Around Here: Week 31 2022

 {July 31- August 6th}

Opening with a letter from Mary Katherine Backstrom
that moved me to tears:

"Hey, friend.
I wish I could reach straight through this screen and give you a hug.  
Tell you things are gonna work out.
That it'll all be okay. 
You probably wouldn't believe me.
You'd probably roll your eyes and be like "things are only getting harder."
I guess that's a possibility.
But think of this, okay?
We are gonna do these hard things together. 
You are NOT alone. 
The world is big and scary and cattywampus as all get out, but it's full of humans just like you and me. 
Just like the two of us, all confused and stressed and wishing there was another grown up to take over. There's probably  a few hundred million of us doing this same thing right now. 
Staying up too late.
Worrying about all the tings. 
Wondering how we can fix them.
The truth is, we probably can't. 
But we can all keep trying, together.
We aren't alone. YOU aren't alone.
And perhaps, tonight, that can be enough. 
*squeezes you tight*
You're doing a good job.
Drink some water and go to sleep. 
This crazy world will still be here tomorrow.
And in it, all your friends."

Heading into smoke season:

Sentimental Items:

My little pillow
My security/comfort object all my life.
Used to be blue and white gingham, with 
Mary Had A Little Lamb on the front.

My "cold" blanket. 
Mom got it at a baby shower for me.
It lasted nearly 40 years. 

My "bubba" (what my kids call stuffed animals)
I have had him from our first year of marriage until now. 
Nearly twenty years. Loved nearly to death and now missing an eye. 

My little brother Dallas

Carly pretending to sleep.
It made me laugh because my mom has pictures of me doing the same. 

Books I got rid of!

Beginning Shelf

Ending Shelf

Close Up Shelf One

Close Up Shelf Two

Close Up Shelf Three

Close Up Shelf Four

Close Up Shelf Five

Letting... Carly play and make messes everywhere.  Anything for her to entertain herself and not be on a screen. Luckily cleaning her messes is usually pretty quick, except in her bedroom. When that's a mess, it's quite overwhelming! 

Swimming... and feeling grateful to be out of the 100+ degree weather.  It's cooled down a bit (upper nineties) and it's so much more bearable. 

Watching... Alone on Hulu (season 5) with the kids and just really enjoying it. 

Reading... Hotel Nantucket (I love a good Elin Hilderbrand read for summer!) in addition to listening to Crying in H Mart.  Hotel Nantucket was such a feel good book, and I adore her descriptions of everything summer. Highly recommend. (Other favs by her include: Barefoot and The Island.)

Exploring... a theory that the twins and I had COVID in January 2020. I  know that it wasn't "technically" here then... but Logan was hospitalized for breathing issues and his Influenza A and Influenza B tests both came back negative. He and Jack missed a solid week of school, plus the weekends on either side, and would go from laying in bed to laying on the couch, and back again. 
Then when I got sick, it was the sickest I have ever been, and I would nap at least twice a day and didn't get to feeling better for over three weeks.  I also had to visit the doctor and was put on a nebulizer treatment multiple times a day for breathing issues.  
Anyway, it was over three weeks before I was able to resume any normal duties other than getting the kids to school and home again. 
All of this research and wondering is because I think that its COVID that triggered my fibromyalgia. I remained so tired during all of quarantine that I would nap daily and still not feel rested. Then my muscles started hurting and I found exercise all but impossible. 
There's no reason I'm sharing this... I guess I just was thinking about it and wonder if anyone else has thought they had COVID before COVID was a thing. 
(sidenote- I live in Washington state, where the first patient was traced; and I had visited Sacred Heart Hospital in Spokane a week prior for Logan's neurology appointment.  Spokane is where they had the first dedicated COVID unit.) 

Feeling... so overwhelmed by my overly messy house. It's always hard when we are all home together. So we worked all week getting stuff done.  Organizing and sorting and cleaning.  The kids worked outside, weeding, and I sorted through everything downstairs and deep cleaned my bedroom.   When the house is clean and tidy, I find it helps my peace of mind. I sorted through our rock collection, our games and the books downstairs.  

Proceeding... to sorting through my Unread Shelf, as well as all the other books I own.  I don't know what got into me, but it felt so good! I only kept "read" books that I loved and knew I would look back on or re-read.  And as for "unread" books, I only kept ones I was really excited about. I was able to consolidate almost all my unread books onto one bookshelf and after summer, it should all be able to fit on there. I ended up donating the books to our local used book store, and as for the other items I downsized, I listed a lot of them for sale on Facebook market. 

Researching... suicide rates in the United States and being disturbed to learn that they have increased by 30% between 2000 and 2020.  I wish so badly that I could save everyone who feels so terribly to feel taking their life will improve things. And I equally wish I could save all their loved ones from the anguish of losing them.  

Laughing... at how ridiculous George is when the twins are gone. He misses them so much, but won't accept Carly or Wyatt as replacements. Silly cat. Just sits at the top of the stairs and meows forlornly, wishing his boys would come home. 
Can you imagine how awful that will be when they go to college? I think perhaps I'll sit up there with him, George mewling me and me sobbing, both missing our guys. 

Receiving... the best news ever!!! Josh was able to locate his dad's retirement accounts! We had thought some existed, but since his stroke, Carl hasn't been able to help us find them. Well, with a little computer sleuthing Josh found the accounts and oh the relief for his parents! Such a blessing!

Learning... the difference between a hotel and a motel thanks to Wyatt who asked.  We did a little reading and found out that a hotel typically has multiple floors and more rooms, usually 100 rooms and internal corridors; whereas motels may only have one or two floors with fewer rooms, easily accessible from the parking lot. 

Being triggered... by a bit of wildfire smoke moving into our area which always causes me to worry about Wyatt and to feel claustrophobic due to keeping him indoors. So I did what I always do when I feel out of control. I did what I could.  I added another air quality app to my phone (that makes three) and found our box fans and 20x20 filters and extra large rubber bands.  I attached the filters to the box fans, placing one in Wyatt's bedroom and one downstairs, using the rubberbands. 
Then I made sure to take his peak flow so I would know if his numbers dropped, and even researched buying our own air quality monitor on Amazon as I often smell smoke that doesn't show up on the apps. 
Thankfully the wildfire smoke went away after two days, but I felt good to be prepared as this is usually smoke season for us. 
*the apps I use: Air Matters, AirNow, and AirQualityWA

Running... all the errands at the start of the week to try and have a strong beginning.  I took Wyatt and Carly to get their COVID boosters (no side effects, yay!); picked up glasses for those whose new glasses orders were in; picked up prescriptions at the pharmacy; and took Wyatt for a blood draw that his pulmonologist asked for back in November. (#badmom)  He had to fast for the blood draw, and we kept forgetting and not doing it, and finally I was like, WE ARE DOING THIS! We tried for a day last week but Wyatt forgot and ate breakfast before I came downstairs. So when Carly woke up that day this week, she made a note that said, "Don't eat" and stuck it on the fridge to remind Wyatt. haha! Best sister ever. 

Meal planning... per usual, but making a change from grocery shopping every two weeks, to grocery shopping every week.  Josh thought this might help us save money, but also would make the grocery haul more reasonable in size and duration. (When we go every two weeks it is nearly impossible for me to go by myself, and we always end up needing two carts, and shopping takes forever, and it just sucks.) Our goal is to stick to a budget of $150/week.  This first week I spent $180. So a little over, but not bad, and overall a huge savings versus what I would spend on a two week grocery trip. 

Wishing... that we could return to "precedented" times as I am tired of the crazy expense of filling up my gas tank and feeding my family. It's really getting old being broke all the time just from driving a car and feeding my kids. 

Holding... Carly after she started crying on the way to the grocery store. We had driven by this woman pushing a stroller, and Carly goes, "Ohhh, she has a baby." And I don't know why, but I told her, "No honey. That stroller is full of her belongings because she's homeless. There's no baby in there." I mean, it was true, but I don't know why I told her. (I should have known better.)

She instantly burst into tears and told me, "I really wish you hadn't told me that." So I had to pull over to hug and comfort her.  I asked her why homelessness makes her so sad (It makes me sad, too, but I was curious her thoughts on it) and she said, "If you don't have a house, how can you be together?" (like with your family) It was so precious. I just love this tender hearted girl of mine so much. 

Frustrated... when our garbage disposal started leaking and needed to be replaced.  Thankfully Josh is very handy, and could replace it himself, but it still hurt to spend $200 at Lowe's on a new one. 

Enjoying... Carly at this age. A few cute stories: Carly told me one night at bedtime that she wants to be an adult. I asked what that meant, and she said it meant having more chores (how right is she?! ha!) and being responsible. So I have promised to keep that in mind and let her know if any new chores need doing.  Another thing she has been saying lately after she eats a treat is that she needs to eat a healthy food.  So the other day I found her watching her tablet, with the blueberries and raspberries alongside her on the table. 

Hosting... Logan and Jack's friends for a sleepover, where they ate spaghetti & meatballs with us, played hide & seek through the neighborhood and then took a night swim in our pool.  Dinner had us all in giggles.  Middle school humor, I tell you. You can't help but smirk and then join in the laughter. Those boys, oh how I love them all.  My stomach hurt from laughing. 

Picking... a bunch of my hydrangea blooms to attempt drying them.  They are so beautiful, and I'm so happy my bush is blooming so abundantly this year. (Unfortunately my drying didn't work. They died and withered. But I enjoyed them while they lasted!)

Laughing... when I got in the shower and saw that Logan had changed my "I love summer" foam letter message to "I hate summer. Lol." What a stinker. Hehe.

Loving... my dedicated skater boy.  Despite all manner of injuries, scrapes and bruises, he persists. 

Also loving my husband for the amazing, fun dad that he is. The twins had a double sleepover with their twin friends which meant my entire downstairs became gaming central, so Wyatt, Carly, Josh and I escaped upstairs.  While I sorted books and Carly slept, Josh played Mario with Wyatt for hours. Oh the fun they had. Their giggles reaching past our bedroom doors and making me smile as well. 

Grateful... for Kelle Hampton at Enjoying The Small Things for her encouragement during this back-to-school/end-of-summer transition. The change from summer to fall is always hard for me as I love summer, and the new school year further impresses upon me the speed at which my kids are aging. 

***

I'm dead.
This is SO funny!

Words of Affirmation are my love language. 
Especially when Josh compliments me in motherhood.
So telling me I was a "fun mom" filled my bucket right up!

A friend shared this picture of pansies, and I love it.
I have always loved pansies because my grandma's name is Pansy. 

I was interested to learn that there is a specific name for fear of cancer.
I am always convinced I have different types of cancer based on random symptoms.
I exhaust myself. 

Around Here: Week 30 2022

 {July 24-30th}

The Original 
circa 2013

Updated
circa 2022
*just missing my nephew Isaiah

My grandma & grandpa on the left
Grandma's sister Joyce (in light blue), husband Harvey and Harvey's mom
I love how Grandpa's arm is around Grandma's shoulder.

A girl I follow on IG found a vintage Cabbage Patch doll for her daughter at an Antique store this summer and it prompted me to pull "Mary Rose" out to send her a pic. She's seen better days, but oh the memories we share!

Noticing... my kids extending a little extra kindness to each other after I added "Do a random kindness" to their daily To Do list. Carly woke up one morning and wandered sleepily down the stairs and when she saw Logan's waffle, toasted and awaiting syrup she said, "Is that for me?!?" She was SO excited. I prepared to let her down gently when Logan cut in and said, "It was for me, but you can have it Carly." Total mom-heart-melt.
Wyatt was outside in the afternoon after garbage and recycling pick up and decided to bring the bins up for Josh so he wouldn't have to. Love that thoughtfulness!
And Carly is constantly carrying things up or down the stairs to help me, and is always willing to feed the dogs or put her brothers' shoes in the garage (where they belong) so Piper doesn't eat them. Grateful for her willing little heart. 
And all of them have been fabulous about letting me enjoy sleeping in this summer.  The brothers will feed Carly and remind her to let me rest. I am so thankful. Sleeping in after years of waking early with kids is such a luxury.

Playing... in the pool every afternoon.  Our daily schedule is pretty relaxed with lots of screen time, but the kids know when the clock strikes 3:00 we are going to slip on our swimsuits, slather ourselves in sunscreen and go splash around in the pool.  It has been so hot that we don't even sit around on the patio. We go immediately from the door to the ladder of the pool and into that refreshing water. The routine of it is currently saving my life. It gives a little order to (chaotic) summer days and gets the kids worn out in time for dinner and bed. 
While we are outside, though, I have gotten in the habit of lighting a Bath and Body Works Candle in my walmart lantern and turning on our outdoor fan.  This helps displace the smell of dog poop, which is a risk you take when you have dogs the size of horses. I'm always surprised by how quickly the good smell permeates the patio area and overpowers any negative scents. 

Speaking of dog poop... I have a gross question. Do any of you have advice about what to do when your dog likes eating it??? Piper has three meals a day, but she is VERY motivated by food and therefore if we leave her out any longer than it takes for her to do her business, she eats her and Grady's poop.  It's absolutely disgusting, makes her breath smell and honestly makes me want to throw her away. I ordered some sprinkles to put on their food in hopes that will make the poop less appealing, but does anyone have any other advice? I'm feeling desperate here as I don't want it to become a habit! (thank you!)

Chatting... with Logan's neurologist via Zoom about his migraines. Currently he has about two per month, and she said until we hit four per month, we don't need to do anything preventatively. So right now it's about curing the migraine once it's begun. So we will be giving him Zofran for the nausea that comes with his migraines and LOTS of ibuprofen when they begin. We will also be recording his sleep, water intake and food intake at the time of the migraines, because if we can locate a trigger, it will be a lot easier to prevent/avoid the migraines. I feel absolutely awful when he has them and would do anything to take them away. Hopefully this new plan helps stop them quicker.  

Suffering... a really bad fibromyalgia flare this week.  My body hurts, I am so tired no matter how much sleep I get, and my anxiety is off the charts with worry about every single body ache.  I am worrying, crying and obsessing, and it's exhausting. I will be talking to the doctor when I see him about my Cymbalta and whether it makes sense to increase my dose or not. Meanwhile, trying (and mostly failing) to have grace for myself amidst these hard days.  

Hosting... a double cousin sleepover for Wyatt with my sister's boys, Ferris & Milo.  They had so much fun, and then got to spend the entire next day together too!

Driving... with a car FULL of kids, plus a dog, pulling kayaks behind us, to Lincoln Rock State Park in Wenatchee.  I had never been, but my mom and brother went and it looked amazing! So we decided to celebrate my dad's birthday there.  My brother Dalton, my parents, my sister and her kids, plus Josh, me and our kids all gathered to celebrate. It was seriously the most fun day!!  There is a roped off swimming area (two actually, one more shallow, a nd one more deep) and then lots of area beyond the buoys to kayak.  The day was hot and beautiful and it felt so good to be in the water. 

Watching... the twins kayak at the same time, I was delighted to notice they were even mirror kayaking. (They are mirror twins which means while Logan is left handed, has a dominant left dimple and a swirl on the back of his head that swirls left; Jack is right handed, has a dominant right dimple and a swirl on the back of his head that swirls right.) It was like magic to watch. 

Paying... only $10 to park, unless you had a yearly pass, in which case it's included. And my mom spoiled us thoroughly by bringing all the food and drinks. We literally just had to bring life jackets & towels and show up. So so lucky! 

Jumping... off rocks and docks and loving every  minute! The boys found a dock off a little trail and jumped into the water one after the other after the other over and over all day long. Then we also kayaked out a bit (it's technically the Columbia River, but it's a bit of an off shoot and much slower and less scary) among the canyon walls and the twins, (Well, Logan, of course) wanted to know if he could climb out and jump off.  Josh said sure and thus began the great adventure. My sister jumped, Josh jumped, Carly even jumped! That girl is so brave! They all came back talking about how amazing it was, and I felt sad, and a little left out that I hadn't joined them. I told Josh and he said, grab a kayak, I'll go back out with you! Logan joined us as well and then my mom and Dalton were a bit behind us, and I got to climb out, scrabble among the rocks and jump in. I was so proud of myself, and so grateful Josh was willing to take me back out. The hardest part was probably a toss up between scrabbling up the unsteady rocks and getting back in my kayak. But Josh held it steady and I was so thankful. 

Wanting... to experience life whatever my size. I discovered after climbing up and jumping off the cliff just like everyone else, that I can do pretty much anything I put my mind to, regardless of my size. And it's important to me to say yes to opportunities, maybe especially ones that scare me, because that's what life is all about. 

Feeling... warm & glowy inside after a stranger on the beach at the state park stopped me and said, "I just wanted to tell you I think you are so cute.  I love your swimsuit and your hat and your smile." I mean, seriously? Just the sweetest thing ever.  She didn't have to stop and tell me that. But she did. And it made my day.  Let that be a little reminder to us to always share the kind word. You never know how much the person needs to hear it. 

Doing... a shot of Hennessey with my brother when he asked. I've never tasted Hennessey and OH MY LORD it burned going down! Haha!
But he said the sweetest cheers as we toasted: “I ain’t above you, I ain’t below you. I’m just here beside you.”  Yes. 

Saying... yes (!!!) when Carly asked to use my phone for a photoshoot. She took pictures of Romy posed by a birch tree (my favorite) and then Romy took pictures of her.  They were both telling each other how to pose, and I could barely stand it. So cute!!!

Spontaneously... saying yes to Red Robin with the boys and my mom after our day swimming.  It was so fun to eat out with our crazy crew.  It was my three boys, my sister's two boys, plus Carly and my mom, and the food was great, the company hilarious and the night memorable. 

Doing... a deep dive (pardon the pun) on Chelan Lake after my sister told me she struggled eating fish from there because of the dead body count in the lake. Apparently it is the third deepest lake in Washington State and the 25th deepest in the world. The lake's deepest point is 388 feet below sea level. 
Back in 1945 a school bus, during a freak snow storm, careened off the road and into the lake. 16 people (15 children and a bus drivers) died and 6 survived (5 children and another bus driver). Nine of the bodies were never recovered. (To read more, click here)
Many more bodies have settled to the depths of the lake never to be recovered. So chilling.

Crossing... appointments off my list this week with a dentist visit (no cavities!) and taking Logan and Jack to the doctor for their annual check up and to check out Logan's wrist injury (no break!).  

Reading... Crying in H Mart, which was not at all what I imagined based on the title. It was a beautiful tribute to love, family and culture, and I highly recommend it. If you've been on the fence, let this be your sign that you should read it. 
I am also doing lots of my reading with my reading glasses on.  I have really upped my reading lately and found my eyes were getting fatigued.  So I am trying to remember to slide those readers on before turning pages. 

Enjoying... watching Alone after dinner each night with the kids. We love discussing the strategy of the people trying to survive in the wilderness and talking about what we'd do differently.  We joke that if I didn't have a chapstick addiction (you're not allowed to bring any with you) I would absolutely go on Alone and win our family $500,000.  What's your excuse?! haha

Buying... a lottery ticket when the pot was like in the billions.  Josh, his brother Samuel and I had a fun time talking about what we would do with all that money if we won. The guys would open a shop for cars and buy houses for all their family and friends.  I would buy all the books I ever wanted, and buy some land to live on so we could raise geriatric German shepherds.  

Opening... the mail and being pleasantly surprised at how quickly Carly's new swimsuits came.  Her old ones were really getting worn down from the chlorine, sun drying and wear & tear, so I threw out the ones that were falling apart and my mom sent us new ones.  Two from Hanna Andersson (the green tankini and the fruit one) and one from Old Navy (the red gingham bikini). They are so cute and Carly is absolutely darling in them. {swoon}

***

Accurate!

Love this message. 
We're all just doing the best we can!

Good to keep in mind when I'm having a flare.

Fibromyalgia:

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