around here: week 21 2021

 {May 16-22nd}

Inviting... Logan & Jack's best friends over to swim.  Easton & Channing are also identical twins.  In their family they are #3 & #4 whereas Logan & Jack are #1 & #2.  Those boys are all like peas in a pod.  They're so good and have so much fun together.  I love their unique friendships. 

Enjoying... the twins' cooking.  They are making more and more dinners each week, and it brings me such happiness! They love cooking, (and I really don't!) so it's win/win!  

Going... to the doctor with Carly to talk to him about my muscle pain in my legs.  She played so well while we were there.  And I got some medicine to help with the pain I've been dealing with.  

Agonizing... over the sunburn all three boys have from last weekend.  They were cleaning the pool but they never got back out to put on sunscreen before spending the afternoon swimming.  Logan got the worst of it.  His turned into blisters all across his shoulders and back, and even gave him something called Hell's Itch, which I had never heard of before.  He woke up in the night with an intense itch under the sunburn, but the blisters were not anywhere near healing, so scratching them was agonizing.  He was near tears when he woke me up with this itching. 

Struggling... through these last weeks of school.  It feels like it will never end, and I am running out of steam. So are the kids. 

Running... errands with Carly and enjoying our alone time.  I know it's quickly shrinking with summer on it's way with brothers home full time. 

Taking... Carly on a bike ride one afternoon during a panic attack. My sister encouraged me to get out of the house and move my body in an attempt to overcome the physical symptoms.  It was really effective and I was grateful for the good advice. 

Going... on a walk with Josh after we laid the kids down one evening.  It was exactly what I needed. 

Shocked... that Josh has read more books than me so far this year! I have really slowed my reading down, focusing on other things, and he has amped up his reading this year.  He has a commute to work, so he uses that time to listen to audiobooks and that has him racking up books like nobody's business.  It's bringing out the competitive side of me. hehe. I'm hoping I can catch up in the summer. 

Looking... back on the twins' infancy & childhood as we approach their birthday next month.  Gosh they were so darn cute!!

Finding... Carly asleep in the hallway one night as Josh and I were headed to bed. I'm not sure what she was doing there, but it made me giggle. 

Contemplating... raising our kids without church, and deciding that it is the right thing for us. Every once in a while I wonder if our kids will miss out on certain things because we don't go to church.  But the risk that they may not know something about religion or the bible is worth knowing for sure that I am the only one pumping ideas & morals into them. (sidenote: if church works for you/your family, I am happy for you.  It's just not what's right for us.)

Freaking... out when I had a lip twitch that wouldn't quit on Friday.  I had already been having anxiety this week, and that was the final straw.  I gave in to temptation and medical googled, finding that lip twitches can be a sign of ALS, so I was convinced that I had ALS.  (Re-reading this to myself, it sounds ridiculous, but in the moment of my health anxiety, I always actually believe I have whatever I have convinced myself matches my symptoms. It's exhausting.)
This feeling triggered a full on panic attack and I broke down in sobs, exhausted after a week of anxiety and it's physical symptoms.  Wyatt and I had been watching Cars 3 together and I told him I was just having an anxiety flare up. I am never sure how to handle the kids when I am feeling that way... but I find honesty tends to be the best policy.  So I just told him I was worried about my twitch and it was giving me anxiety.  He hugged me and told me he was sorry I felt bad. We took turns soaking our feet in epsom salts and soon I started to feel better. 

Listening... to the "We Can Do Hard Things" podcast by Glennon Doyle & her sister, and loving it. Now every Tuesday I look forward to the new podcast they put out. 

Sending... the twins off to my parents house for the weekend, and enjoying a day with just my two littles.  We decided to take advantage of it just being the three of us, and went to the movies.  We saw Raya and The Last Dragon, which was so cute! And we enjoyed popcorn and candy and slushees.  It was so special. 

Feeling... like the fun mom when I said yes to Wyatt and Carly playing video games in the arcade area of the movie theater when our movie ended.  I love when I feel like the fun mom.  

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The Twins' Twelfth Birthday

 ... And just like that the twins are twelve.

{2008}

{2020}

 We've been parenting for a dozen years. 

{first trip to the pumpkin patch}

***

I am not one of those moms who easily envisions the future. So today when I was getting ready for the day as Jack played Fortnite in my reading chair in my room, I thought, "I never imagined I'd like my kids so much as they got older." Like, he's pretty cool.  

I mean, sure they drive me nuts.  Especially the twins.  (oh the fighting and the competing and the arguing! gah!) But they are really good people.  They are kind and thoughtful.  They are funny and compassionate.  They are sweet and silly.  They are just... well, kind of awesome.  And I love that.  They are helpful and empathetic and never want to see another person in pain or upset. 

Basically, they're the kind of humans I want to be around. And that's pretty great. 

For their birthday they chose some things and put them in the Amazon cart. That's how Coronavirus Birthdays are happening around here. Hah.  "Whaddya want kid?" So I wrapped the gifts that rolled in, some are still coming later this week, and then Josh surprised them (and me!) when he said they could download Fortnite (something we haven't allowed up to now) since they are twelve now.

Their faces! (The first pic in this post is of their expressions when they heard the news!)

He told them that whether they get to keep this privilege is up to their behavior, but I have a feeling it won't be a problem. With quarantine, we've been doing a fair amount of screens, and they haven't really had a problem whenever I say it's time to stop. I give them ample warning when we are quitting, and they know they'll get more time again soon, so I'm hopeful it will be fine. Plus, they are motivated to keep this new liberty they've been given.  We shall see.

 My sister and I planned the day over a week ago, deciding to keep it a surprise.  My boys thought they might spend the day out at the land with Josh, and knew for sure we'd have pizza and a movie for family movie night since it's Saturday.  But instead, at around 11:30, the doorbell rang.  The twins answered it, and there sat two presents, wrapped so cute, sitting on the porch.  

The boys ran toward the street as my sister and her crew popped out from beside the garage yelling, "Surprise!" and "Happy Birthday!" The kids all hugged and I held Grady back from attacking everyone- we were all SO excited to have company over. 

They came in and got settled and played for a bit, then we had lunch.  After lunch the twins got to use their birthday gifts from my sister- new squirt guns and 420 water balloons (the kind that are self filling/self tying from Costco).  We went out to "watch the water gun fight" that we assumed would be between the cousins, only to be accosted by our own offspring and end up SOAKING wet.  It was hilarious and maybe the most fun I have had since March.  My throat hurts from screaming. Hahaha!

The twins said it was the highlight of their day.

Once we all dried off, I frosted cupcakes and we sang happy birthday to the oldest two in our crew.  Carly played the ukulele and Jack blew out his candles one by one as we sang.  Logan saved all twelve until the end.  I'm not sure what they wished for... but I hope that their dreams come true.

After cupcakes and ice cream, we played a little more, and then Roxanne and her kiddos had to hit the road for home.  We sadly said our goodbyes, but promised our kids we would be getting together again soon. Very soon!

Before we knew it, Josh got home with Call of the Wild (the boys and I finished reading the book yesterday) and the pizza ingredients we needed and we started movie night.  The kids really enjoyed comparing the movie and the book, and the food was all delish.  

Overall, I would say it was a delightful birthday for the boys, despite it being a strange year, what with Coronavirus and everything.  They got cards from my Grandma with some money inside and from their Grandma & Papa Cunningham as well.  They felt very loved and thought of, and ended the night with big smiles on their faces after playing football with their dad and staying up extra late playing Fortnite, a big deal around here, as we're usually really strict about bedtime. 

I am ending the night feeling so grateful my sister made the effort to bring all four of her kiddos over,  it really made the day; and so grateful for the little family Josh and I created, starting with the surprise of these twins.

 They've never stopped helping me grow, challenging me and fascinating me.

I feel so lucky to be their mom.

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