Holy Civilization

After we dropped things off at the hotel, we went to Walmart where I nearly broke down in tears at the sight of the produce section. I didn't cry. Instead I took this picture so I can always remember to be grateful for fresh fruits & vegetables!

I bought myself a personal size salad, as well as some razors & shaving cream.  Choosing razors & shaving cream took way longer than it should have because of how many options there were. Holy cow!

Now keep in mind, I haven't set foot in a grocery store for nine months. I haven't been around large crowds of people, in traffic or listening to the radio.  So I will admit that any time we leave the hotel, I am on a bit of a stimulus overload.  It's overwhelming.

In the car I am also experiencing quite a bit of motion sickness.
I am hopeful it will go away in time.

The twins are hilarious in the car. Telling Josh if the light is red. Encouraging him to go faster, while at the same time telling him the police will get him if he makes bad choices.  

On Sunday morning Logan was sitting in his booster seat and from the backseat asks, "Does a red hand mean your hand gets runned over?"  I thought for a second, wondering what in the world he was talking about, then I realized he could see the crosswalk signs.  He thought the "Don't Walk" red hand meant getting run over.  I told him that it is a warning to wait to cross.  He seemed relieved!

I am not the only one have adjustment issues.  Wyatt is also having a really hard time.  I mentioned in my previous post that he struggled with the turbulence on the planes.  Once we got to our hotel (Quality Inn & Suites in downtown Anchorage) which I love, he had a hard time because it's a suite.  So the first room you enter is a "living room" with a couch and table and TV and mini-kitchen area.  The second room is where the beds are, and then there's a bathroom.  Any time the five of us were not together in the same area for the first two days, he would call for whoever was missing.  "Daddy? Where's Daddy???  Logan? Where's Logan???"

Then in the car it was the same thing. Jack was sitting in the way back, where Wyatt couldn't see him, and he asked Josh, "Where's Jack?" He is very concerned with where everyone is and keeping tabs on us.  I feel bad that he's having so much anxiety.

In the hotel "living room", he sat for probably twenty minutes on the floor, staring up at the ceiling fan, watching it twirl around in circles.  He was completely mesmerized. 

But the very worst thing is that he is TERRIFIED of the elevator. It sort of bumps along, and he HATES it. His whole body tenses up while we are waiting for it. Then the door closes once we're inside and he says, "Door open? Door open?"  It's just the saddest thing I've ever seen. And we've been so busy running errands that we are in the thing ten times a day!  We just hug him and tell him he's safe.  Once we get out he says, in a breathless voice, "We did it! Hooray!"

The twins, on the other hand, seem to be adjusting very well. Although last night at 7:30, Jack was like, "I'm tired!" and we never (ever) hear that from them. So I know all the stimulation is getting to them as well!

Mostly all the twins care about is eating at "Old McDonald's" and playing in the Play Place, which we have promised to do once we are in Vancouver.

Our first night of sleep in the hotel was awful.  Wyatt was really confused about where we were and he hasn't slept in a playpen since camping last year.  I think he was both scared and uncomfortable. Eventually I brought him to bed with us, but that didn't really do the trick either.  I think he just needed reassurance, so finally I held him, chest to chest, and he fell asleep on me, around two in the morning.  He had finally dozed off and was sleeping sound when Logan woke me up at 4:30am for a drink of water (Have I mentioned how DRY Alaska is???) and Jack got up to pee at 5:30am. sigh.

But Josh and I, troopers that we are, decided that despite not getting any sleep the night before that Sunday was going to be a great day anyway. So we packed up the kids and decided to head to The Alaska Zoo.

On the way to the zoo, Josh's girlfriend (AKA his sexy-voiced GPS) was giving him the strangest directions.  I was super confused, because it seemed we were driving deeper into the city, not away from it, toward the zoo.  But I am so mixed up and backwards here, that I didn't say anything.  Then I saw the Starbuck's sign, like a beacon in the night.

He surprised me by finding one nearby so I could get a *much needed* coffee fix before we set off on our next adventure.  

He stayed in the car with the kids while I ran in, and when the barista asked me what I wanted, I couldn't remember the name of what I wanted or the size options.  I laughed and she asked if it had been a while. I told her it had been nine months.

"Were you boycotting us?" she asked laughing.  I explained my situation while she made my drink, and then as she handed it to me she said with a smile, "Welome back to civilization."

Indeed!

Taking to the air

 Well, the first leg of our journey is over, and I am posting this from our hotel room in Anchorage.  

Our journey began Saturday morning when our charter came to pick us up at 11am in Marshall.  Friday afternoon the boys had a playdate with Michael & Aaliyah so their mom could (try to)  pack-- she still had her nearly two-year-old twins with her-- so I'm not sure how helpful it was, but the kids were cuh-razy having fun and talking about leaving the next day.

Friday night Josh and I finished packing and finalized the "last minute" list for Saturday morning.  We woke up around 3:30am that morning, and both struggled to fall back asleep.  Finally it was time to get up and we ran round like chickens with our heads cut off trying to get everything together.

Josh started loading the van and Wyatt was insufferable. It was like he thought we were going to leave without him, poor kid!  Finally everything was in the van, the garbage was out, and the lights were off... It was time to go.  

Wyatt stood in the living room saying, "Airplane, WAHOO!" and jumping up with both feet off the ground, over and over again. He was so excited!

I have to admit, I teared up a bit leaving the house.  It's hard for me to say goodbye to this place that is our home, even if it is just for the summer. We locked the door and headed out to the van.

 Once we reached the airport runway, it was time for goodbyes.  Josh said he just kept hugging and hugging Susan (who won't be back in Marshall next year) because they have been through so much together.  

They started teaching here together two years ago, went through new teacher orientation together, and have just been there for each other so much. We joke that she was his second wife.  

 Meanwhile, Bruce (our ERA agent in Marshall) was unloading mail off the plane that came, and Martin (our Assistant IL, aka Assistant Principal) was helping throw our luggage on.

 Then Wyatt and the twins gave Susan farewell hugs.  I remember my first gathering of teacher folk the first year I was there, and Susan asked if she could hold Wyatt. She and I hardly knew each other, but she said she needed a baby fix, so she walked around with chubby little Wy on her hip, and I knew we could be friends.  After all, she loved my kids!

 All too soon it was time for us to say goodbye.  We got a couple of pictures,

 and I took some of her and Leah as well.

 Then I hugged her (maybe nearly to death) and thanked her for being my sanity, my friend and told her I would miss her so much.  Beyond words, really.  

Then I told her that I am so happy for her.  I know she's going to grow and blossom and have amazing opportunities in Mountain Village since the district is headquartered there.

We also promised to text each other randomly and stay in touch. I hope that we do.

 After a tearful goodbye, we started loading the caravan. The pilots were super friendly, and the whole experience felt surreal.

We chartered from Marshall to Bethel on ERA along with the Gaylord family (Joe, Krista, Aaliyah, Michael, Khasia & Khaila) and Leah.

 Wyatt wanted to sit with Daddy.

 That lasted until it got turbulent, then he switched and wanted to sit with me. Somehow, I managed to rock him to sleep.

 Flying to Bethel is so much fun.  Our little village is a tiny dot on this HUGE Alaskan landscape, and it takes my breath away every time.

 Josh and I were talking Saturday morning saying we still can't believe most days that this is our life. That we live in the middle of nowhere, with our children, shooting moose and being stuck indoors nine months of the year!

 Wyatt did not like the turbulence at all (neither did I!) and he kept going, "Kinda scary! Kinda scary!"

 Joe's little one didn't like it either!  

Josh snapped that picture of her. So sad!

 Finally we made it to Bethel, and stacked all our luggage to go from the ERA terminal to the Alaska Airlines terminal.  You take the shuttle, which is less than five minutes.

When we landed, we went to the counter to pay for our charter, and the man behind the counter said, as we teased that he could put it all on Joe or Leah's credit cards, that we all looked like we could afford the entire flight. It felt like a slam, although I'm not sure exactly what he meant.  It was uncomfortable.

While we were waiting for our shuttle, the twins were sitting on a bench together, and they were being so good. I was feeling all impressed with my parenting, until Leah came over. They were like, "Hey, Leah, can you move? We can't see!" 

Hahaha! I thought they were just being good, patient boys... What I didn't notice was the TV across the room they were watching!

 Once we arrived in the Alaska terminal, we were able to check our baggage and the guys went to get lunch at Brother's for us to take on the plane with us.

(The flight from Bethel to Anchorage is only an hour on Alaska Airlines, so there's no food service.)

 While we were in the airport waiting, the boys played Tablets with Michael & Aaliyah, and we also used the bathroom. While in the bathroom, I waved my hand in front of the paper towel dispenser, and paper towels appeared magically.  Jack goes, "That.is.amazing!"

With tons of help from Leah, we managed to get through security and onto the second plane.  Our flight attendant, Tim, was awesome. Gave Josh and I each a full can of Coke instead of just a glass, and was just very kind and cheerful. It makes flying so much easier when you have a helpful attendant!

 The view out the window was amazing. The boy sitting by the window was nice enough to let me snap a few pictures. I wonder if it will ever seem less inspiring.  Less breath taking. 

I hope not.

 All three kids were so well behaved, the entire day.  

Patient and good at waiting, and really good listeners.

 The plane ride flew right on by as they played their Tablets.

Logan in particular was tickled that we were flying on a jet. While we were still in the terminal, he had asked Josh, "If it's a jet, dad, will it have shooters?!?" all excited.  Josh cracked up and told him, no.

 Wyatt got a little scared when that flight had turbulence as well, but he got to watch Baby Einstein (his favorite thing in the whole world!) so that helped.  He would just turn and hug me when it got bumpy and say, "Kinda bumpy, mom!" 

 Before we knew it, the flight was over and we were making our way down to luggage pick up.  I had my hands full of backpacks and coats, and Josh was holding Wyatt and his stuff. So Leah was the one stuck with both twins, heading toward the escalator to go down to baggage claim.  Jack was fine. Stepped on with one foot, then the other.  

Logan, on the other hand, Spider-man'ed the glass panel on the side of the escalator and ended up with his feet about four steps apart, and both hands gripped on the side rail.  I was dying, laughing so hard.  Watching them as they adjust to civilization again is going to be so much fun!

After our long day of flights, Josh got the rental car and we headed, with Leah in tow, to the hotel to drop off our luggage.

Then we were off on our next adventure:

The store!

{Stay tuned... more to come!}

Wild Air

Yesterday, in the midst of packing, and watching mid-May snow fall outside my window, I posted a list of things I won't miss about Alaska.

---

Today, as I finalized my last-minute list for tomorrow morning, finished cleaning the house, and contemplated our second year here, I started thinking about what I will miss about Alaska.

 I will miss the slow pace of life.

I will the peace.

I will miss the blue skies,

the mountains, 

and the nothingness that stretches as far as the eye can see, and beyond.

I will miss the simple life we have created here.

Today as I finish packing and start praying for clear skies and safe travels, 

I am remembering the months-- 

August when the land was green and the river was flowing; 

October when we trick-or-treated in FREEZING weather, nearly being blown away; 

November when I hosted my first Thanksgiving 

and we celebrated the amazing community we have in the teachers around us; 

New Years when I resolved to own my truth; 

April when the snow finally began to melt, and we were once again able to play out.

It's been an amazing year.  Full of growth and learning and challenge.  

I am happy to be closing it with a grateful heart.

I am grateful for my friends in Marshall.

I am grateful for my children, and my stay-at-home mom status.

I am grateful for my husband, who loves me so completely.

I am grateful for the opportunity to live outside my comfort zone.

Challenging as it is, Alaska has become home, and we belong here.

That said, we are also grateful for the opportunity to travel home, to Washington, to see our loved ones, experience all that life has to offer there and make memories to last us a lifetime.

Tomorrow our plane comes at eleven. And while I might tear up saying goodbye to Susan and our home, I will also feel a flutter of excitement, for the next set of adventures we are about to embark on.

things I won't miss...

While in Washington, there are a few things about Alaska that I won't miss.

In no particular order, they are:

• SNOW in May (like this afternoon...)
• Having to use the Brita filter to fill our water bottles
• Making POWDERED MILK
• Using humidifiers every night, no matter the season
• Baking BREAD
• Power surges that make the time on my oven jump ahead
• Making TORTILLAS
• MUD
• Needing to plan EVERYTHING in advance to allow for shipping
• The constant use of lotion & chapstick 
• And finally, all the ciivak (pronounced jee-vuck) or FLIES as we say in English

One month left...

We have one month left until Wyatt turns two.  Until he is, officially, a toddler, and not a baby. Oh, he will still be my baby... he'll always be my baby... but I reckon I ought to really (really) stop calling him "the baby".
For reals.

{walking to the post office}

As I type, he is upstairs taking a nap.  Today has been a busy day.  I am packing and doing laundry and trying to figure out what strange meals I can make with the food we have left considering the ingredients we are missing... kind of a "food adventure" if you will.

Yesterday I was having anxiety. Horrible, heart pounding, crazy-inducing anxiety.  I woke up in what felt like the middle of a panic attack.  Finally, I surrendered and took one of my anti-anxiety pills. I hate to take them, I'm not sure why. Maybe I feel like I am giving in when I take them.

{the steps up to the rail in front of our house}

I was grateful to wake up today feeling better. Wyatt must have known I was feeling better this morning cause the kid threw some killer tantrums.  It's weird, he doesn't like being told no. And he doesn't like being told what to do. And he doesn't like trying on clothes so his mother can decide what to take to Washington or not.  Hmm... he must be trying on his "terrible twos" before they officially arrive.  That's just like him to be doing his homework, hitting milestones early and testing his mother!

All jokes aside, the next week is going to be a tough one for him (and therefore me).  A lot of changes and transitions, and I am just praying we are up for the challenge.  

Let me give you an example.  Wyatt has napped, in his bed, after being rocked to sleep in the dark,  in his bedroom upstairs, for NINE MONTHS. He has not missed a single nap since we arrived in Marshall back in August.

Saturday during nap time, we will be in a busy airport terminal awaiting our flight out of Bethel.

{snack picnic on the rail}

Also, Wyatt has not sat in a car seat (except twice when Josh took him to the clinic by himself) since August.

He hasn't sat in grass, seen traffic or listened to the radio.

And as nervous as I have been for myself, (Will I get overstimulated?  Will I miss the quiet of Marshall? Will I adjust quickly?) I hadn't given much thought to how Wyatt or the twins would react.  Until last weekend. I started thinking of the logistics of travel: backpacks, snacks, entertainment.  Then it dawned on me that nap time would be disrupted, and I started making mental checklists of all the things that will seem foreign to him. And them.

I am hopeful that if I remain calm, he will feel safe and trust that we know what the heck we're doing.  And I hope that since his body is on such a good routine, he will sleep wherever and whenever I need him to, despite the distractions.  (Hey, a girl can dream!)

Meanwhile, I am looking forward to being home and planning his birthday party.  It's going to be Super Why themed, and I can't wait!  Last year he had Hand, Foot & Mouth disease, so he didn't really do the whole "party" thing and he didn't open his presents.  He mostly cried.

{Playing on the tundra in front of our house.
Our bedroom window is the top second from the right.}

This year I am hoping for smiles, laughter and a whole load of messy-faced-cake-eating!

{June 18, 2011}

We love you, Super Wy. 

You are such a blessing to our family!