and cafeteria lunch. I'm going to let go because Wyatt is ready for choice time and calendar and following his kindergarten teachers' rules. I'm going to let go not because it's easiest for me, but because it's best for them.
This winter when Carly joined our family, homeschooling became very challenging. Nearly impossible. I found I had lost my zeal for teaching and my patience. Being a nice "teacher" made it very difficult to be a nice "mom". It zapped my energy and left me feeling empty. My desire in homeschooling was to make it a positive, loving, fulfilling learning environment, and if I'm being honest (which I strive to do here in this space) it wasn't anymore.
I (obviously) reserve the right to go back to homeschooling at any point, because it is something that worked for us and we had some great times together, but I am moving towards fall ever hopeful that the boys will grow and learn and be challenged, and that I can continue letting go, because that's what's best for them.