around here: week 30 2020

{July 19-25}

Carly & cousin Liesel

Jack, cousin Gustav & Logan

Cousin Gisele & Wyatt

Grandma & Papa's land

Falling... directly off the workout wagon after a week of doing fantastic.  I vacillated between forcing myself to get back on, and being kind to myself during this crazy, stressful time, and I decided I need kindness right now.  

Googling... medical things after months of keeping away from it. My health anxiety always acts up when life gets stressful, and contemplating the next school year is feeling real heavy currently.  

Frustrated... with Logan as he lost his retainer after only a few days of having it. Sigh. 

Now he's on "dishes duty" until he earns the money it cost us to replace it. 

Creating... daily lists for the kids to complete in order to earn their afternoon screen time.  We also cut morning screen time this week in an effort to get them moving and playing more and doing less screens as we head towards the school year.  So far it's going really well.  

They have to do things like eat, get dressed & brush. Plus make their beds, tidy their rooms, and do their daily chores. (Daily chores here alternate between all three brothers and include unloading the dishwasher, doing the catbox and scooping the dog poop in the yard.) They also have to do Xtra Math, a half hour of reading and outside time. 

I laminated the lists so the kids can check them off as they go, and then we go over them together before they do screens.  It's not perfect, but I do find that more of their list is done than when we didn't have the lists printed off.  Highly recommend!

Trying... on masks as Josh's order came in for the school year.  Sometimes I still can't believe this is our reality.

Grateful... for a supportive sister who understands what anxiety is and reminds me to take things step by step when my panic overwhelms me.  

Enjoying... a Milo/Wyatt playdate at our house this week.  My sister lives about an hour and a half away, so we meet in the middle to trade kids every so often, and it's such a nice way to change up the dynamic in our houses.

Wyatt also got to enjoy a playdate with his cousin Alvin this week.  They played games and ate lunch together on Aunt Julie's day off and Wyatt loved it.  He really does have middle child syndrome, constantly needing just a little more attention than I can give him. So having others around to love on him helps so much!

Swimming... in the hot, hot weather and inviting the boys' cousin Alvin to join us.  Everyday I want to text my mom and tell her and my dad thanks for the pool.  It's seriously what is getting us through these summer afternoons!!!

Rejoicing... as Josh moved our dinner plate hibiscus from our first house to this house after our old neighbor called to let us know the new owner was going to remove it.  I told Josh it felt like bringing one of our kids home.  He laughed and said he feels like the pressure is now on to make sure it doesn't die. hah!

Sending... the kids to Grandma's camp with their cousins on Friday & Saturday. They tie dyed shirts; had water balloon fights; made art; and even busted open a piñata. Josh's mom is such a fun grandma!

Hosting... the family for tons of swims and meals as Josh's sister was in town with her family, and the rest of his family joined us off & on as well.  We were happy to have everyone over after months of no one enjoying our house except us, and felt especially thankful for the pool, which is truly the gift that keeps on giving. 

Talking... to Josh's sister Andrea (there are seven kids in his family- he is #5, and Andrea is just older than him at #4) who was here visiting with her husband and three kids for Grandma's camp.  We used to live next door to each other in duplexes in Vancouver 10+ years ago, and since then, we have grown apart and I was never sure why.  Over this weekend, things reached a head, and Andrea was very brave and vulnerable in meeting with us to let us know why it felt like there was a wall between our families, and I am so, so grateful.  

She let me know that when Gustav (her oldest, who is six months older than the twins) was a baby, he had a loud toy, which she and her husband, both of whom are Deaf, couldn't hear, and I took the toy and traded him for a quiet toy.  At the time, I didn't think of this as a slight to them as Deaf parents, but now, after talking with Andrea & Taylor about the incident, I can absolutely see that I should have discussed it with them, not just acted.  I apologized and told them that I may continue to make mistakes in regards to their being Deaf since I am hearing, but that I promise to be open to anything they may have to talk to me about or want to teach me, and that I will try. I will try and try and try because a relationship, especially for our seven collective kids, is worth it.  

Andrea also talked to me about having a relationship with Josh because in the past I told her it was hard for me to see her and Josh be so close without being jealous.  Out of respect for our marriage, she backed off.  But she would like to try again.  I like to think that I have matured some since then, and told her that I don't want to come between her and her brother any longer. She gave me so much grace for my former clumsiness, not holding the past against me, but kindly agreeing that we can all choose to move forward from here. 

Thanks to her honesty, we were able to move past some old mistakes I made and let our kids be cousins and best friends, and it's the most beautiful thing I've honestly ever seen.

Realizing... how much I have missed using sign language.  Josh and I met our junior year in high school in ASL (American Sign Language) class, where he was the teacher's aid and I was attempting to get fluent in sign.  From there, we continued dating, volunteering at the deaf school, spending time with his sister, and eventually living next door to her and her (then) boyfriend. I loved using sign then. It's so beautiful and amazes me when I really stop and think about it. 

Their visit this week piqued our kids' interest in it, as they hate when we're all "talking" (signing) and they don't know what we're saying. So I have promised them that if we end up distance learning/homeschooling next year, I will start teaching them sign. Silver lining, as it were.

Loving... seeing our kids together and bonding, especially Liesel and Carly, who are only a year apart.  They never fought, were so kind and patient with each other, and love each other so much that Carly even cried every time that Liesel had to leave to go back to their RV for the night.   

I also really enjoyed getting to know Andrea's kids myself, seeing their tender hearts, their funny senses of humor (is there anything better than cousins laughing together???) and watching as they got to know my kids as well.  It was a weekend I'll forever cherish.

Remembering... as I face an unknown school year that hope is always worth it. 

"You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. 

What you need to recognize is the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, 

and to embrace them with courage, faith & hope."

-Thomas Merton

We got this, mamas. 

Roxanne sent me this.
It could not be more true. 

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