Screen-Free {midweek} Update

 We are starting Day Three of Screen-Free week, and I have had an epiphany.  This is what being a stay-at-home mom should look like.  I am waking up before my kids, posting my daily blog and enjoying some quiet time before we hit the ground running.  As soon as they are up, I am on. And it feels so good.  

Yesterday I made four loaves of bread, a batch of cookies, lasagna for dinner and did all the dishes. Twice.  I am working my way through all our homeschool curriculum as well as crafts and quiet activities, reorganizing the shelves in the kitchen and playroom.  It is time consuming, but feels really good.

Staying offline from 6:30am when the kids wake up until 7:30pm when the kids are asleep makes the day seem so long. But not in the way you think.  It makes the day long as in, I can't believe how much I can get done in a single 13 hour period.  I am getting more done and spending more time with my kids than ever before.  I can't believe how much time the internet was stealing from me. And my kids.

I am more plugged in with the boys, have more patience and more fun while I am being present.  

I find that every evening, I look forward to my "me time", checking my email, Facebook and blog again after spending the day away.  It has given my parenting its *magic* back, but it has also given my online time its *magic* back.

I am hearing more of what the kids say, and it's awesome.  This morning Wyatt was going potty and he said to me, "I'm going to throw up in heaven."  I have no idea what that means, but it was so random, I had to laugh.  

Jack was talking to Logan about their "plans" for the playground and Jack said he was going to be a bad guy unless Michael met us there.  Logan responded, "So let me get this straight..." I was dying! Where do they get this stuff?!?

When I told Jack was making cookies for afternoon snack, he snapped his head around and looked at me where I stood behind him and said, "Are you for real?"  I was laughing so hard.  Then I asked him if he was for real.

With the extra time I have dedicated to the boys, we've been having some really fun conversations.  The first one was on Monday with Jack.  He was asking why I chose to have twins.  I told him I didn't choose it.  He said, "Did you only want one baby?" 

I assured his sweet blue eyes that I had planned on only one baby, but God knew I needed to be a twin mommy.  I told him it was the best surprise!  Then I explained how he became a twin.  That the zygote in my belly split into two magically and that's how he and Logan became twins.  He was fascinated.

 Yesterday the twins and I talked about color blindness.  I have known for a while that they are colorblind, but hadn't yet shared that with them. I wasn't sure what to say, and honestly, it hadn't come up for them personally.  Yesterday we were working in their dinosaur book and they were decoding (using symbols to find out what each dinosaur's name meant) when I discovered both Logan and Jack had mixed up the green and orange dinosaur symbols.

I explained to the boys that the answer was "A", not "E" because the dinosaur was a different color.  Then I told them that they struggled to identify it because they are colorblind.  I told them that means they can see lots of colors, but not all the colors.  I assured them that it might be annoying, but wasn't a huge deal, and that their Papa Barry is colorblind, too.

Logan wanted to know why they are colorblind. I told him that it passed from my Great Grandpa Arthur to Grandma Woo Woo, and then from Papa Barry to me, and finally from me to them.  

They both then proceeded to prove to me that they are not indeed colorblind by pointing out colors they could label and identify.  I assured them that they can see many colors, but there are some that their eyes just don't register.  Logan asked if their glasses could fix it, and pointed out that there's two things wrong with their eyes-- they don't see well, and they don't see all the colors.  

Then we talked about how their eyes are shaped like footballs instead of basketballs and (like Wyatt and Josh) they need glasses to correct that. I told them how lucky they are that their glasses make their vision good, but that colorblindness is different and can't be corrected.  Slowly they seemed to accept the news and then Logan asked me, kind of choked up, "But I don't know where the colorblind is in my body?" He was touching his throat like he thought he could give it to someone else and I assured him that it's not contagious or like a germ.  

That's how I ended up spending the morning explaining DNA to my five year olds.  They wanted to know why Wyatt didn't have colorblindness and why they did, and where it was inside them... so I drew a picture of DNA, telling them that you can only see DNA with a microscope, but that it contains all the directions for how they should look.  I explained that they have the same DNA, whereas most everyone else has their own.  That their shared DNA is why they look the same, why they are both colorblind and why they have the same physical mannerisms.

Then Jack asked why he gets sick on planes and Logan doesn't, so our DNA conversation turned into a conversation on epigenetics, which I explained to them as buttons along our DNA that get turned off or on.  Then Jack wanted to know why he and Logan were different-handed if they were truly identical.  Holy cow! So then we had to talk about the fact that they are mirror twins, and that how they split inside me made them opposite each other, but that their DNA is still the same...

We also learned rhyming words and what triceratops means.  :)

*

Jack is my tender heart when it comes to caretaking. He absolutely loves babies, and is especially fond of our friends' little twin girls who are the same age as Wyatt.  

His security item has always been these "santa bears" that he and Logan got for their first Christmas when they were six months old.  These are his twins.  His twins are girls, which I think is sweet, and they love to be held.  At nap time, instead of doing his silent reading, I will often walk in and find him "rocking" his babies to sleep like me.

Monday he was wanting to push the miniature grocery cart and everything wasn't fitting, so I got my Ergo out of the Arctic Entry and put it on him so he could "wear" his bubbas. It was the sweetest thing ever.  I love that boy!

*

The Clinic

 All of Screen Free Week has not been easy.  Monday I needed to be seen at the clinic (sinus infection of some sort), so I bundled up the kids and we walked the half a mile downtown to see the Health Aid.  I vacillated between wanting to bring the tablets to entertain the children while I was seen, and wanting to face the challenge of bringing them without... so we left the tablets at home, adhering to screen free week even at the most inconvenient of times.

{View downriver}

 We left the house at 10:30am.  At 10:45am we were still on the road and I felt like I was herding cats.  Or turtles. It was painfully slow.  

Eventually we made it, only a few minutes late, and I was seen. The boys were okay while I was getting checked, but not having the tablets definitely made them more active and they were in and out of the room, climbing on the clinic furniture in the waiting room and talking the ears off every adult they saw.

 I left the clinic with some sudafed, cough medicine and sinus spray, feeling relieved to not be on antibiotics, and we headed home in the 34 degree sunshine.

 On the way to the clinic, the wind had been at our faces, so heading home it felt nice to have the wind at our back and the sun on our faces.

 We meandered on the way home since I wasn't in a hurry, and I was letting the boys throw rocks in huge puddles that had iced over in the night.  They love the satisfying CRACK of the ice breaking under the weight of the rocks.

 After a bit, I decided that if I was going to let them play at the forklift on the way home (there's a broken down forklift on the side of the road that is their absolute favorite thing to play on) we should get going, as it was pretty cold despite the sunshine.

{Mt. Pilcher behind the clinic}

 I was trying to convince Wyatt to come with me (He was responding with his new favorite thing to say, "I hate that.") when I heard it. 

CRACK.

SPLASH.

 Logan had walked on the ice atop the puddle, and as it cracked under his weight, he plunged one leg in, up to his thigh, soaking himself in freezing cold water.

 So I had Wyatt throwing rocks in the water, telling me "I hate going home. I hate walking. I hate doing this every time!" 

 I had Logan sobbing because a) he was freezing and b) he knew I was mad,

{Houses in Marshall}

and I had Jack stomping his feet and crying because I told them now we couldn't go to the forklift to play.

 It was a long (long, long) walk home.

{The Catholic Church}

 I decided to make the best of it though, reminding myself to breathe and that "kids will be kids", and held Logan's hand as we made our way back to the house.

We finally made it home, Logan got on some dry clothes and I made the boys a picnic lunch on the living room floor.  We had survived!

*

I feel best when I am doing my best.  Being online all the time and checking Facebook constantly was not allowing me to be my best.  Now I feel like a confident, capable homemaker.  I feel like an able wife & mother. I feel like a focused, intelligent homeschooler.   All that multi tasking was stealing my days, as well as my focus.

 Now when I have a spare moment, I spend the time meditating. I think of what thoughts I'd like to change, what I'm doing well and what I'd like to work on, and I really hear my kids when they talk to me. It feels amazing. 

 This little buddy is going through some serious withdrawal (he probably asked to watch a movie six times yesterday), but I can tell it's been good for him because his independent play periods are getting longer, and he is falling asleep so much faster at night.

Here's hoping Day Three is as good as Days One and Two! 

(Minus the muddy water, tantrums & tears, of course!)

Twin Type + Dr. Segal + Colorblindness

 Recently my mom was watching an episode of The Doctors that had identical mirror twins on the show.  Dr. Sears explained to viewers that mirror twins typically split between 9 and 10 days post fertilization and that they are the last split before conjoined twins, which never fully separate.

I had been under the impression previously that my twins' zygote split between day 3 and 4 because they were diamniotic, dichorionic twins.  (Twins with their own sacs and their own placentas.)

But I also felt certain they were mirror twins.  Jack is right handed, his hair whorl goes clockwise, his front cowlick goes to the right, and his prominent dimple is in his right cheek.  Logan is the complete opposite: He is left handed, his hair whorl on the back of his head goes counter clockwise, his front cowlick goes to the left, and his prominent dimple is in his left cheek.

After hearing this new information about when mirror twins split and comparing it with my knowledge of the boys' twin type, I knew I needed more information.  We know for certain that Logan & Jack are identical (we had their DNA tested for their first birthday to be sure), but I couldn't be sure my memory was correct about them being di-di twins.  I just didn't have the answers!  I ended up ordering our medical records (mine and theirs) from the hospital and our old health insurance company.

Reading through the mountain of paperwork I received was fascinating.  

I confirmed (both via ultrasound reports and an actual pathology report) that the twins had separate sacs and placentas, and were monozygotic, diamniotic, dichorionic twins.  But I was still confused.  How are they mirror twins if they split soon enough to have their own sacs & placentas? It just didn't make any sense.

I read and read and read, every online article I could get my hands on, about mirror twins; when what splits occur; and what twin types are created, and couldn't find anything that made sense for my particular situation.

Finally I found world renowned twin expert (and fraternal twin herself) Dr. Nancy Segal's website and read a few more articles on twin genetics.  This lead me to a fascinating occurrence in identical twins called epigenetics {amazing video explaining epigenetics in identical twins} where certain environmental factors can activate or deactivate genes, explaining the differences identical twins often display, especially as they age.

On Dr. Segal's website I found (!!!) her contact information (email and phone number). I was beside myself! I decided to email her and hope for the best.  

Hi Dr. Segal,

I am the mother of a set of dichorionic/diamniotic identical twin boys.  (We did a DNA test on their first birthday to determine zygosity, and I recently received copies of their medical records confirming they were di/di twins.)  They were born June 6, 2008 and will turn six shortly.

I had assumed pretty much from birth that if they were identical, they were mirror twins based on the hair whorls that went opposite directions on the back of their heads and the cowlicks they have on mirrored sides of their foreheads.  They have since displayed their handedness (Baby A, Logan, being left handed; and Baby B, Jack, being right handed.)

The question I have is this:
How is it that Logan & Jack appear to be mirror twins (which split fairly late in development) but were di/di twins, which are said to split before Day 4?  Is it possible that epigentics is playing a role in their handedness?  

They were discordant twins, with Baby A weighing 4lbs. 6oz. and Baby B weighing 6lbs. 13oz.  And they differ in size currently, by about ten pounds in weight and nearly 2 inches in height.

I would be so fascinated to hear your take on this, or be directed to someone (anyone!) who could shed some light on it.

Thank you so much,
for reading this, and also for the work you do with twins.
It's all so fascinating!
Sincerely,
Rochelle Cunningham

She emailed me two days later with a response.  I was elated!

Rochelle,

The day of division is an estimate--it may be that if your boys split at about day 4-5 they could still show some reversals--a fascinating pair!

Dr. Segal

---

In my research on twins, twin type, and epigenetics, I came across quite a few interesting twin sites.  Perhaps the most informative was this one with 17 facts about twins.  Number 10 is especially disturbing, but also explains why raising Wyatt has seemed so easy in comparison to his brothers.  

Another favorite is this one by NBC.  It set out originally to prove that being the mother of twins would be really burdensome and perhaps result in a shorter lifespan.  Instead they found that mothers of twins "lived longer, had longer reproductive life spans, needed less time to recover between pregnancies, and had more children overall."  It says that having twins doesn't make us live longer, it says that we are stronger in the first place!  Fascinating!

The last topic I wanted to touch on before signing off for the evening is colorblindness.  I have wondered for a while if the twins were color blind.  As Wyatt's ability to correctly label colors has improved/increased, I have been increasingly concerned that Logan and Jack are colorblind.

Last weekend I gave them two tests.

This one, seen above, for small children of just about any age.

And this one where the child needs to be able to recognize numbers.

On the one pictured above, the twins did not see the squirrel or bear AT ALL.  The first thing Wyatt pointed out was the bear.  On the other test, The Ishihara 38 Plate CVD Test, they both scored as having Moderate red-green deficiency.  From what I can tell thus far, they struggle to differentiate between brown & green, yellow & light green, and purple & blue.

 Immediately when I got the results I posted them to Facebook, seeking the advice of my dad, who is also colorblind.  He said, "It's not the worst thing, but it sucks."  I appreciated his point of view. He has managed to live with it for 50+ years, so my outlook for both Jack & Logan is good, however, I must admit, I am sad for them. I am sad that they can't see the bear or the squirrel. I am sad that at Saturday Social they can't always tell the lady behind the counter which color Slushee they want.  I am sad that when they are trying really hard to follow the directions on a coloring sheet, the green is brown, the purple is blue and the yellow is light green.  

The discussion on Facebook got really interesting really quick thanks to some of my relatives.  

Colorblindness is an X linked chromosome, which means that it is mostly carried by women (who are XX) and displayed by men (who are XY).  My dad is colorblind, and when he donated an X to make me, it had colorblindness on it.  However, since I also had my mom's X to choose from, I am not colorblind.  When Josh and I went to have babies, though, I had two X's to choose from, and the poor twins got my colorblind X, which I inherited from my dad.

What is amazing about this is that my dad got his colorblindness the same way.  My great grandpa Arthur was color blind, and passed his colorblind X to my Grandma Pansy, who then passed it on to my dad.  We are five generations deep in this thing!

I was also fascinated to learn that among Grandma Pansy's three sisters, every single one has a descendent who is colorblind (two have colorblind sons, one has a colorblind grandson), but her two brothers are not color blind and none of their offspring are colorblind.

I am bummed for Logan and Jack that they are colorblind, relieved for Wyatt that he's not, and anxious for our appointment with our eye doctor this summer to confirm my "home testing" and see what, if anything, I can do to help them with this.