Showing posts with label Romy's adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Romy's adoption. Show all posts

1.16.2020

around here :: week 2 2020



























Enjoying... taco salad as a change for date night with Josh on Friday after the kids were in bed. It took me back to our date nights in Alaska when we would sometimes have that.  We both look back so lovingly on our time there.  It almost feels as if it were a dream. (Don't worry, I also remember that they rarely had eggs or sour cream at the co-op and that we thought "good weather" was when it was above zero and not windy. Hah!)

Blessed... with a day all to myself on Saturday when Josh took the kids to the park, out to lunch, and then to his parent's house.  That was on top of letting me sleep in until 11:30.  I honestly can't remember the last time I slept until 11:30am.  I'm certain it was before children. (So, circa 2006 or 2007) I am trying so hard to get over this cold, though, that I slept like the dead and could tell I so needed that rest!
During my day off I did a ton of reading for book club on Tuesday (we are reading A Severe Mercy) and a ton of laundry (so.many.loads!). 
Honestly, though, no matter what I was doing, I just soaked up the silence. There is nothing like the quiet of an empty house to bring my soul back to equilibrium.

Getting... the twins caught up on missing work from when they were sick before Christmas break as we prepared to head back to school Monday.  We also cleaned the house and the kids even vacuumed out my van, so we all felt totally ready to jump back into our routine by Sunday evening. 

Reading... A Severe Mercy and If Only I Could Tell You, and listening to Find the Good on audio.  I love break because it means I can spend a whole heck of a lot of time just sitting around reading.  And that's my favorite.
If Only I Could Tell You has been a real page turner and I've been surprised a few times already!  Find the Good is a feel good listen, and goes right along with my phrase for the new year ("See the good") and is really uplifting.
I also read this by Anne Lamott (or you can watch the video) and feeling really inspired by it. Especially this part:
"If you don't know where to start, remember that every single thing that happened to you is yours, and you get to tell it. If people wanted you to write more warmly about them, they should've behaved better.
You're going to feel like hell if you wake up someday and you never wrote the stuff that is tugging on the sleeves of your heart: your stories, memories, visions and songs -- your truth, your version of things -- in your own voice. That's really all you have to offer us, and that's also why you were born." Gah! It's just SO good!!!
{Thanks for sharing this with me, Debbie.  I needed to hear it.}  

Loving... the new football game the boys are playing on the trampoline. It is keeping them outside for hours, with very little fighting, which is unheard of.  I also love how when they are on the trampoline, Grady lays in the grass in front of it like a guard dog.  Even Carly has gotten out there with them a few times.

Understanding... that having a little sister is HARD sometimes.  Wyatt worked so diligently on two of his wooden puzzles, then left them unattended and Carly took them apart. He was so heartbroken and angry.  I encouraged him to try again, and to forgive her, but he was mad for quite some time.  #siblinglife

Enduring... a surprise withdrawal from our bank account that we thought wasn't due until February (because it said it wasn't due until February) and taking a deep breath while trying to regroup.  While we're getting our feet under us without falling back on credit cards, every little bill or unexpected expense has the ability to throw us off. 
I'm stretching our groceries a bit further to balance out the unexpected expense by making homemade bread (for making french toast for dinner one night this week & to eat with breakfast) and homemade tortillas (for tacos and quesadillas) and being as creative as possible with what is still in our pantry.  I am grateful for our time in Alaska during times like these because I got really good at working with what was in the pantry and cooking from scratch when needed. 

Sending... the kids back to school and making our new favorite family dinner Monday night.  We had meatloaf, made in my square muffin pan tin with little bacon strips on each tiny meatloaf along with corn, mashed potatoes and gravy.  Every one of the four kids ate everything on their plate. It felt like a back-to-school/New Year miracle! So yummy, we may just have it every week!

Watching... Season 3 of Anne with an E and wishing it would go on forever.

Comforting... Carly during her night time growing pains.  She has been waking up the past week in tears over the pain she has in her legs.  One night even her arms and her feet hurt.  When I'm in there, I rub them and rock her back to sleep after giving her some pain meds.  I try not to worry and think it's anything other than growing pains, but it's hard not to worry when your kid wakes from a dead sleep sobbing like Carly has been. The boys never did this at this age.

Frustrated... with Grady who ate one of Carly's {favorite} puppy dog toys, Skye, and one of my slippers while I wasn't paying attention the other day.  For the most part he is such a good dog, but if he gets bored, or we leave things on the floor (especially shoes!) he tends to get a little "chewy". sigh. Carly cried HYSTERICALLY when I showed her what he had done. I felt so bad, but I knew I had to show her.  She would wonder where Skye had gone, and she has to learn not to leave her toys on the floor. Poor girl.  Later, though, she hugged him and said, "I forgive you, Grady. I forgive you, boy."

Thankful... that the cats are coming downstairs more and more and seem to be adjusting to Grady's presence here.  He's only been here a month, so I'm still holding out hope that someday I will find him and Ramona or George curled up in a nap together on the couch. #bigdreams

Smiling... when I saw the message that Logan and Wyatt had put up using Carly's bath tub alphabet in their shower. "Love You Mom & Dad" Those boys can sure be sweet when they want to be.

Attending... our first book club meeting of the year and loving the opportunity to discuss A Severe Mercy, which was a great romantic book about grief, and also the meeting where we chose our books for the next six months. I am so excited for what we will read!!



Back... to wrestling for the boys, who enjoyed a two week respite over break, plus the two weeks they spent sick before that.  Now we're trying to decide who is going to continue on this next quarter.  Jack & Wyatt say they're pretty sure they want to, but Logan really doesn't. So Josh and I have a decision to make. 

Getting... basically no news (which is good news) from Wyatt's neurologist when we went to see her in Spokane on Thursday.  His EEG was clear- it showed no seizures and no abnormalities- which is great, but it still leaves us wondering what these staring spells are.  He hasn't had any in a while, so we are just going to watch and wait.  Dr. Eastman said that seizures will make themselves known (by increasing in severity or frequency) so if they are seizures, we will know eventually.  In the meantime we just have to keep Wyatt safe, which is pretty easy considering his staring spells/seizures only seem to be happening in the classroom or in bed and are very short in duration. 
I am so thankful Josh's mom was able to have Carly for the day Thursday so Wyatt and I could head to Spokane without her in tow, as she gets carsick and isn't the most patient girl at the doctor's office. (What three year old is?!?)
Every time I head to the children's hospital I get very anxious about finding parking, especially if my appointment is midday like it was today.  So as I drive into the parking garage, I say a little prayer that God would send someone out to their car as I am driving by, and every time it works.  I know it's a little thing, and it might seem silly to you, but for me, it alleviates so much stress, and I'm so grateful for God meeting that small request.

Tearing up... when I received my sister's adoption announcement in the mail.  It made it feel... I don't know... official? I was so excited, and so happy for my sister, and I loved seeing that sometimes there are happy endings.

Watching... the snow fall on Friday as I stayed home taking care of Logan who was home sick, sick, sick and reading my books. Logan's got a terrible sore throat and fever and chills, poor kid.  The only good thing was that I didn't have much going on so I was able to just sit with him on the couch and really snuggle him up good.

Sleeplessness... is leading to more worry than (my current) normal, which is crummy.  Normally I am able to tell myself, "Think horses not zebras" when it comes to me or the kids being sick... but with myself not sleeping, my thoughts are bit more chaotic than normal and it's hard to talk myself down.  Like with Carly's growing pains, I keep thinking it must be something worse. And with Logan's illness, I kept thinking it must be something to do with his seizure med levels... but really, it's probably just growing pains in Carly and some kind of flu in Logan.  But try telling that to my crazy, child-loving, fear-protecting, worst-case-scenario thinking, sleep deprived mind!

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1.10.2020

Week 51 Around Here {2019}







pc: Carly Cunningham









The many faces of Carly
























The Tuckers
2019




Meeting... my girl Shana for dinner (thanks friend!) when we both desperately needed to get out of our houses and have some girl time.  It was so nice to just sit and talk, uninterrupted, for hours, while eating GOOD food.  I am so, so grateful for her and how she just gets me.

Parenting... so hard.  Gosh, I just had no idea that it would get harder.  I really thought that it was tough when we were in the "baby trenches" with the twins. And it was hard, don't get me wrong.  But it was hard in a different way.  It was physically exhausting, whereas parenting now is emotionally wearying.  Teaching our boys about responsibility and keeping them on top of their homework (for SEVEN classes EACH) is a constant struggle.  I often think of moms whose kids struggle academically or emotionally, and wonder how do they even cope? My boys are really good kids who are capable, it's just a matter of making sure they do what they need to do when they need to do it. If they had any additional barriers, I can't even imagine. I think I'd lose my  mind. Also, seven classes for your first year in middle school is WAY too many.  Sigh.

I keep telling myself my favorite Abraham Lincoln quote: "The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time."  I can do that. One day at a time.

Nursing... Logan as he became sick on Wednesday and Thursday this week.  He doesn't seem to have Influenza B, thankfully, like the other three had, but a nasty cold nonetheless.

Overwhelmed... by dishes, all.the.time.  I don't remember it being this bad in our other house. But maybe we eat more? Or I'm cooking more? I don't know. But I am determined to not let them get the best of me.  So I am trying to listen to books on audio every time I do the dishes so I don't dread them as much as usual. It's helping!

Watching... our Elf on the Shelf (Dashy) nail it every night with fishing for Goldfish and other cute shenanigans. I can't believe he hasn't been sick at all this month.  We're all wondering, too, if his presence scared off the tooth fairy, because for some reason she wasn't coming around. So Dashy helped us out and wrote her a note.  Finally she showed up and took Wyatt and Jack's lost teeth and left them some money and some glitter.  Phew!

Taking... Wyatt and Carly to Spokane with Josh on Tuesday so Wyatt could participate in a sleep deprived EEG.  He's been having these strange staring spells at school where he can't look away, even though he wants to.  The way he described them to me reminded me of how Logan described some of his absent seizures, so I asked his doctor for a referral to neurology.  Monday night I stayed up with him until midnight, then Josh woke up with him at 4:00am.  They have to be sleep deprived for the EEG so they will fall asleep during part of the test.  He did great during it and was a real trooper, as was Carly, who was just along for the ride. (She gets really carsick, but thankfully Dramamine seems to help and she was fine the whole way) It's about an hour and a half drive, but fairly straight and simple, which is nice, but I was so grateful Josh was able to drive us.  Sometimes the kids' appointments are hard on me emotionally and being there by myself is tough.  He said of course he'd come if I'd like him to.  I am so grateful.
After his EEG he had a pulmonology appointment as well.  We discussed how much better is was in 2019 compared to 2018, and that is so exciting to me. He was on oral steroids 3x in a row in 2018 and was sick many, many other times requiring his nebulizer. In 2019 he was only on oral steroids once and required his nebulizer much less.  She also confirmed that he FOR SURE does not have cystic fibrosis.  She said that there are numbers they get from the sweat test and his was super low, so there's no way he has any type of CF, even a less severe form. That was sure a relief.
The next step for Wyatt (aside from determining whether his staring spells are seizures) is to have a sleep study done at Seattle Children's to see if his central sleep apnea has improved/disappeared or if it's still an issue. We will do that in the spring.

Enjoying... our dog so much! It feels like Grady's been part of the family forever.  He loves to give us hugs on the couch and is sad when any of us leave the house. He'll be thrilled when we have Christmas break and everyone is home.  He is warming up, though, and testing some boundaries- Logan was making bacon and had it laid out on the sheet for the oven and when we were counting, there were eight. Then we turned around and there were only seven and Grady was licking his chops. Hah!
The cats are starting to understand he is here to stay.  George is still staying upstairs (Grady isn't allowed upstairs) but Ramona has ventured down a few times, much to my delight. I'm really hopeful they will all adjust to each other soon and become the best of friends.

Wrapping... gifts like a madwoman so that I don't have to do any wrapping while the kids are home during break.  It's been fun to wrap while watching my favorite holiday movies- The Family Stone (I love that there is a Deaf family member.  They are so often left out in Hollywood) and The Holiday (I just adore Kate Winslet!).

Feeling... crazy proud of Logan for being invited to join honor society for his grades last quarter.  Josh took him to the induction ceremony and said it was really special.

Running... around Wednesday after getting the boys last minute ortho appointments to fix their braces.  I also picked up Wyatt's regular asthma prescriptions and got some groceries after running to the bank.  I got home just in time to meet Wyatt's Health Liaison Alma, whom I meet with every month, to discuss where we are at with his health and what the next steps should be.

Reading... and finishing both Winter Solstice and To The Bright Edge of the World. They were both such good, heartwarming reads.  I loved To The Bright Edge of the World because it was about Vancouver, Washington (where I was born and raised) and about Alaska (where I spent five years raising my boys before Carly came along) and was so well written. I just loved it.
Winter Solstice is the perfect winter read, and I listened to it on audio and could not stop listening. I highly suggest it!

Finishing... Game of Thrones with Josh and feeling such a tremendous letdown that we're done with the series!  It's a double letdown because I thought A) Jon totally should have been King (duh!) and B) What do I have to look forward to in my life now?
Hahaha!

Ordering... Wyatt's EEG results from our primary care physician and reading the results to the best of my ability.  (We couldn't get in to see the neurologist when we were in Spokane Tuesday to get results- she was all booked up, so I was left to my own devices... or having to wait until our appointment January 9th, and I can't do that!)
From what I can tell, his results showed no abnormalities, so the EEG showed no seizure activity.  I imagine when we meet with the neurologist (the same one we see for Logan) she will tell us that at this point we will just wait and see.  Logan's first EEG was also normal.  So time will tell.  Either the seizure will ramp up in activity, or the behavior will stop.

Napping... with Carly when she got home from Grandma's on Thursday.  I had a migraine and she was sleepy from having fallen asleep in the car on the trip home, so we just rolled with it and slept together in my room.  It was the coziest nap I have had in ages.

Traveling... with my crew on Friday to see my sister adopt her little girl from foster care.  They brought Romy home from the hospital and have cared for her for almost 800 days.  December 20th she officially became a Tucker. It was magic watching their family go through everything in the court room- raising their hands, swearing to treat her like their own (they always have) and standing with the judge to take their first picture as a family.
If you've been here for a while you know that my sister's beautiful family fostered another little girl who we fell in love with and was part of our family for a year and a half before she was reunited with her birth family.  So this happy ending after that loss is especially meaningful.  Romy is yet another little girl in our family who is a very beloved rainbow baby.
The whole day was just amazing and my sister, being the giving, thoughtful person she is, asked for donations instead of gifts, and collected diapers and clothing to donate back to babies coming into foster care. She's always thinking of others.

Tearing up... when my sister presented yellow rose corsages to our mom and her mother-in-law to thank them for being strong women for Romy to see and grow up with in her life.  Unbeknownst to each other, both of their moms' favorite flowers were yellow roses.  It was really neat that Roxanne found that out and was able to include their moms, Romy's Great Grandmother's, who have both passed away, in such a special way, on such a special day.

 I love this quote.
I am so grateful my sister kept her heart and eyes open. Because of her, we have Romy in our lives.  Thanks for teaching us that love is always the answer, Roxanne. 


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And this one for a laugh.
Because if I don't laugh, my two sixth graders may make me lose my mind
:: up in here ::  up in here ::