around here: week 21 2021

 {May 16-22nd}

Inviting... Logan & Jack's best friends over to swim.  Easton & Channing are also identical twins.  In their family they are #3 & #4 whereas Logan & Jack are #1 & #2.  Those boys are all like peas in a pod.  They're so good and have so much fun together.  I love their unique friendships. 

Enjoying... the twins' cooking.  They are making more and more dinners each week, and it brings me such happiness! They love cooking, (and I really don't!) so it's win/win!  

Going... to the doctor with Carly to talk to him about my muscle pain in my legs.  She played so well while we were there.  And I got some medicine to help with the pain I've been dealing with.  

Agonizing... over the sunburn all three boys have from last weekend.  They were cleaning the pool but they never got back out to put on sunscreen before spending the afternoon swimming.  Logan got the worst of it.  His turned into blisters all across his shoulders and back, and even gave him something called Hell's Itch, which I had never heard of before.  He woke up in the night with an intense itch under the sunburn, but the blisters were not anywhere near healing, so scratching them was agonizing.  He was near tears when he woke me up with this itching. 

Struggling... through these last weeks of school.  It feels like it will never end, and I am running out of steam. So are the kids. 

Running... errands with Carly and enjoying our alone time.  I know it's quickly shrinking with summer on it's way with brothers home full time. 

Taking... Carly on a bike ride one afternoon during a panic attack. My sister encouraged me to get out of the house and move my body in an attempt to overcome the physical symptoms.  It was really effective and I was grateful for the good advice. 

Going... on a walk with Josh after we laid the kids down one evening.  It was exactly what I needed. 

Shocked... that Josh has read more books than me so far this year! I have really slowed my reading down, focusing on other things, and he has amped up his reading this year.  He has a commute to work, so he uses that time to listen to audiobooks and that has him racking up books like nobody's business.  It's bringing out the competitive side of me. hehe. I'm hoping I can catch up in the summer. 

Looking... back on the twins' infancy & childhood as we approach their birthday next month.  Gosh they were so darn cute!!

Finding... Carly asleep in the hallway one night as Josh and I were headed to bed. I'm not sure what she was doing there, but it made me giggle. 

Contemplating... raising our kids without church, and deciding that it is the right thing for us. Every once in a while I wonder if our kids will miss out on certain things because we don't go to church.  But the risk that they may not know something about religion or the bible is worth knowing for sure that I am the only one pumping ideas & morals into them. (sidenote: if church works for you/your family, I am happy for you.  It's just not what's right for us.)

Freaking... out when I had a lip twitch that wouldn't quit on Friday.  I had already been having anxiety this week, and that was the final straw.  I gave in to temptation and medical googled, finding that lip twitches can be a sign of ALS, so I was convinced that I had ALS.  (Re-reading this to myself, it sounds ridiculous, but in the moment of my health anxiety, I always actually believe I have whatever I have convinced myself matches my symptoms. It's exhausting.)
This feeling triggered a full on panic attack and I broke down in sobs, exhausted after a week of anxiety and it's physical symptoms.  Wyatt and I had been watching Cars 3 together and I told him I was just having an anxiety flare up. I am never sure how to handle the kids when I am feeling that way... but I find honesty tends to be the best policy.  So I just told him I was worried about my twitch and it was giving me anxiety.  He hugged me and told me he was sorry I felt bad. We took turns soaking our feet in epsom salts and soon I started to feel better. 

Listening... to the "We Can Do Hard Things" podcast by Glennon Doyle & her sister, and loving it. Now every Tuesday I look forward to the new podcast they put out. 

Sending... the twins off to my parents house for the weekend, and enjoying a day with just my two littles.  We decided to take advantage of it just being the three of us, and went to the movies.  We saw Raya and The Last Dragon, which was so cute! And we enjoyed popcorn and candy and slushees.  It was so special. 

Feeling... like the fun mom when I said yes to Wyatt and Carly playing video games in the arcade area of the movie theater when our movie ended.  I love when I feel like the fun mom.  

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Around Here: Week 40 2020

Luxuriating... in a quick trip away with my bestie.  We swam in a gorgeous pool, at breakfast in our room, perused some cute downtown shops (masked up, of course) and even went to Target! Oh how I miss having a Target!

Driving... home from our quick trip while listening to Nickel Boys on audio. It was a devastating read, but so good.

Happy... to be home with Carly again and tucking her sweet self into bed.  She said that when I'm gone her heart is blue like tears, but when we are in her bed snuggling together her heart is a rainbow. I can't even with that girl.

Starting... Week Three of distance learning at home with the boys and taking a different tack. The twins and I are now going through their English & Science lessons together each day and taking notes.  Then when it's time for a test, I have them read their questions and all answer options out loud to me.  Their scores have dramatically improved, and I literally squealed with Jack got 100% on one of the quizzes.  We worked hard for that!

We also worked this week on scientific notation and main ideas... it's a good thing I enjoy learning and teaching or this would be 100x worse. As it is, it's a real challenge!

Starting... my day Tuesday with some quiet time to myself before the kids woke up. Those are always the best days, although it's really hard to make myself climb out of bed that early.

Watching... the presidential debate in its entirety and feeling pretty sad about the state of things. 

Seeing... the doctor for my yearly check up and discussing my IUD, my migraines, my foot pain (apparently it's from wearing flip flops all summer. go figure!) and had him check on my moles and freckles for any abnormalities. It feels good (especially since I suffer from such severe health anxiety) to have those things all crossed off my list.

Saying... goodbye to cousins & in-laws as Josh's sister & her family headed back home after an extended stay.  Carly was so so sad to say goodbye to her BCF (Best Cousin Ever), Liesel, but we assured the girls they will see each other again soon.

Noticing... a running theme in my life which is the dishes being out.of.control.  Something about schooling the boys and running a household at the same time has me constantly behind in the kitchen and on laundry.

Visiting... the pumpkin patch before the season officially opened so we could still make memories but avoid crowds.  There was only one other group of people there, and instead of a hayride to the pumpkin choosing patch, we just walked. It was perfect.  Great weather and fun memories, including Wyatt rolling a 79 pound pumpkin through the patch to our wagon, and his brothers helping him load it on. He is so proud of that thing. It's sure gonna take some work to empty and carve it though! Hah!

Celebrating... Milo's birthday at my sister's house with our crew and my parents and having such a good time. Parties at my sister's are always the best- she does fabulous decorating and makes the greatest gift bags for the kids. And her cake for Milo? With the Jurassic theme? Too cute!!!

We also got to meet my sister's foster kittens, Dusty & Cora, and we are all enamored.  They were found orphaned and so she is their mama.  Feeding them and caring for them until they are big enough to be adopted out. 

Reading... The Road Back To You on audio (it is fascinating to me, and helping me understand those around me so much more! Do you enneagram? I'm a six, and I feel so seen whenever I read about sixes.) I am also working my way through Gilead in preparation for Lila which is October's book club pick.  I am really enjoying Gilead, but it's one that I am reading slowly, pen in hand, and find myself contemplating long after I've put it down. It's about a pastor who is writing his life story (and thoughts) out for his young son, and it's very contemplative. 

Receiving... an amazing gift from my dad. He gave me my very own acoustic guitar after I expressed an interest in learning how to play.  I am so excited to give it a try!!! He and my grandma (his mom) both play, and it's something I've wanted to try for a while.

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And lastly, there is this:

Josh sent me this picture, and I felt so loved, validated and seen.

To my mama friends who are also "doing it all",

I see you.

Good job.

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