A Month of Summer

Four weeks of summer was all I needed. 

To get my sanity, my joy, my self back.  

On July 17th, I sat back and thought, "I am so happy.  Content. At peace."  I thought about how hard the fall, winter and spring truly were with our boys learning {mostly} at home, and I felt so grateful that summer had come exactly one month earlier (June 18th was our last day of school) and ushered in the relief we all needed.

Week after week; day after day; suffering at the hands of my children COVID and quarantine and distance learning, it turns out all I needed was an entire month off. 

Hah.

We watched movies. We went camping. We swam.  We slept.  We laughed.  We lived together.  We loved.  We didn't argue once over Google Classroom, attendance log-ins or Class Meets.  We had not one conversation about cameras being turned on; work being turned in; or music being turned down during assignments.  And it was a blessed relief. 

We celebrated Father's Day; got the twins' second dose of vaccine; spent time with cousins on both sides; and hosted a super fun fourth of July party.  I continued with my bi-weekly counseling; took all four kids to the dentist where we had zero cavities; and we hit 90 days post-medication for Logan (a big deal! He was most likely to have a breakthrough seizure during the first 90 days following him being weaned off his epilepsy meds, but he didn't! He has officially outgrown his seizures!)  I got to meet for book club in person; made cake and celebrated Josh's birthday; and sent the twins to a Mariner's game with their dad, much to their delight.  I (nervously) watched my sister's girls (ages 3 & 6 months) so she could take her boys (and Wyatt) to the water park and cross it off their summer bucket list.  We also went kayaking; made smores; rubbed sunscreen and aloe on each other after long days in the sun; and collected fresh, tiny, red strawberries from our garden. I read books; wore the bikini; ate cold watermelon; and fell in love with Carly's vibrant, colorful, uninhibited art. I watched my dahlias bloom, and started a paint by number (thanks to my friend Kristina who sent me one. Love you girl!) 

I started Mine To Tell, something that is all my own.  A writing class where I am attempting to pull together all that I lived through during our time in the village in Alaska.  I prepared for a garage sale that has kick started the most intense home organization/simplification that I have ever executed. I have faced what fall will bring (all four kids in school for the first time ever), which leaves me feeling both terrified and ecstatic, and am content to just take each day as it comes.  I am soaking up all the days of summer, and am not borrowing trouble worrying about school, sick days or masks.  What's coming will come and we'll face it when it does. 

I have dealt with heartache that's left me sobbing, gasping for breath; and I have experienced the euphoric joy that comes from knowing (down to my bones) that I am beloved for just who I am. 

Here's hoping my second month of summer vacation is as calm, relaxed, soothing, and fun as the first month was. 

***

around here: week 19 2021

 {May 9-15th}

{Carly picked her own clothes}

Taking... pictures of the twins with Josh at their baseball game this week (which my parents attended- thanks mom & dad!) and feeling shocked at how big they are.  They truly have gone from boys to men it feels like this year (at least physically) and it constantly surprises me.  

Going... to the eye doctor again this week, only this time with the twins, for yearly exams and new glasses.  I am always shocked at how fast and easy it is now compared to when they were younger and I had Carly in a stroller, etc.  

Catching... Wyatt stacking all.over.the.place! He stacked all the cream of his tiny oreos; hot wheels in the bathroom, and cups in the kitchen.  The kid is a stacking fool!

Grateful... that Josh and I both put each other first.  Every morning I wake up and make his salad for his lunch, and he makes the bed for me.  It's a really nice way to start the day being there for each other and making each other feel cared for. 

Grocery shopping... for the first time in forever (Josh has been doing it since COVID) and realizing after Carly and I pulled up to the checkout that we were going to need a second cart once it was all bagged.  Thankfully Carly is up to anything, and despite not being able to see over the cart, she helped me push that second cart all the way to the van.  She's awesome! (Next week, however, I will be going on a day when the twins are home and one of them can come with me! Hah!)

Enjoying... our first watermelon of the season which delighted Carly to no end! 

Taking... care of myself this week by attending counseling (Yay for DoctoronDemand!) and my follow up CPAP appointment to check in on how my sleep & breathing are doing. 

Facetiming... with my sister and niece and just feeling so grateful they are in my life.  My sister is a lifeline and Romy is simply a delight.  She is funny and articulate and demanding and sweet, and all of it together just makes her the most fun!

Listening... to "Learning To Let You Go" by JJ Heller on Youtube music, and crying every time it comes on. "Growing up is hard to do.  I know because I'm growing up with you."

"You were never mine to keep. You were always just on loan.

So have a little patience with me, cause I'm learning to let you go."

Signing... Carly up for her very own library card this week after visiting there to check out some books (in person! finally!) She was so proud, writing her little name on the back, and checking out her own stack, it was a moment for this book-loving mama for sure!

Attending... a Prayer Writing course via Mine To Tell (Ashmae & Kathy are the best, most encouraging coaches) and deciding that I need more writing in my life.  So I signed up for their yearlong program where we meet and are encouraged to write every Tuesday & Thursday (via zoom).  I am so excited to get some of the stories in my head out and on paper.  It has me feeling very excited for the future.  

Buying... a Venus fly trap when I saw them at the grocery store.  We had one growing up, and I remember being fascinated by the idea of a carnivorous plant. So the kids have been catching ants to feed it and watching videos about Venus Fly Trap's on youtube. 

Cheering... at Wyatt's game with all the other parents and feeling so lucky that this amazing kid is mine.  There's something about Wyatt that people are attracted to.  I don't know if it's his humility, his humor or his wisdom, but at his game this week, he got a hit, made it to first, and then STOLE second (!!!) AND third (!!!).  After he crossed home plate, he held both hands up in the air and did a little dance- it was SO joyful and SO adorable.  Hearing the entire crowd cheering his name just made me feel so special to be his mom. 

Sending... the kids to spend the day with my parents Saturday and feeling so excited that it unexpectedly turned into a sleepover! It was the first time Josh and I have been home alone in our house ever! 

While they were gone, we went on a double date with Josh's brother Samuel and his girlfriend Makayla.  We went to the grand opening of a new Mexican food restaurant one town over, and there was even a live mariachi band. It was the best time, and the food was great! So much fun!

Writing... daily in my gratitude journal (see photo above of my grat. journal with Josh and the twins at their game) and feeling so grateful that I started this habit back in January.  It reminds me to see the good and record it.  Some days it's hard, but every day it's good. 

Loving... the new shoes my mom bought me (the black ones pictured above- they are SO comfortable, cute and can be dressed up or down) and the new {to me} shoes that my friend passed to me.  New shoes are so fun. 

***

This quote by Russell M. Nelson spoke to me this week as I struggled with schooling the boys at home:

"The road ahead may be bumpy
but our destination is serene and secure.
So fasten your seatbelt,
hang on through the bumps,
and do what's right.
Your reward will be eternal."

-Russell M. Nelson