Camping at Cougar :: Days 1 & 2

Oh camping.

Oh camping how we love you.

This year we went camping again at Cougar (where I grew up camping) with my parents and my sister and Josh's brother. There was a whole gang of us, and we had so much fun.  I got glimpses this year into what future camping will look like.  The boys entertaining themselves, me sitting in a camp chair with a good book... It looks so dreamy!

This guy is amazing. 

I know you know that, as I have been singing his praises all summer, but on this camping trip it was especially true.  I spent the entire day Friday in bed. Napping and agonizing, still in pain from my wisdom tooth extraction, and nauseous from the pain pills.  This meant Josh not only manned the children, he also packed everything.

I am so grateful for him.

He packed the car and loaded the kids and I crept to the car.  I was horrendously nauseous the entire drive, but when we finally got there, and the good times began.  

Setting up camp, running around in the dirt,

and hanging with our loved ones!

My sister's little one, Milo, is four months younger that Wyatt.  

They are pretty cute together!

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On the second day we swam down at the water hole, and I caught a salamander for the boys!  I loved swimming with them there because the water was really low, so they were super comfortable, which meant we had a lot more fun!  The water was freezing (!!!) but felt so good.

{Fear not: the salamander was released shortly after these pictures!}

We also played with our brothers,

and did some dancing.

Back at camp that night, we roasted marshmallows,

fighting with the smoke for the sake of a golden mallow.

All three big boys were overjoyed to sit down and enjoy their treats.

Ferris

Logan

All too soon it was bedtime for the twins.  We got jammies on, went potty, read books, rubbed them down with bug-bite wipes to keep the mosquitos away, and before their heads hit their pillows they were OUT!

Look how sweet they are in their big boy sleeping bags.

Oh I do love those boys. 

And I love sleeping in our tent together as a family.

This little guy, though, had NO interest in going to sleep.

Instead of fighting it, I just rolled with it and let him stay up.  One of the benefits I am finding of having a singleton, is that it is much easier to just go with the flow. I don't have to worry if Wyatt gets off his "schedule" because there's only him to worry about. It's sooo lovely.  I am really enjoying it.

Josh and I even took him on an evening walk, just the three of us, with my parents back at camp keeping an ear out for the twins.

He thought he was so cool going for a walk in his dino jammies and shark boots. 

Such a big, big boy.

My boy.

He is just my very heart.

And I love him.

When we got back to camp he and Milo decided they needed some glow-in-the-dark bling.

Ferris, Wyatt & Milo

I think Ferris loves baby Wyatt as much as I do!!!

Stay tuned:

More to come

let's get real

{my messy kitchen + loads of unfolded laundry}

I saw an awesome post on my friend Liz's facebook page. It was a real-mom's look at the inside of her hall closet. Tornado-ville.  She said she has tried every organizational trick under the sun, but two days later, it always ends up looking like it does now.

{the toys have taken over the dining room table}

She linked her moment of honesty to Momster-mash.com, where today's post was called "Don't Let Comparison Steal Your Joy".  I clicked over and read the piece about how easy it is to let other blogger moms or Pinterest pins makes us feel less than.  Their idea is to combat it with a glimpse into "real life" on Wednesdays.

It sounded inspiring to me, so I thought I'd snap some pictures of our house currently and play along. 

{this is the one free space in the house the kids can't reach, hence the piles}

I have been sick now for six days.  And just this morning, Josh came down with it. He is writhing in pain upstairs, feverish and miserable, and missing what is only the third day of school, while I am barely feeling better, trying to muster along caring for our three still-completely-active-and-healthy boys.  

My goal is to get through the day. 

Maybe even just the hour. 

Rest when I need to.  

Get done what I can when I can.  

Meanwhile, my house is gonna be looking "real" for a while,
and my kids are gonna look like this:

Plugged in to the Phineas & Ferb on the TV so this mama can get some much needed rest.

caring

With my illness has come a severe case of homesickness.

I have called my mom everyday, and texted multiple times with both my sister and Josh's sister.  

I also texted other friends, asking for prayers & strength.

The overwhelming consensus is that I am loved & my loved ones believe I can do hard things.

Everyone is praying, and I am so grateful.

The people around me here have been amazing, too.  Konnie watched the boys so I could go to the clinic; Nick drove me to and from the clinic; Peter gave me applesauce, and Krista gave me Gatorade and a Dasani flavored juice pack.

With my homesickness and my actual illness, I have also been suffering the worst anxiety of my life.  I spent all of Sunday night (at 3am) in tears on the couch, googling medical terms, and sobbing hysterically.  I am lucky in that my mom suffers also, and has been able to talk me down every time I call her.  I am so thankful for her. I am so thankful that she gets me.

Being so scared is the worst feeling.  Feeling out of control isn't much better.  Finally today I took an anti-anxiety pill and saw my symptoms start to subside.  I hope this is a sign that I'm getting better. 

 Thank you for your thoughts & prayers everyone.  

Thank you so much.

"One person caring about another represents life's greatest value."

-Jim Rohn

Uncle Steve

{Steve & Dad}

At the end of June my dad's brother, my Uncle Steve, along with his wife Kathy, flew up from Dallas Texas to see us & the rest of the family.

The boys were happy to spend an evening hanging at Nanny's house.

And I was happy for the chance to catch up with Steve & Kathy.

The Tucker Family with Steve & Kathy

I just love Aunt Kathy.  

I enjoy talking with her and hearing about her life with Steve in Texas.

I think my sister and I both enjoyed showing off our boys,

and spending the evening with loved ones!

Brightness of Hope

I am sick.

Really sick.  

I have been sick since Friday, and on Sunday & Monday it got really intense.

Today, miraculously, has been better.  (But perhaps only because I haven't eaten anything.)

But I am still scared.  I afraid of not getting better or worse. I am afraid of having to fly to Anchorage for medical care (by myself!) and afraid of leaving Josh and the boys.  I have never traveled by myself from the village before. 

{Logan}

I am afraid this is a complication from the medication I took when I had my wisdom teeth out.  I am bummed that I was supposed to start homeschooling today and couldn't.  I am grateful we have a clinic, and that I got some good medical advice from the on-call doctor in Anchorage.

{Sweet Aaliyah}

I hate being sick. I don't handle it well.  My anxiety always gets the best of me, and I start imagining horrific outcomes. I am also prone to googling.  The mix of medical advice from Google and my anxiety is not a good one.

{Jack}

I need to be well. I want to be well. I want to be able to take care of Josh and the boys' needs, as well as our house. And I have not been able to do that. It's all I can do to get through the day.  

{Sadie, our neighbor's dog}

I have broken down in tears too many times to count. I hate how the fear takes over my mind and my body.  I start shaking and can't clear my mind of all the worry.

Today I messaged a handful of friends asking for prayer.  I myself can't get through this. 

I need your help. 

I need your prayers.  If you have a moment, will you lift me up?  Will you ask God to grant me peace and heal my body? It would mean so much to me.

{Wyatt with Thumper, the neighbor's other dog}

This afternoon I was reading a link from Liz (Josh's cousin's wife) about God and motherhood.  

There was a quote in the last paragraph that struck me.

"Rely on Him.  Rely on Him heavily... and press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope."

As I {hopefully} continue to get better, I am going to attempt to talk back to my negative thoughts and have about me a brightness of hope.  I am going to tell myself that the tasks seem daunting now, but once I am well, they will be far less intimidating.

This journey toward getting well would be all the brighter if you would join me. 

Thank you for your love & well wishes.  

I need them now more than ever.