Around Here: Week 19 2025

 {May 4th - 10th}

Honoring... Josh's dad, Papa Carl, on his birthday, as well as the anniversary of his death. We love and miss him so much. I always think of him when I see dragonflies. And the boys often bring him up when discussing projects or mechanical things. I think that would make him happy. 

Waking up... and going for a walk on Sunday. I've just been on edge and want to keep the anxiety at bay and the stress under control.  Thankfully a walk outside does just that.

Sitting.. on the porch reading, and loving it so much. Our flowers are starting to really come in, and the porch swing is so lovely. When I sit there I can't help but feel rich.  What a blessing that space is. 

Reading... The Half Moon by Mary Beth Keane; Enchantment by Katherine May; The Lost Wife by Susanna Moore; It Didn't Start With You by Mark Wolynn; and Three Women by Lisa Taddeo. The Half Moon was good, a warm read. Enchantment was meh.  The Lost Wife was engrossing, but the writing wasn't as good as it could have been. It Didn't Start With You offers so much insight about generational trauma. And Three Women is shocking and an absolute page turner!

Planting... flowers with Carly after stopping at Lowe's for plants and supplies before school one day. She was so happy to help, and I let her, even though she made an absolute mess with the dirt and pots. Growing up, I always helped my across the street neighbor Kerry put in her flower bed, and I always looked forward to it so much. So I channeled Kerry's relaxed demeanor and let Carly go wild. 

Attending... Jazzercise twice this week, per usual, and feeling grateful for those few hours to myself. The songs, the comradery, the strength building and the sweating... it all just feels healing. 

Grateful... that Josh was able to do a Costco run for me after a day spent doing professional development in Wenatchee. He is the best!!

Going... to an appointment with someone who needed support, and feeling grateful to live in Washington state where a childs' voice is heard and respected.

X-raying... Carly's arm after she injured her arm falling off her bike. The pain and tenderness continued for a few days, so we decided to go in and have it checked out. Thankfully (!) it was not broken, only sprained.  She kept a sling on it for a few days, and then it finally started feeling better.

Feeling... frazzled on behalf of Logan who showed up at a baseball game to ump, only to find another ump already there. Thankfully, he thought quickly and checked in with his boss.  The mistake was not Logan's, but he has a car and was willing to go to the new location and ump for that game. He was a little late, but made it and the game went off without a hitch. Poor kid! The other two days he umped things were much simpler and he was glad!

Loving... Carly's sense of "fashun".  She wore head to toe strawberries Wednesday to her school's spring BBQ because she knows that her Aunt Julie loves strawberries and Julie was meeting her there since I had to work. (We are so blessed to have such an awesome village for our kids. Thank you, Julie!) She also wore flower earrings this week, and even some fried egg earrings. I just can't with her. 

Subbing... at a new (to me) school after Carly's closed due to electrical issues. Unfortunately, it was not the warmest welcome and I started my day crying in the empty classroom, waiting for the students to show up. Thankfully I managed to pull myself together before the kids showed up. And oh, was I ever happy when they came! I always love seeing kids from our school, and they always seem to light up when they see me. It's truly the best!

Coloring... one night after the kids were in bed. My sister often uses creativity to bring her stress level down, and I figured it was worth a try! I loved the flowers I colored and it was very zen. 

Opening... a text message from Josh and instantly bursting into tears. It was exactly what I needed to hear:

"While you're overthinking

and doubting yourself,

someone else is looking at you

wondering how you do it all.

Keep going."

Getting... the all clear from my yearly mammogram. That's always a relief for this health worrier.  I always thought mammograms would be more painful, but for me they haven't been too bad!

Showing... up a week early for the twins' doctor appointment. I was so annoyed at myself... but not as annoyed as they were. Hahaha! 

Loving... our local library's quarterly book guide.  I always get the best recommendations of books to add to my TBR or find on audio via the library Libby app. 

Titrating... Logan off his seizure meds as they were aggravating acne all over his face and torso. As we titrated him off one med, Depakote, we were titrating him onto another, Zonisamide. Fingers crossed it works and he doesn't suffer any terrible side effects.

Spending... half the day subbing in first grade and getting to see my little kinders from student teaching. Oh how I love those cuties! I also adore their teacher, who left me a Teacher Appreciation gift, even though I am just a substitute. It meant more to me than I can even put into words that she thought of me. 

Grateful... for my staff and teacher friends who show up for me and my girl when I can't be there. This week I was subbing during Jog-A-Thon and both Carly's classroom staff assistant and her teacher sent me pictures of Carly. It meant so much to me. 

Laughing... as Josh and Logan arm wrestled and Josh won. He said he promised to enjoy the victory because he's sure it won't be long before Logan is the winner. 

Watching... Carly at gymnastics this week and feeling so inspired by her drive to keep working at it. It makes me realize that all the things I do are things that I was good at pretty much from the beginning. I'm not good at, or comfortable with, failure. I could learn a thing or two from this girl of mine.
Her twirling bar from Amazon came this week, and she is thrilled to have it set up in the garage. I have sacrificed parking in the garage for the time being so she has a place to practice bar and beam and cartwheels. 

Listening... to this weeks' De-Influenced podcast and loving it, as always. I also found the song "You're ok" by Ron Pope, and found myself crying as I listened and sending it to my sister who said it's been on repeat since I sent it. Isn't that the best? When you find a song that speaks to you like that?

Watching... Perfect Match and enjoying all the drama. I really love trash reality TV.  It's my guilty pleasure.

Going... to tricities with Wyatt's friend Kaeden and his mom Jodi. Wyatt and Kaeden have been friends for two or three years now, and I've gotten pretty close with Jodi. We took the boys go-carting, where we got to visit and they got to go as fast as they could. We all had the best time! Then we went out for lunch, eating on the patio in view of the river.  It was just so fun and great to spend some special time with just Wyatt. That so rarely happens. 

In love... with Giselle Dekel's new art piece for my laundry room. I ordered "Pile of Laundry" from her website, and then a frame from Amazon and I am in love with the result. I teased my kids and told them it was a "self portrait". 

Angry... at one of my boys for dragging another of their brothers into their own bad decision making. I hate that I can't (won't) go into it here, but if you are struggling with parenting and wondering if any of your efforts are worth it, you're not alone. This job is so hard. And so thankless. 

Learning... all there is to know about dinosaurs from Carly who is currently obsessed.  She is watching a cartoon version of Jurassic Park everyday and loves gathering dino facts from the episodes. 

Admiring... Logan & his cute girlfriend Elyssa. They're just adorable. I love them. 

Writing... in my journal. I am finding as the kids have gotten older, my journal has become even more important. There are so many things about parenting older kids & teens that I can't readily share on Facebook or the blog and I need that story, and the accompanying emotions, go to somewhere. 

Enjoying... pizza and cookies with Carly & Wyatt while watching Elemental (have you seen it? I love it!) in my bedroom. It was a cozy night with my youngest two and just what I needed. 

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The text Josh sent.
Words of affirmation are absolutely my love language.

Around Here: Week 18 2025

 {April 27th - May 3rd}

{This wishie floated into my van while it was parked in the garage.
Hi Grandpa!}

List of to do's to maintain my sanity

Inhaling... deeply every time I step outside our front door because our lilac tree is blooming and the scent is so incredible. I have been driving Carly crazy asking her everyday, "Can you smell that? {deep inhale} Isn't it so good?!?" She rolls her eyes and laughs at me. Haha! But I know that this is such a short season, so I have to enjoy every minute of it!

Filling... my gas tank up in what felt like the gas tank fill up of shame. Haha! I had forgotten I needed gas, and drove Carly to school, running late, in my pajamas, and knew I had to get gas immediately. So there I stood at the pump in my hot pink crocs and pj bottoms. Oh man! 

Trying... to get okay with Carly doing her own hair. She always wants to do it, but she needs practice. So I'm trying to be flexible when I can about letting her go wild. So on the weekends I let her, and even some days at school (especially if she had a bath the night before) but other days I do it. It's so hard to let go of control over that!

Nearly crying... when my friend Amy sent me photos of Logan umping at her sons' baseball game. I was so grateful to have a sneak peek into his first job. She said he did such a great job, despite some hecklers, and was completely professional. Gosh, I'm so proud of this kid I could explode!

Setting... up a "gym" for Carly in the garage with a twirling bar, cheese mat and gymnastic mat so she can practice gymnastics even more at home. This means I will be sacrificing parking in the garage for a while. But it's something I'm willing to do for her passion. 

Seeing... my sister-in-law try on a wedding dress she ordered. It's a cool service where you pay a little money and they ship you the dress to try on in your own home and then you can either send it back or pay more to purchase it. Her and Josh's little brother Samuel will be getting married in the fall of 2026. 

Letting... the twins spend a lot of time with their friends Kendal, Kendall and Paislee.  We refer to them as "the Kendals and Paislee". Haha! They are the sweetest girls and I'm grateful my boys have them as their friends. 

Facing... some really hard mental health stuff with my kids at the beginning of the week, and it made for a rough start. We were up together until 2:00am. But these are the things we do for our kids. We show up. We show up when we're tired. We show up when we're overwhelmed. We show up when it feels like we have nothing left to give. 

Attending... counseling with Jack this week. He's been feeling suicidal since spring break ended and he keeps having nightmares about attempting suicide and not being successful.  After the attempts in these dreams, he's a vegetable.  He's in his complete right mind, but he can't move or communicate.  So awful. These dreams are not helping with his insomnia. His counselor suggested we follow up on his sleep issues with both the sleep doctor (doing a sleep study) and the Ear, Nose & Throat (ENT) doctor to see if he needs to get his tonsils out as they can sometimes contribute to snoring/sleep issues. 

Skipping... Jazzercise after that rough night with Jack and instead hanging out with Carly & Wyatt, which my heart needed. 

Canceling... on my sister. She was going out of town and I was supposed to watch her youngest for her while she was gone, but I just couldn't imagine juggling one more child on top of everything that's going on around here. Thankfully my parents stepped up and will watch her, and my sister was so gracious about my canceling. What a nightmare. I am just so weary and jumpy and tired and anxious. It's a lot. 

Subbing... in my favorite kindergarten classroom and being really grateful for the students who are an awesome distraction. Oh how I love them.

Seeing... the podiatrist for Wyatt who has been in a lot of pain in his legs and feet as of late. This appointment was a long time coming. Unfortunately the doctor was not kind or encouraging. She gave us referrals to get orthotics and to see a physical therapist, but she really didn't give us a lot of information or hope. Poor Wyatt. (In case you missed it- his achilles tendons are incredibly tight, so his foot can really only sit at a 90 degree angle, it can't go to an 80 or 70 degree angle, the way you or I could if we lifted our toes toward our shins.) 

Attending... Jazzercise Wednesday afternoon and being so glad I went. It's always the right thing. Bonus! I showed up matching my friend (and our instructor) Amy.  So fun!

Subbing... for fourth and then fifth grade at the alternate location where they are since our school closed due to electrical issues in the building. This is likely where Carly will attend next year, and for the most part it is a very cool campus, fun and convenient... but it breaks my heart because there isn't a playground there. And the thought of Carly losing that last little piece of her childhood (along with all the current students that are attending there) just breaks my heart. Sidenote- our secretaries are freaking amazing. They are the moms of the school. They know who is where and what is what and they work amidst constant interruptions. They blow me away!

Sensing... my anxiety approaching like a storm I can see in the distance. I need to make sure that I am taking care of myself, no matter what is going on with the kids, so I can be there for them. I have to put on my oxygen mask first. You know? My jaw is tense, my arms feel like they are levitating, and I am just on edge. 

Flipping... the calendar from April to May, which I always enjoy. A fresh start!

Watching... Love on the Spectrum, which is just the most heartwarming show. If you need to feel good about life and the world, go watch it.

Grocery shopping... with Carly and picking mangoes to try as a new food. So fun!

Sending... Carly off to take her reading SBA (state) test and hoping she does her absolute best. Third grade is when the rubber meets the road of school. Things get suddenly really hard in nearly every subject, and in addition to that, they start state testing. It's been a lot, but I am so proud of our girl!

Spending... as much time as possible outside lately to help combat my anxiety. I woke up and walked outside both days this weekend and spent lots of time outside on our porch swing listening to the bird song and meditating. I also ordered Coping Skills cards and Affirmation cards from Tiffany Roe. I am hoping they will help me get back on track. I also made a list (with my sister's help) of things I need to do to maintain my sanity. 

Thankful... for Aunt Julie this week who met Carly at her school for her spring BBQ since I had a sub job that day. What a blessing our family is for our kiddos. 

Taking... Carly to gymnastics and being so proud of her high beam work. She has improved so much from where she started, and her grit and determination is a sight to behold. 

Crying... and worrying over Logan after he made some choices that I knew weren't true to him and that I knew could have ended badly. Good lord, parenting teens is hard. There aren't even words. But I found myself really grateful for Josh (even though we fought quite a bit this week over parenting) because he took Logan with him to visit his brother who was camping just outside town. I think Logan needed that time in nature with family. 

Grateful... to Jack for making pizza and cookies for movie night Saturday so I could just blog my little heart out. I haven't been able to get caught up at all this year it seems!

Beginning... a social media break May 1st and hoping to take the month of May off to increase my mental well being and the amount of reading I'm doing. 

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