Teaching... Wyatt & Jack what Logan's new seizures look like after they unknowingly witnessed one last weekend on the trampoline. His old seizures (grand mals) were big, fall-down-on-the-ground, easy to recognize, whereas his new ones are different. He stands still, eyes open, and often the only clue that he's having one is that he makes repetitive noises with his mouth (clicking, smacking, breathing heavy or panting). Afterward he complains of a headache. I hate that this is his new normal, but for the time being, it is. We are half way through a twelve week titration schedule getting him onto a new medication that should stop both the big and small seizures, but in the meantime, he's at risk. It's a waiting game.
Making... the most of our weekend. We played outside a lot! I also meal planned and grocery shopped, gave the boys summer haircuts, plus got the house cleaned. Then on Sunday my sister and her crew came over so I could take six month pictures of her daughter. (Isn't she adorable?!?)
Keeping... Logan home Monday for what I thought was sickness, but later I figured out was probably another seizure. He complained about how tired he was and he fell asleep in my bed for two hours Monday morning, but the rest of the day he was completely fine. I think he must have had one while getting ready for the day.
Worrying... as Wyatt became sick again Monday night, coughing and needing treatments. We got him a same-day appointment Tuesday and the doctor put him on steroids again, this time with a 3 day taper (3 days at 10ml's, 3 days at 8ml's, 3 days at 6ml's, 3 days at 4ml's, 3 days at 2ml's and 2ml's every other day for three days) instead of a two day taper. I am hopeful it will work. He'd only been off the previous steroids for four days. He ended up missing school the rest of the week, and missing his only baseball game this week.
Letting... Josh take over some of Wyatt's care Wednesday night when the advice nurse said he needed to go to the ER because of his coughing and how often he was requiring albuterol treatments in the nebulizer. Josh let me stay home and sleep, knowing how exhausted I am from Wyatt's constant care, and I'll be honest, those few hours of sleep while Wyatt was at the hospital are the best I've had in a long time. Because I knew Wyatt was in really good hands.
The ER doctor said maybe we are dealing with some seasonal allergies. Wyatt's lungs sounded clear and his oxygen is good, but there is so much congestion, it's leading to a LOT of coughing and some bad peak flow numbers. So he suggested we get Wyatt on some Claritin and follow up with allergy testing with the pulmonologist.
We got a last-minute canceled appointment assigned to Wyatt, but then found out that during an asthma flare up, he's not a candidate for allergy testing, so we had to cancel the appointment and the next appointment isn't until August 23rd. I am frustrated to say the least.
Missing... MOPS again because Wyatt was sick this week. It's so hard to miss out on that time with my mom friends when I need it most because of sick kids.
Thankful, grateful, humble and blessed... by those around us who have offered love & support in a myriad of ways this week as I have struggled in taking care of Wyatt & our whole family. Steve for helping with the twins at their game when Josh and I couldn't attend. Megan for making us dinner Thursday night. Amanda and all my MOPS Table #4 mama's who put together the most thoughtful care package- it made me feel so loved & buoyed up. Shana for bringing flowers & prayers Friday night. Kara for watching Carly & Wyatt so I could see my counselor.
And lastly, whoever it is that sent me two mystery Amazon packages- one with pens (you know my very heart, and I love them!) and one with the cutest black shirt {ALL DAY. EVERYDAY. #momlife} I love it so much. You made my day today!!!
And I can't say thank you without mentioning the people who are my lifelines daily-- my mom, my sister, and Josh's mom and sister. Those four ladies are the ones I reach out to when life is really hard, and they've been there for me so consistently. It means so much to have them in my life, there for me, rooting for me, loving my kids as much as me, and praying when things get hard. I love you all.
Giving... Jack a spelling pretest every day this week because his spelling test was so stinking hard! There were two words I had to look up because I didn't know the meaning (and I have a bachelor's degree!!!) For the record, the words were "elodea" and "hydroponics". I can't wait to see how he did on the test!
Enjoying... watching Josh and the boys put in our garden. Josh takes full responsibility for our garden (I have no green thumbs) and I know he gets that from his parents, particularly his mama. She is an amazing gardener. So he comes by it naturally. Plus he knows how much joy Wyatt gets from growing a garden. So he came home Thursday night this week with a bunch of plants to put in- corn, peppers, watermelon, tomatoes, cucumbers... and he had Wyatt help him dig holes. Wyatt was so happy to help.
Taking... Wyatt back to the doctor again Friday when things still weren't getting better. I was relieved to hear from her that his lungs and oxygen are good and that she agrees with the ER doctor that allergies are the likely culprit for his coughing. (It's frustrating for me because Wyatt doesn't wheeze when he's having asthma. He coughs. So when he coughs I don't know if that means he's having asthma or if he's just coughing. Super scary for this mama.) She suggested we add Flonase (a nasal spray) to our allergy arsenal and see if that helps. It instantly did, and I am so relieved to report that he is already doing a lot better!
Meeting... with my counselor again this week. We've been meeting every other week, and that seems to be working well. I was tempted to cancel this week because Wyatt was sick, but my sweet friend Kara said to just leave him with her (her son has Reactive Airway too, and she knows all about asthma) since she was watching Carly anyway, and I was so grateful. So I went to my appointment, knowing that self care was really important.
We talked about making the best of this life I'm living. I can't control Logan's seizures, or Wyatt's asthma. But I can choose to live in joy regardless of how they're doing. So trying to find moments of joy. We also talked about letting go, bit by bit, and accepting help. I am working really hard on that. I took a couple big steps this week- letting Josh take Wyatt to the ER, having my friend watch Wyatt for me, and letting my friend bring us dinner. It is hard and humbling to need help. To say, "I can't do this alone", to be so vulnerable... but the truth is, I can't. So it's important to be honest about that and accept help. I'd much rather be the one helping than be the one needing help. But I'm not currently in that position.
Sending... the three boys to Vancouver with Josh as a Mother's Day gift to myself (and my sanity, literally) to enjoy a quiet weekend rejuvenating with only Carly to care for. Last night we watched a movie and ate egg rolls and I was in bed by 8:30pm. For the rest of the weekend I plan to mix self care and relaxation with getting things done so that I can start next week feeling a little more like my old self. Sleep is the top priority, followed closely by having some fun and cleaning the house. ;)
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