12.03.2023

Around Here: Week 37 2023

Good Bones

Life is short, though I keep this from my children.

Life is short, and I've shortened mine

in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways,

a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways

I'll keep from my children. The world is at least 

fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative

estimate, though I keep this from my children.

For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird.

For every loved child, a child broken, bagged,

sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world

is at least half terrible, and for every kind

stranger, there is one who would break you,

though I keep this from my children. I am trying

to sell them the world. Any decent realtor,

walking you through a real shithole, chirps on

about good bones: This place could be beautiful,

right? You could make this place beautiful.

~Maggie Smith


***


{September 10-16th}


My sister-in-law Julie had told me her son leaves drink cups on the counter and it drives Julie's wife crazy. So Jack made this joke about it as he was doing dishes. My kids' sense of humor is my favorite. 

George is obsessed with the air bubbles that pop up in the dog water dish.


Timing my walks








The night before we watched a friends' daughter, 
Carly set out this book to read to her. 











That feeling when the dishes are done,
and the sink is clean.

... and then you turn around and you missed an entire stack of dishes.

"You only live once. Love it."
-Wyatt Cunningham

Sweet baby Alanna

Reading... The Last Ranger (on audio). It's pretty good, but not gonna be a five star read. I am also listening to the memoir You Could Make This Place Beautiful. I enjoyed it, but it was a little more sad than I thought it would be based on the title. The poem at the top of this post was written by the same author.  And finally I am also reading Red Clocks which has been really good. 

Sending... Carly to school with flowers from our yard for her teacher. She is just the most thoughtful little girl.

Walking... for twenty minutes and listening to my podcasts as I do so. I am really loving both the Healing Her and Deinfluenced podcasts. I follow both those girls on Instagram and they're so fun.  I love walking and seeing the flowers and trees in everyone's yards and I also love walking Grady because he gets so dang excited when I say "walk". He's such a good boy. 

Laughing... as Jack donned my apron while he washed the dishes. He cracks me up. 

Eating... my feelings in the form of Froot Loops. I am feeling just like a huge failure following last week. I am mad at myself about my lapsed substitute certificate and mad about how much I'm struggling in my current GCU class. What's your go-to comfort food? I love cereal, Ritz crackers and candy bars. (Chocolate always helps, am I right?)

Grateful... for my sister who always knows exactly what to say when I'm struggling. We had chatted a few times this week and at the end of one convo she said to me, "Don't give up and don't beat yourself up." I wrote the two on a sticky note and kept them at my desk all week.  I was grateful for her love and grace and knew she was right, I needed to extend myself the same love and grace. 

Recording... the cooing dove in my neighborhood with the Merlin Bird app and finding out it's an Eurasian Collared Dove. I was so happy to finally catch it on my app. 

Getting... a gaming thing (Nintendo switch maybe?) off Facebook market. He was so happy to have it. He loves all things video games, especially the older ones.  He has an original Nintendo (the kind I grew up with) and even has the duck hunt gun. Josh can often be cound playing Mario on it.
When I told the twins that I was going to pick up the handheld gaming device for Wyatt, they asked where it was in town and if they should come with me in case it was sketchy. It made me feel so loved and protected by them. 

Loving... how my niece Daphne calls me "Aunt Shally" and always wants it to be her turn to talk to my on the phone. She is so cute, and if I could capture her little voice in a jar to keep, I would absolutely do so. 

Watching... Josh's coworker Julia's baby girl, Scarlet. Carly was absolutely thrilled to have a baby for the day.  We pushed her to school with us in her stroller, and Carly pushed it nearly halfway.  She was such a sweet baby- playing adorably, napping like a champ, and eating anything I offered. In the afternoon when I picked Carly up, she FLEW into the van, delighted to see the baby. When we were at home again, and I walked around unpacking backpacks and getting stuff out for dinner, I cherished having a baby on my hip. I haven't had a baby on my hip for seven years, and it felt like coming home again. Carly made a smoothie to share, pouring a tiny little amount into a cappacino cup I bought in Europe and even found a tiny straw for Scarlet to use. Scarlet loved it and I loved how Carly wanted to help take care of the baby. Scarlet is also cloth diapered, which again made me feel like I was home, as both Carly and Wyatt were cloth diapered. And Scarlet looks a LOT like Wyatt did as a baby. Gosh it just made me miss my kids as babes and toddlers. 

Answering... Carly later that night when Carly asked, "Is it hard being a mom?" When I asked why she was asking, she said, "Because when I saw Julie pick up Scarlet and she had Violet with her, too, I thought, 'It would be really hard to be a mom of a toddler AND a baby'." I laughed and said, yes, being a mom IS hard.  And I told her how I had twins Violet's age, and a baby Scarlet's age, and it was indeed hard. But it's also pretty fun and magical. 

Happy... to report that Josh doesn't think about the Roman Empire at all. (iykyk) I think this is because he is such an involved husband and father. He doesn't have time to worry about Augustus Caesar.

Chatting... with my faraway bestie twins Kari & Kori who I've known since... 9th grade? Maybe even younger. We met at church and they are the best. We can not talk for weeks, months, at a time, and every time we start talking it's like we never stopped.  They never judge me and they are always supportive and cheering me on, whatever I decide to do. I love them so much and am so grateful for their friendship. They also have anxiety and talking to them makes me feel normal for worrying over every single tiny little thing. 

Celebrating... my cousin Savanna and her husband Deric who had their first baby, a girl, named Alanna. I am just so proud of them and their marriage. I love their friendship and the way they talk about each other. That is going to be one loved and lucky baby!

Sending... Jack off to start Traffic Safety which feels crazy since he is only five years old. Hah! No but seriously, how are we already here?!? 

Doing... a foot peel I ordered off Amazon. I can't wait to see the results! Have you done one?

Noticing... that all the groceries are simultaneously getting more expensive AND smaller. These were the bananas that were for sale at Walmart and they were barely bigger than my fingers. I also noticed that the Goldfish box has gotten smaller, same as the jerky sticks we usually buy. It's so frustrating. Especially as I am trying to feed three teenage boys!

Worrying... about Wyatt who witnessed a fellow middle schooler get hit by a truck on the crosswalk parallel to the one he was walking home on after school one day. Miraculously the boy was fine. He only hurt his arm and somehow fell under the truck between the wheels so that it passed over him, but didn't injure him.  It was terrifying, though, and makes me both so grateful none of my kids have been hurt crossing the highway and worried that one day they will be. It also made me angry because whoever hit that kid had a red light and it is very clear during that time that school is letting out. It is pure chaos with kids and cars and buses everywhere. I wish people would just slow down and pay attention. 

Making... chocolate dipped strawberries (some regular, and some "creepy" with bloody eye candies) for Carly's special night. They were delicous! Chocolate dipped strawberries always remind me of senior night in Marshall (the village we lived in in Alaska) because Josh brought me home a plate from dinner (I was home with the boys, who were asleep) and there was a salad (!) AND chocolate dipped strawberries, and they might have been the most delicious things I ever ate. 

Taking... the twins and their friends (who are also identical twins) to Walmart for a snack run before their sleepover. As I walked behind them I couldn't help feeling nostalgic for these boys who were first friends at 9 years old, tiny, with the cutest voices and these special friendship handshakes, and now they're all driving (with permits) and looking like men. I am just so proud of them all and love them so much. And oh the way they all can make me laugh. It's just the best. 

Grateful... that my mom and sister took three of my four kids so I could do homework.  It was so darn peaceful! In addition to homework, I also did dishes and was so happy when the sink was empty, only to turn around and see that I missed an entire stack of dishes. Dang it!! 
Jack loves my sister's baby girl Sweet P, who for some reason the twins call "Mary".  Pictures of those big man-children loving on that tiny elf baby just melt my mama heart. Logan was the only one who didn't go to Wenatchee and he had a sleepover with his friends Ian & Eli. 
I am also really grateful for my parents who gifted Josh a Blackstone! It is going to be so cool for him to cook for us on. Pancakes, bacon, hamburgers, etc. are going to be so easy to cook in bulk!

Enjoying... some time with just me and Josh at home since all the kids were gone. That is incredibly rare!

***









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