around here: week 19 2021

 {May 9-15th}

{Carly picked her own clothes}

Taking... pictures of the twins with Josh at their baseball game this week (which my parents attended- thanks mom & dad!) and feeling shocked at how big they are.  They truly have gone from boys to men it feels like this year (at least physically) and it constantly surprises me.  

Going... to the eye doctor again this week, only this time with the twins, for yearly exams and new glasses.  I am always shocked at how fast and easy it is now compared to when they were younger and I had Carly in a stroller, etc.  

Catching... Wyatt stacking all.over.the.place! He stacked all the cream of his tiny oreos; hot wheels in the bathroom, and cups in the kitchen.  The kid is a stacking fool!

Grateful... that Josh and I both put each other first.  Every morning I wake up and make his salad for his lunch, and he makes the bed for me.  It's a really nice way to start the day being there for each other and making each other feel cared for. 

Grocery shopping... for the first time in forever (Josh has been doing it since COVID) and realizing after Carly and I pulled up to the checkout that we were going to need a second cart once it was all bagged.  Thankfully Carly is up to anything, and despite not being able to see over the cart, she helped me push that second cart all the way to the van.  She's awesome! (Next week, however, I will be going on a day when the twins are home and one of them can come with me! Hah!)

Enjoying... our first watermelon of the season which delighted Carly to no end! 

Taking... care of myself this week by attending counseling (Yay for DoctoronDemand!) and my follow up CPAP appointment to check in on how my sleep & breathing are doing. 

Facetiming... with my sister and niece and just feeling so grateful they are in my life.  My sister is a lifeline and Romy is simply a delight.  She is funny and articulate and demanding and sweet, and all of it together just makes her the most fun!

Listening... to "Learning To Let You Go" by JJ Heller on Youtube music, and crying every time it comes on. "Growing up is hard to do.  I know because I'm growing up with you."

"You were never mine to keep. You were always just on loan.

So have a little patience with me, cause I'm learning to let you go."

Signing... Carly up for her very own library card this week after visiting there to check out some books (in person! finally!) She was so proud, writing her little name on the back, and checking out her own stack, it was a moment for this book-loving mama for sure!

Attending... a Prayer Writing course via Mine To Tell (Ashmae & Kathy are the best, most encouraging coaches) and deciding that I need more writing in my life.  So I signed up for their yearlong program where we meet and are encouraged to write every Tuesday & Thursday (via zoom).  I am so excited to get some of the stories in my head out and on paper.  It has me feeling very excited for the future.  

Buying... a Venus fly trap when I saw them at the grocery store.  We had one growing up, and I remember being fascinated by the idea of a carnivorous plant. So the kids have been catching ants to feed it and watching videos about Venus Fly Trap's on youtube. 

Cheering... at Wyatt's game with all the other parents and feeling so lucky that this amazing kid is mine.  There's something about Wyatt that people are attracted to.  I don't know if it's his humility, his humor or his wisdom, but at his game this week, he got a hit, made it to first, and then STOLE second (!!!) AND third (!!!).  After he crossed home plate, he held both hands up in the air and did a little dance- it was SO joyful and SO adorable.  Hearing the entire crowd cheering his name just made me feel so special to be his mom. 

Sending... the kids to spend the day with my parents Saturday and feeling so excited that it unexpectedly turned into a sleepover! It was the first time Josh and I have been home alone in our house ever! 

While they were gone, we went on a double date with Josh's brother Samuel and his girlfriend Makayla.  We went to the grand opening of a new Mexican food restaurant one town over, and there was even a live mariachi band. It was the best time, and the food was great! So much fun!

Writing... daily in my gratitude journal (see photo above of my grat. journal with Josh and the twins at their game) and feeling so grateful that I started this habit back in January.  It reminds me to see the good and record it.  Some days it's hard, but every day it's good. 

Loving... the new shoes my mom bought me (the black ones pictured above- they are SO comfortable, cute and can be dressed up or down) and the new {to me} shoes that my friend passed to me.  New shoes are so fun. 

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This quote by Russell M. Nelson spoke to me this week as I struggled with schooling the boys at home:

"The road ahead may be bumpy
but our destination is serene and secure.
So fasten your seatbelt,
hang on through the bumps,
and do what's right.
Your reward will be eternal."

-Russell M. Nelson

around here :: week 2 2020

Enjoying... taco salad as a change for date night with Josh on Friday after the kids were in bed. It took me back to our date nights in Alaska when we would sometimes have that.  We both look back so lovingly on our time there.  It almost feels as if it were a dream. (Don't worry, I also remember that they rarely had eggs or sour cream at the co-op and that we thought "good weather" was when it was above zero and not windy. Hah!)

Blessed... with a day all to myself on Saturday when Josh took the kids to the park, out to lunch, and then to his parent's house.  That was on top of letting me sleep in until 11:30.  I honestly can't remember the last time I slept until 11:30am.  I'm certain it was before children. (So, circa 2006 or 2007) I am trying so hard to get over this cold, though, that I slept like the dead and could tell I so needed that rest!
During my day off I did a ton of reading for book club on Tuesday (we are reading A Severe Mercy) and a ton of laundry (so.many.loads!). 
Honestly, though, no matter what I was doing, I just soaked up the silence. There is nothing like the quiet of an empty house to bring my soul back to equilibrium.

Getting... the twins caught up on missing work from when they were sick before Christmas break as we prepared to head back to school Monday.  We also cleaned the house and the kids even vacuumed out my van, so we all felt totally ready to jump back into our routine by Sunday evening. 

Reading... A Severe Mercy and If Only I Could Tell You, and listening to Find the Good on audio.  I love break because it means I can spend a whole heck of a lot of time just sitting around reading.  And that's my favorite.
If Only I Could Tell You has been a real page turner and I've been surprised a few times already!  Find the Good is a feel good listen, and goes right along with my phrase for the new year ("See the good") and is really uplifting.
I also read this by Anne Lamott (or you can watch the video) and feeling really inspired by it. Especially this part:
"If you don't know where to start, remember that every single thing that happened to you is yours, and you get to tell it. If people wanted you to write more warmly about them, they should've behaved better.
You're going to feel like hell if you wake up someday and you never wrote the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart: your stories, memories, visions and songs -- your truth, your version of things -- in your own voice. That's really all you have to offer us, and that's also why you were born." Gah! It's just SO good!!!
{Thanks for sharing this with me, Debbie.  I needed to hear it.}  

Loving... the new football game the boys are playing on the trampoline. It is keeping them outside for hours, with very little fighting, which is unheard of.  I also love how when they are on the trampoline, Grady lays in the grass in front of it like a guard dog.  Even Carly has gotten out there with them a few times.

Understanding... that having a little sister is HARD sometimes.  Wyatt worked so diligently on two of his wooden puzzles, then left them unattended and Carly took them apart. He was so heartbroken and angry.  I encouraged him to try again, and to forgive her, but he was mad for quite some time.  #siblinglife

Enduring... a surprise withdrawal from our bank account that we thought wasn't due until February (because it said it wasn't due until February) and taking a deep breath while trying to regroup.  While we're getting our feet under us without falling back on credit cards, every little bill or unexpected expense has the ability to throw us off. 
I'm stretching our groceries a bit further to balance out the unexpected expense by making homemade bread (for making french toast for dinner one night this week & to eat with breakfast) and homemade tortillas (for tacos and quesadillas) and being as creative as possible with what is still in our pantry.  I am grateful for our time in Alaska during times like these because I got really good at working with what was in the pantry and cooking from scratch when needed. 

Sending... the kids back to school and making our new favorite family dinner Monday night.  We had meatloaf, made in my square muffin pan tin with little bacon strips on each tiny meatloaf along with corn, mashed potatoes and gravy.  Every one of the four kids ate everything on their plate. It felt like a back-to-school/New Year miracle! So yummy, we may just have it every week!

Watching... Season 3 of Anne with an E and wishing it would go on forever.

Comforting... Carly during her night time growing pains.  She has been waking up the past week in tears over the pain she has in her legs.  One night even her arms and her feet hurt.  When I'm in there, I rub them and rock her back to sleep after giving her some pain meds.  I try not to worry and think it's anything other than growing pains, but it's hard not to worry when your kid wakes from a dead sleep sobbing like Carly has been. The boys never did this at this age.

Frustrated... with Grady who ate one of Carly's {favorite} puppy dog toys, Skye, and one of my slippers while I wasn't paying attention the other day.  For the most part he is such a good dog, but if he gets bored, or we leave things on the floor (especially shoes!) he tends to get a little "chewy". sigh. Carly cried HYSTERICALLY when I showed her what he had done. I felt so bad, but I knew I had to show her.  She would wonder where Skye had gone, and she has to learn not to leave her toys on the floor. Poor girl.  Later, though, she hugged him and said, "I forgive you, Grady. I forgive you, boy."

Thankful... that the cats are coming downstairs more and more and seem to be adjusting to Grady's presence here.  He's only been here a month, so I'm still holding out hope that someday I will find him and Ramona or George curled up in a nap together on the couch. #bigdreams

Smiling... when I saw the message that Logan and Wyatt had put up using Carly's bath tub alphabet in their shower. "Love You Mom & Dad" Those boys can sure be sweet when they want to be.

Attending... our first book club meeting of the year and loving the opportunity to discuss A Severe Mercy, which was a great romantic book about grief, and also the meeting where we chose our books for the next six months. I am so excited for what we will read!!

• Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery (my pick!)
• Miramar Bay by T. Davis Bunn
• The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute
• Sweep: The Story of A Girl and Her Monster by Jonathan Auxier
• The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek by Kim Michelle Richardson
• The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck

Back... to wrestling for the boys, who enjoyed a two week respite over break, plus the two weeks they spent sick before that.  Now we're trying to decide who is going to continue on this next quarter.  Jack & Wyatt say they're pretty sure they want to, but Logan really doesn't. So Josh and I have a decision to make. 

Getting... basically no news (which is good news) from Wyatt's neurologist when we went to see her in Spokane on Thursday.  His EEG was clear- it showed no seizures and no abnormalities- which is great, but it still leaves us wondering what these staring spells are.  He hasn't had any in a while, so we are just going to watch and wait.  Dr. Eastman said that seizures will make themselves known (by increasing in severity or frequency) so if they are seizures, we will know eventually.  In the meantime we just have to keep Wyatt safe, which is pretty easy considering his staring spells/seizures only seem to be happening in the classroom or in bed and are very short in duration. 
I am so thankful Josh's mom was able to have Carly for the day Thursday so Wyatt and I could head to Spokane without her in tow, as she gets carsick and isn't the most patient girl at the doctor's office. (What three year old is?!?)
Every time I head to the children's hospital I get very anxious about finding parking, especially if my appointment is midday like it was today.  So as I drive into the parking garage, I say a little prayer that God would send someone out to their car as I am driving by, and every time it works.  I know it's a little thing, and it might seem silly to you, but for me, it alleviates so much stress, and I'm so grateful for God meeting that small request.

Tearing up... when I received my sister's adoption announcement in the mail.  It made it feel... I don't know... official? I was so excited, and so happy for my sister, and I loved seeing that sometimes there are happy endings.

Watching... the snow fall on Friday as I stayed home taking care of Logan who was home sick, sick, sick and reading my books. Logan's got a terrible sore throat and fever and chills, poor kid.  The only good thing was that I didn't have much going on so I was able to just sit with him on the couch and really snuggle him up good.

Sleeplessness... is leading to more worry than (my current) normal, which is crummy.  Normally I am able to tell myself, "Think horses not zebras" when it comes to me or the kids being sick... but with myself not sleeping, my thoughts are bit more chaotic than normal and it's hard to talk myself down.  Like with Carly's growing pains, I keep thinking it must be something worse. And with Logan's illness, I kept thinking it must be something to do with his seizure med levels... but really, it's probably just growing pains in Carly and some kind of flu in Logan.  But try telling that to my crazy, child-loving, fear-protecting, worst-case-scenario thinking, sleep deprived mind!

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