around here: week 9 2021

 {February 21-27th}

Reading... Secrets by Robin Jones Gunn.  I was super into this series as a young teen and thought it would be fun to revisit them. It was.  Very good, wholesome story.

Hitting up... Costco with my bestie, masks on.  It was so fun to get away with her for an afternoon.  We ate lunch in the car, chatting the whole time, before heading in to get all our things.  Costco is about an hour from our town, so we got in loads of talking time as well. Just love that girl!!

Enjoying... the flowers I bought on said Costco trip.  The amount of joy that flowers bring me is immeasurable (as you can see in all the pictures of them!)

Walking... twice this week with Josh.

Stuffing... in my emotions instead of letting them out. This whole "feel the feelings" thing is hard work!!

Laughing... when I found a cereal bowl left out with an ice cream scoop having been used for a spoon. Our dishes were backed up and instead of washing a spoon, one of the twins grabbed this gigantic ice cream scoop to use. Haha!

Working... in counseling on saying to myself, "I am safe".  My anxiety likes to trick me otherwise, and it's important for me to remind myself (constantly) that I am safe. I am okay.

Having... self-compassion, which is super hard for me. I have compassion and empathy for others that I do not share so generously for myself.  I need to remember that my kids are great, and so am I!

Learning... that I am not responsible for how everyone feels.  I will apologize for the weather sometimes, or for COVID or quarantine. I am not in control of any of those things, so why am I apologizing for them? It's an old pattern of behavior that I am trying to break. It's not something I have to do, not something I owe anyone. 

Loving... how Carly and her cousin Liesel facetime everyday.  They play Roblox or Among Us, and show each other their toys. It's so precious!

Listening... to Mommy Doomsday on the NBC Podcast.  What a disturbing and fascinating story. 

Randomly... wanting and making pumpkin pie, which is SO easy now that I have a dough cutter and crust cover. I got both on Amazon, and they have changed the pie-making game! 

Enjoying... an evening snuggle with Wyatt when he woke up with a tummy ache one night.  It made me realize we don't snuggle as much as we used to, and I miss it!  Time is so hard!

Grateful... when I got home from my walk one evening and found the most thoughtful little note from Jack.  Molly had knocked over a cup of water, soaking my Modern Mrs. Darcy reading challenge page, and he found it, cleaned it up, and didn't want me to worry about what had happened.  

This one made me laugh.

around here: week 8 2021

 {February 14-20th}

Can you just HEAR this picture?

Reading... The Kiss Quotient, which is an adorable love story about a girl on the autism spectrum trying to figure out relationships. I read it in two days! I am also listening to The Kite Runner on audio. So good!

Putting... a cast on Logan's hand for his broken pinky because he just can't keep on the splint.  I am worried it's not going to heal right, so his doctor and I decided that casting it was the safest choice. Logan wasn't thrilled, but I have to do what's best for him in the long run.

Loving... my husband for bringing me yellow roses the day after Valentine's Day.  He was busy working (finishing the cabinet install for our old neighbors) on actual Valentine's Day, so we didn't celebrate, but the next day he came home with flowers. And he chose yellow because he knows I hate red. I think red is cliche and not as pretty as the other colors. (So random, I know. I don't know how he puts up with me. Hah!)

Playing... Oregon Trail (online) with Wyatt just like I did in fourth grade! Wyatt was not impressed with the graphics (or lack thereof) but we did have SO much fun playing. We were laughing so hard by the end.  His cousin Milo as well as Jack (he named the players after his cousins and siblings) drown in a river crossing; Carly got a snake bite, then got lost, then died; and finally Wyatt died.  He was only about halfway down the trail and ran out of water.  It was a really fun assignment his teacher sent out, and I was grateful to have part of school we enjoyed!

Cleaning... up the milk spill Carly had Wednesday on her way to dump her bowl in the sink. I am grateful she cleans up after herself (by putting her dirty dishes in the sink)... but this time I think I would have preferred she left it on the table.  (Whoever says "Don't cry over spilled milk" doesn't realize how dang sticky it is! What a mess!!) 

Enjoying... Monday off for President's Day weekend.  Schooling the kids at home has me more pumped for days off than ever before. I am as excited (or moreso) than the kids!

Working out... 3x this week, per my promise to myself. I am so glad that I am doing this.  I feel amazing!

Going... to my sleep study consult.  We think that I may have sleep apnea, and my doctor recommended an oxygen meter to wear one night to see how I did.  Well, my oxygen dropped 47 times in one night. Not good.  So the next step is a sleep study and then go from there.

Still... having so much fun with our apple peeler/corer/slicer.  My mom bought it for us (it's Pioneer Woman) and my kids go ga-ga for it!! 

Attending... counseling on the 19th, via doctorondemand.com (I can't say enough good things about how simple, affordable and life changing this app has been for me!) and talking about how I am allowed to enjoy eating.  And also the terrible realization that life is both good and bad.  I know that sounds ridiculous, but I am a black & white thinker, so grey is tough for me.  Remembering, constantly, that life is a sliding scale, and both good and bad can exist at the same time, in the same place, even in the same person, is mind bending for me.  

Enduring... some really mean, negative self talk.  Along with my belief in things being black or white, good or bad, I also believe that I fall into the loser category when compared with winners who have their lives all together.  Giving others grace I can do, all day long... but when it comes to giving myself grace, or the benefit of the doubt, or reminding myself that I am doing my best, I suck.  
I've also been questioning my worth since I don't bring in a paycheck.  My counselor suggested I do some research on the benefits of being a stay-at-home parent, and also that I talk back to the negative voices that are trying to bring me down. 

Looking... ahead to summer (and afternoons spent in our pool!) and purchasing myself some new swimsuits as well as a new cover up.  I am so excited to see if I like my meet.curve suits.  I even ordered myself a two piece. I haven't worn one of those since before I was married! I'll be sure to keep you posted. 

Receiving... the sweetest (and cutest!) little Valentine's gift from my mom.  She got me a cat ring holder to go by my sink for when I need to take my rings off to cook or wash my hands.  The kitty's tail holds the ring, and I just think it is the sweetest! Thanks mom!

Taking... the kids outside to play in the snow one morning because snow is pretty, school is hard and you only live once, right?!  I shoveled our driveway while they played and let me tell you: Josh makes that look easy. Easy!! I came in (after what was a pretty halfass job, honestly) and was wet under my snow gear like I had showered in my clothes.  I was SO sweaty.  And I was sore for a week. Josh and the twins shovel snow like it's sweeping up dog hair. They're amazing and I am not worthy. Hah!

While we were outside Jack & Wyatt built one wall of an igloo; Logan made a snow cave (that he could actually fit in!) and Carly sat on the porch eating (hopefully fresh) snow.  Grady jumped around in the waist high snow like a fox, happiest I've ever seen him. It was a super fun morning. I'm grateful we seized the day. 

Thinking... about overthinking (ironic, right?) after listening to Anne Bogel's new book "Don't Overthink It" on Hoopla.  It offered lots of practical advice to limit the number of decisions you are forced to make everyday, and I have found it so helpful. I definitely was suffering decision fatigue, and Bogel's advice for that is to make as many routine decisions as you can, without thinking. For example, every night when I go to bed, I floss, brush my teeth, wash my face and take my medications.  It's not negotiable. I don't have to think about it, decide what steps I'm going to do. I just do all of those things, every night. That prevents overthinking. My mornings are less sure, so my goal is to get them a little more regimented.  Anyway, if you're an overthinker like me, I think you'd enjoy the audio version of Don't Overthink It. It's narrated by Bogel herself, and her voice is very soothing and encouraging.  

Letting... Carly paint as often as I can. She asks nearly daily, but I try to say yes regardless because I know that the art is good for her, and the mess isn't as bad as I think it will be. It's still hard, because it's still a pain to clean up afterward, but it keeps her entertained and she loves it. 

Happy... that Molly is all better after getting fixed last week.  She was pretty out of it for the better part of three days, and I made her sleep in our room to make sure Grady wasn't too rough with her (they play hard sometimes!) but she's back to her regular, healthy, crazy, kitty self. Thank goodness!

Raising... a little reader in Carly.  She wants to be just like mommy and just like brothers, which means at bedtime when normally I would turn off her light and leave, she's been begging me to let her turn on her bed lights (twinkle lights we wrapped around her daybed) and read like me & the boys. A couple nights a week I let her, and I usually walk in a half hour later to find her like you see above: passed out with her little pink glasses still perched on her nose, books and bubbas taking up most of the room on her bed, and the lights still on, making her look like a little angel. 

Enjoying... a Saturday afternoon to myself when my mom offered to take all four kids for a few hours. It was absolutely glorious and I did a whole lot of nothing at all.  I diamond dotted and watched Grey's Anatomy (what will I do when I reach the last season?!?) and just soaked in the peace & quiet. It was so lovely.

***

around here: week 7 2021

 {February 7-13th}

Waking up... Sunday to see that Josh had hung my "See The Good" letters in the kitchen while I was at Shana's Saturday night.  (I found those letters at Hobby Lobby back in January with my mom and sister. I've been so excited to hang them!)  I was so happy and thankful Josh did it for me. I have really focused on "seeing the good" in the last year, as we all struggled with quarantine and life in general.  I think it's so important that I instill in my kids the ability to find the silver linings of life. 

Watching... Josh and Carly build with Magnetix.  They are so creative and cute together. I love them.

Fixing... Molly at the vet and feeling grateful we won't have to go through any more heat cycles with her. When she got home she was really out of it for about two days.  Dazed and dizzy and so sad!  I was crazy grateful when she was finally better.  

Cleaning house... on Sunday, and then heading to my parents house for the Superbowl.  We had a great afternoon, hanging with my sister and her crew, and eating the yummy food my mom had prepared.  It was super fun! 

Loving... Jack's timeline that he created and turned in for class this week.  I love how finding out Carly was a girl is on it, and that all of his siblings made the cut.  So sweet.

Swapping... the twins' personalities this week.  I don't know what got into them, but what used to be Logan behavior, is now Jack behavior. And what used to be Jack behavior, is now Logan behavior.  It's trippy!

Dealing... with a broken washing machine lid. Thankfully I was able to find and order one online, and my brother-in-law was able to make the broken one work temporarily while it shipped. I will be so happy when it's a functioning lid again!

Taking... Logan to the doctor to get his broken pinky rewrapped and x-rayed. 

Rereading... my seventh grade journals in an effort to better understand the twins.  It was so fun (and embarrassing and mortifying- hah!) to look back.  And it really did help me connect with them. 
For example, my kids are all obsessed with money, and I thought it was so gross.  But it turns out that I was obsessed with money at that age, too.  I was finally able to earn it (typically babysitting), and I enjoyed writing in my journal about what I was spending it on, what I was saving it for, and what I everything I bought had cost. That helped me understand that it's the age. 

Enjoying... book club with the girls this month and loving them so much. I am so grateful for them.

Laughing... as I found Carly at the table playing "family" with all the scissors I keep in the kitchen. I swear that little girl could play and be entertained by just about anything! It's a skill. 

Relishing... a long weekend.  The kids had Monday off, but Josh had Friday & Tuesday as well, and it was so nice. 

Reading... Island of the Blue Dolphins to the kids; listening to White Fragility on audio and finishing The Book of Lost Names, which was so good! (Very similar to The Nightingale for those who loved that and are wanting something similar.)

Taking... care of the kids over the weekend on my own as Josh worked on putting in cabinets at our old neighbor's house. He and his brother took on the job and it was big, but they got it done!

Loving... that Carly is playing with dolls more lately.  It's so fun to see her carrying them around, pretending to feed them, and playing doctor with her Doc McStuffins kit. So cute.

***