Around Here: Week 5 2022

 {January 30-February 5th}

This week's vignette:

It is dark and quiet, only the hush of the fan as it rotates over us, first him, then me, spanning the distance of the room which has two twin beds, soldiers side by side, in a room that my twin sons are rapidly outgrowing.  He lies still, a black silky sleep mask over his eyes.  I watch his chest to see if his breath is regular, if he is asleep.  
The side effects of the COVID booster we opted to get him have been brutal; fever, body aches, chills, and a headache that is giving him a run for his money.  I pull together my arsenal of mom tools to try and soothe him.  Tylenol, fresh ice water, a cool cloth, a heating pad.  But all he really wants is me. And so I sit, barely aware of the din downstairs, dinner being made, his siblings doing homework, dogs barking, and read an ebook in the dark while he tries to sleep on the bed across from me.  
To be honest, there's nowhere else I'd rather be. 

Thankful for this little bit of inspiration from my friend Brittany.
I hung it on my mirror so I can read it on the daily. 
Thanks B!

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Contemplating... getting Wyatt an axolotl.  He wants one so much that he put together a slide show to ask for one.  He shared with us some details about the axolotl and why they make good pets. (For those of you who don't know, axolotls are similar to a salamander, but they live permanently under water) 
In the end, I did my own research and decided we would not be a good household for an axolotl.  They like calm environments with little stimulation and nearly zero sunlight.  They also require really specific water conditions that I am not up to figuring out. Wyatt was disappointed, but Josh reminded him that we did get him a puppy less than a month ago. Ha!

Feeling... proud as I watched the twins leave each morning this week.  They either hug me goodbye if I am downstairs, or text me that they are leaving if I'm upstairs.  I just love those boys. 

Doing... a sweet errand for a friend of mine who moved out of town.  She wanted to reach out to someone here, where I live, and asked me to be the one to fulfill this sweet little kindness.  So I picked up flowers and wrote a note and got to drop them off on behalf of my thoughtful friend. It felt really good to bring some sunshine to someone's day, and to help a friend who's far away. 

Mommin'... this week by learning about Carly's speech stutter from a friend of mine (who is a speech therapist) who stopped by out of the goodness of her own heart to help me out. I can't remember if I shared here that I noticed after Christmas break that Carly was talking a little funny.  Not always, but often enough that it caught my attention and I was able to record it.  My amazing friend Paula came over with some sheets about stuttering, and broke it all down for me. 
Basically Carly has a really rare type of stutter that is related to anxiety, called an Atypical Dysfluency where she takes mid-word breaks (like "wha-at") and does final word repetitions (like "store-ore").  It's uncommon, but there is a type of word play we can do with her to help it.  It was comforting to know that I wasn't being overdramatic (she really is doing something strange) and to know exactly what we can do to help her with it. 
Thankfully she isn't bothered by it, so we just congratulate her, "Hey! You didn't do any bumpy talk. That was all smooth talking!" Or encourage her to try again another way "Let's do robot talk" (breaking her speech up into syllables like "Carl.y.what.are.you.do.ing.to.day?") and then she can correct her speech and move on. 
I was also mommin' pretty hard this week at morning drop off as Carly cried a lot and I tried to come up with ways to keep her feeling positive.  We added more fun songs to our morning playlist for in the car and I've been trying really hard to make sure we aren't rushing, and that she has plenty of time for morning recess so that if she's sad at drop off, she has time to turn it around while playing with her friends. 

Reading... Hollis Woods, which is a sweet story about a little girl in foster care who didn't think she deserved love; Wild at Heart which is #2 in the Wild series by K.A. Tucker, and which I LOVED!; and doing some reading on Fibromyalgia. But not too much because it's all a bit overwhelming. 

Watching... Queer Eye and loving how they make me feel better about myself. Love those guys!

Laughing... as I took Piper to the vet.  She doesn't wear a collar yet, so she didn't know what that (or the leash) were about, and she wanted to be in my lap like a giant baby in the waiting room. She is truly a mama's girl. 
She was so sweet to the vet and his assistant's, just giving them kisses and wanting to be held by them.  I am proud to report that she is potty trained, and only has a pee pad in her crate for night times. So awesome. She is still waking up a bit earlier than I would like, but I'm hoping that will improve. 

Focusing on... letting myself feel my feelings, which meant some time spent crying this week. I am a Highly Sensitive Person who is also an Empath. (ugh) And I have four children, a husband, parents, a sister, two brothers, neighbors, friends, extended family, and two dogs. There are SO many people on God's green earth that I feel connected to and responsible for, and that leads to a LOT of feelings about a LOT of things. (Most of which I cannot control) So when it all gets to be too much, I cry. 

Struggling... to take a walk this week, knowing it is good for me (especially for my fibromyalgia among other things) but also knowing it's really hard.  I ended up going on a sunny morning before my weekly writing course, with Grady for company, and while it was, hands down, the hardest walk I have ever taken (it wasn't even that far, but my lower back pain was super intense by the end) I was really proud of myself. I just kept saying in my head, "We can do hard things. We can do hard things." 

Crossing... 100th Day preparation off the list for Carly by counting out chocolate chips.  She is so smart. And it is SO Carly that she wanted to bring 100 chocolate chips for Hundreds Day. Hah!

Celebrating... Carly getting an award for having the best attitude in her kindergarten class.  Logan heard she got an award and was like, "For what? For being the most cheerful?" We cracked up and Josh goes, "Basically." She is our sunshine girl. 

Learning... about more health concerns for a loved one, and gosh, it's all so heavy on my heart. Wishing I could do more and supporting where I can in the meantime. 

Loving... Carly learning how to write. She wrote Josh and I the sweetest little love notes. I will be keeping mine forever. 
Also loving how she makes each day special. One morning she said she wanted a strawberry on the edge of her water cup.  Let's all remember to do fancy things whenever we feel like it! 

Grateful... for fresh flowers.  Any time I buy myself flowers (or Josh gets me flowers) I find myself so enamored with their beauty and the beauty they bring to our home. 

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Where I Read

I am often asked (usually by fellow busy mothers) how I get so much reading done with four kids, two cats, a dog, a house and a husband. In 2020, I read 105 books. It's looking like this year will be around 60. (Orchestrating distance learning with the boys last school year was a massive time and energy suck, and when I was done, I just wanted to veg, not use my brain more. Ha! So my numbers are down for 2021.) 

"When do you find time to read?" they ask.  

But the answer is that it's not about when I read (if I had to answer that I would say all.the.time) but more about where I read that matters. 

I read in my bed, at the kitchen table, on my couch, on the front porch, in the car pick up line, at the doctors office, while I'm in the drive through pharmacy line, while waiting to pick up my kids from practice or a friends house, and at doctor appointments. I rarely leave home without a book, but on the occasion when I do forget it, I always have an audio book going. 

I listen to my audio books in probably even more places than I read my physical ones.  I listen as I do dishes in the kitchen, fold laundry upstairs, make beds & tidy rooms, run errands around town, grocery shop, and walk the dog in our neighborhood... the list goes on.

I also take turns with Josh reading chapter books to the boys at bedtime. He's working through the Harry Potter series with them, but I just pick and choose different books that strike my fancy and seem like the boys would like them. Some are duds (like The Winter Room by Gary Paulsen, which we just finished. Boring!) but some are surprisingly delightful (like Pax by Sara Klassen. Now I want a fox. Hah!) and it's a great way to get more books added to my monthly numbers while also instilling a love of reading in my kids. 

One more tip I would give, that is slightly personal, is to put a book in each of your bathrooms. Choose books that you are working through, trying to finish.  I prefer poetry, but short stories or a heavy non-fiction could also work, as you tend to want to read those in little bits so as to absorb everything.  I just started that trick last month, and my reading went from 2 books in September to 9 in October. 

So if you're trying to increase how much you're reading, don't focus on when to read. Think about where you could read. Is there ten minutes in your day where you're waiting for something and could read a quick 15 pages? Could you listen to an audio book while you workout or make dinner? Maybe you could set bedtime a little earlier to squeeze in a few more chapters.  And when you're hitting the road to go anywhere, make sure you have an audiobook downloaded so you can get the pages read to you. That's one of my favorites.

Where do you read? 
I am always looking for ways to get more reading out of my days,
so I'd love to hear your ideas. 

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Around Here: Week 28 2021

 {July 4-10th}

Hosting... fourth of July at our house.  It was such a fun day!  My parents, sisters family, cousin Alix's family, brother-in-law and his girlfriend and my nephew and his girlfriend all came to swim and eat and be together.  
I went on my first ever "beer run" (at 38) to get more White Claws and Truly's.  haha!

Sending... Jack home with my parents for a sleepover and getting a bonus night for him at my sister's house.  He had so much fun with his cousins and grandparents, kayaking and swimming and making some sweet summer memories.  

Discovering... the twins struggle to sleep apart. Logan could NOT sleep with Jack gone.  Poor kid! Makes me worry about when they grow up and no longer live together or share a room. 

Letting... Logan go sleepover at his friends' house since Jack was out of town and he was bored. 

Planning... our garage sale and gathering all the last bits and pieces that we no longer need or want.  It has been the biggest project, but I am so happy with how the house is feeling now that it's less cluttered, more organized and I know where everything is. 

Noticing... the blue sky and the amazing clouds we get here.  I grew up in the Pacific Northwest, so it was rare to have a beautiful sunny day with blue skies and fluffy white clouds.  It was often grey and more often raining.  I don't think I will ever get over the lovely skies here and how dry it is. It's just the best. 

Listening... to Glennon Doyle's new podcast "We Can Do Hard Things" and loving every second.  She always does it with her sister, Amanda, but sometimes her wife Abby joins them, and they are just so relatable and the things they talk about are the same as what is often on my mind.  This week was entitled "Queer Freedom" and in it Abby talked about how she separated the idea of God from that of the church, and Glennon answered the hard questions: Can I love you and disagree with your lifestyle?"

Her answer:

"You don't disagree with someone's identity. I am queer. 

You're not disagreeing with me, you're rejecting me. 

It's not soft to disagree with me. It's violent. 

So the question is:

"Can I reject you and still love you?"

And the answer is "No."

Loved that.

Celebrating... all the kids being cavity free at the dentist.  It's the first time that all four kids have gone and been "sugar bug free"! We were ecstatic!

Resting... a lot these days and sleeping in as often as possible.  The kids are super self reliant and I feel like I've made it to the end of a marathon whose final leg I couldn't see.  It snuck up on me.  

For so many years on the weekends, I would get up with the kids on Saturday, and Josh would get up on Sunday so the other could sleep in on their "off day", and now we can sleep in every day, and the kids can feed, dress and entertain themselves.  Suddenly we have the freedom to sleep in, or run an errand or go for a walk, and they can take care of each other. It's mind blowing to finally be in this stage.

Building... a Lego bus!!! (Well, Wyatt did!) He worked so darn hard on that thing, and his ability to follow directions and master these amazing Lego builds is beyond me. I joke that even if he did need help, I could likely not help him! So it's a good thing he knows what he's doing. 

Kayaking... as a family at the lake and then coming home and making dinner for the family.  It just felt really good, like maybe I'm not doing everything wrong.  To be out in the sunshine with them, and to nourish their bodies with good food felt really nice. 

Reading... Gift From the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh (for the third time) and loving it just as much as ever.  It's such an old book, yet somehow timeless.  She (the writer, a wife and mother) makes me feel so seen and understood.  I listened on audio the first time, and really enjoyed it, then I read the book.  

I loved these quotes in particular:

"We do not see the results of our giving as concretely as man does in his work."

and

"Solitude, says the moon shell.  Every person, especially every woman, should be alone sometime during the year, some part of each week, and each day."

and this was my favorite:

"How to remain whole in the midst of the distractions of life; how to remain balanced, no matter what centrifugal forces tend to pull one off center; how to remain strong no matter what shocks come in at the periphery and tend to crack the hub of the wheel."

Attending... book club in person with nearly the whole group for the first time in almost a year and a half.  I was so happy to sit among my friends and discuss our lives.  Being wives and mothers and how the book impacted us and what stood out.  Just to feel so buoyed up by their love and understanding.  Gosh I am thankful for those ladies. 

Walking... with my friend Becky this week to meet some health goals we set.  It was HOT, but at the end we were glad we went!

Taking... Logan to the doctor for a same-day appointment when he got a really bad headache that caused numbness in his left side and nausea.  He came home from my friend Shana's (where he was going to work for her) and threw up.  After the vomiting, he felt much better, but this is at least the third time that he has had a headache so bad it made him vomit.  
The plan is for him to have a prescription of the same meds I take for my migraines (sumatriptan) and to order an MRI to make sure that this isn't anything to do with his Chiari malformation that they found a few years ago from imaging we did during his seizures. 
My little brother had migraines that made him throw up during middle school, and my mom and I both suffer migraines, so I think that's all it is, but I will be relieved to rule out anything more serious.  Especially since we just weaned him off his seizure meds and he is now grown out his epilepsy.

Laughing... at Molly eating Grady's dog food out of his bowl.  Sometimes he scoots her away gently and eats it himself, but sometimes he's not hungry, so she will eat a few kibbles.  It's so silly, they are bigger than her paws!

Grateful... to Josh for taking all the kids to the land for the day to play with cousins while I got a day to myself in the quiet house.  It was ever so lovely and I don't know that I'll ever tire of being in my house alone occasionally. 

Catching... a sweet moment between Logan and Carly (which tend to be pretty far between) when he was teaching her how to lean into the front door to get the deadbolt to unlock.  She struggles with that and it was so kind how he took a minute to show her.  The two of them can be oil and water, as they both want to be the boss of the other, so tender moments between them stand out. 

Enjoying... date night by going for a swim with Josh and his brother Samuel and her girlfriend.  I feel so lucky to have our pool, and to have Josh's brother here in town to join us occasionally for pizza and a movie, and that this is our life. It's so beautiful. 

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This brought me comfort:

Food for thought:

I follow Tiffany Roe on instagram and her insight to church abuse and the pain of leaving the church has been very healing. 

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