around here: week 21 2021

 {May 16-22nd}

Inviting... Logan & Jack's best friends over to swim.  Easton & Channing are also identical twins.  In their family they are #3 & #4 whereas Logan & Jack are #1 & #2.  Those boys are all like peas in a pod.  They're so good and have so much fun together.  I love their unique friendships. 

Enjoying... the twins' cooking.  They are making more and more dinners each week, and it brings me such happiness! They love cooking, (and I really don't!) so it's win/win!  

Going... to the doctor with Carly to talk to him about my muscle pain in my legs.  She played so well while we were there.  And I got some medicine to help with the pain I've been dealing with.  

Agonizing... over the sunburn all three boys have from last weekend.  They were cleaning the pool but they never got back out to put on sunscreen before spending the afternoon swimming.  Logan got the worst of it.  His turned into blisters all across his shoulders and back, and even gave him something called Hell's Itch, which I had never heard of before.  He woke up in the night with an intense itch under the sunburn, but the blisters were not anywhere near healing, so scratching them was agonizing.  He was near tears when he woke me up with this itching. 

Struggling... through these last weeks of school.  It feels like it will never end, and I am running out of steam. So are the kids. 

Running... errands with Carly and enjoying our alone time.  I know it's quickly shrinking with summer on it's way with brothers home full time. 

Taking... Carly on a bike ride one afternoon during a panic attack. My sister encouraged me to get out of the house and move my body in an attempt to overcome the physical symptoms.  It was really effective and I was grateful for the good advice. 

Going... on a walk with Josh after we laid the kids down one evening.  It was exactly what I needed. 

Shocked... that Josh has read more books than me so far this year! I have really slowed my reading down, focusing on other things, and he has amped up his reading this year.  He has a commute to work, so he uses that time to listen to audiobooks and that has him racking up books like nobody's business.  It's bringing out the competitive side of me. hehe. I'm hoping I can catch up in the summer. 

Looking... back on the twins' infancy & childhood as we approach their birthday next month.  Gosh they were so darn cute!!

Finding... Carly asleep in the hallway one night as Josh and I were headed to bed. I'm not sure what she was doing there, but it made me giggle. 

Contemplating... raising our kids without church, and deciding that it is the right thing for us. Every once in a while I wonder if our kids will miss out on certain things because we don't go to church.  But the risk that they may not know something about religion or the bible is worth knowing for sure that I am the only one pumping ideas & morals into them. (sidenote: if church works for you/your family, I am happy for you.  It's just not what's right for us.)

Freaking... out when I had a lip twitch that wouldn't quit on Friday.  I had already been having anxiety this week, and that was the final straw.  I gave in to temptation and medical googled, finding that lip twitches can be a sign of ALS, so I was convinced that I had ALS.  (Re-reading this to myself, it sounds ridiculous, but in the moment of my health anxiety, I always actually believe I have whatever I have convinced myself matches my symptoms. It's exhausting.)
This feeling triggered a full on panic attack and I broke down in sobs, exhausted after a week of anxiety and it's physical symptoms.  Wyatt and I had been watching Cars 3 together and I told him I was just having an anxiety flare up. I am never sure how to handle the kids when I am feeling that way... but I find honesty tends to be the best policy.  So I just told him I was worried about my twitch and it was giving me anxiety.  He hugged me and told me he was sorry I felt bad. We took turns soaking our feet in epsom salts and soon I started to feel better. 

Listening... to the "We Can Do Hard Things" podcast by Glennon Doyle & her sister, and loving it. Now every Tuesday I look forward to the new podcast they put out. 

Sending... the twins off to my parents house for the weekend, and enjoying a day with just my two littles.  We decided to take advantage of it just being the three of us, and went to the movies.  We saw Raya and The Last Dragon, which was so cute! And we enjoyed popcorn and candy and slushees.  It was so special. 

Feeling... like the fun mom when I said yes to Wyatt and Carly playing video games in the arcade area of the movie theater when our movie ended.  I love when I feel like the fun mom.  

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around here: week 20 2021

 {May 9-15th}

{Your Story is Beautiful}

{Wyatt even practices his stacking skills at school
& his teacher sends me pics. Love her!}

Waking up... on Mother's Day to an empty house (thanks mom & dad!) and a full heart.  Jack texted me as soon as he was up, "Love you. Happy Mother's Day!" It made my heart swell up.  I made myself a delicious eggs & spinach breakfast and then Josh and I headed to Wenatchee to spend the day with my parents and my sister's family.  We got the cutest pictures of the little girls together, and really enjoyed each other's company.  It was so nice.

Watching... the twins at their baseball game, and then Carly at the park when their game was over.  Watching her made me think how lucky she is to have such a large cheering section always rooting for her. 

Thankful... that my friend Jessica asked me to come and share my gratitude journal with a gathering of her church friends.  It was fun to share that creative side of me, and I enjoyed being with other women. It's been so long since I have regularly gotten out of the house!

Being... flexible and trying to stay in the moment as different things come up.  You would think that with four kids, I would be really flexible and "go with the flow", but I am not. And change (especially last minute change) is hard for me. So I'm working on embracing new opportunities (like when Wyatt had last minute practice this week and that meant Carly and I got to go play at the park in the sunshine) and trying to be wherever I am, fully.  It's not easy (especially during school-at-home with the twins) but I am trying!!

Writing... through some of my new writing course on date night since Josh was gone working on his car.  He was also gone Saturday, and I have to say, I am so grateful that he and Samuel are able to do the work themselves. They amaze me.

Having... the cousins over with Nanny (my mom) on Saturday for some swimming.  We had the most fun, swimming and splashing and playing, and then when we were done with that, Nanny ordered us pizza and we had movie night!  It was awesome.

Finding... all the socks.  Everywhere I go, there are dirty socks.  Under the couch, in the car, on the stairs.  In my bedroom, on the rug, under the table.  Ev.er.y.where. They're making me CRAZY!

Receiving... news that my speeding ticket has been successfully deferred.  As long as I do not have any moving violations in the next 12 months, it will not go on my permanent record. Phew! (For that story, go here.)

Entering... the phase of parenting where we can leave the kids home alone for periods of time, and while it is wonderful (and freeing!) it is also bizarre.  I do wonder if the growing up of your kids ever slows down enough for you to catch up. 

Reading... so slowly this year compared to years prior.  I am not sure if it's because I am schooling the boys, or if it's because of my sleep issues, or if it's because I am just sort of burnt out, but I am reading a snail's pace.  Josh is actually ahead of me on "Number of Books Read", which is appalling to me. Haha! I am still reading some, just much slower than usual, and I'm not in as big a hurry.  Some if it may also be because I hit my "Read 100 Books" goal last year, so this year I don't have a specific goal. I am just trying to enjoy whatever I'm reading. I am very curious if Josh will close out 2021 with more books read than me. He isn't convinced because he tends to read less in the summer and I read more, but I guess only time will tell.

Loving... the book "In A Jar" that Carly checked out from the library.  In fact, I loved it so much I ordered us a copy.  It's about this little bunny who collects memories in jars of his favorite places and moments.  Reading it inspired Carly to find a jar in the hutch and go outside to gather things in it. 

Organizing... the twins room.  It's not exactly how I would have it, but I try really hard to let them have their space be their space. So it's a perfect compromise.  My favorite part, of course, was color coding their Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. 

Soaking... in all the beautiful blue skies we've had lately.  The joy that the blue sky brings me is immeasurable. 

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